I have only one thought. Only those who can make good wives and mothers or good husbands and fathers make good religious.
A religious (whether he is a priest or not) is a man or woman who is nurturing, has the capacity for intimacy, feels affection for others and can receive affection without discomfort. A religoius is one who is in love with the world, even if he or she is in an enclosure.
A good religious has parental feeling for the world and his/her community. S(he) has the great capacity to show care and concern for his brothers or sisters. To take care of them in good times and in bad. S(he) has the ability to remain faithful, even when he stops feeling and the honeymoon of religious life is over.
I believe that one reason that many religious communities are wrapping it up is that they aditted too many stoics. I remember reigious brothers and sisters being distant, even from each other. Then came Vatican II, they found an excuse for distance. They became engaged in the social aspects of ministry. It served as a good excuse to remain away from the religious community for long periods at a time. For some, it was years.
They thought that they were being practical, because they were engaged in serving the people of God. What they had done was the same as the husband or wife who replaces his marriage and family with his career.
Religious life does not work without an intimate community life. What made orders like the Franciscans, Carmelites, Jesuits, Dominicans, Augustinians, Missionaries of Charity and the other large and vibrant orders last this long has been their strong community life.
They may have made many mistakes in areas such as liturgy, even doctrines and so forth. But they have a very good chance at recovery from their mistakes, because they have very strong and strict community bonds. When you have that, your brothers or sisters eventually draw you back from your errors. You have someone to listen to and someone who will hear you. You have a covenant relationship with other people. Your life is not a private mental exercise in logic, but a joint adventure where you make mistakes and you work together to correct them.
You are a parent, a spouse and a child in a community that has a strong emphasis on brotherhood before ministry. This is the glue that has held together the large religious familieis and which is helping younger religious families to grow very quickly.
Pray for the gift of intimacy and nurturing. You can use it in marriage or in religious life. It won’t go to waste in either case.
Fraternally,
JR
