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mullenpm
Guest
Jesus said “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” How is it possible to love a neighbor who has wronged you? What exactly does “love” mean? Should we avoid this person? Must we be friends?
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Stylites
Guest
Well, consider the fact that we wrong ourselves whenever we sin.
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YankeeRC
Guest
I always felt a Baptist Pastor friend I had got some corners of practical theology right and this is one of those areas 
Forgiving does not mean having to forget. It doesn’t mean you have to lie down and let someone walk all over you time and time again. If they wronged you, and you did something in anger as a response you may go the extra mile and initiate an apology, but you should not feel restrained from saying you were hurt. Once the apology or reconciliation on one issue is made you can both move on with life and you will no longer have the burning ball of hate in your belly. By not carrying a grudge or hat you are loving your neighbor.
Forgiving does not mean having to forget. It doesn’t mean you have to lie down and let someone walk all over you time and time again. If they wronged you, and you did something in anger as a response you may go the extra mile and initiate an apology, but you should not feel restrained from saying you were hurt. Once the apology or reconciliation on one issue is made you can both move on with life and you will no longer have the burning ball of hate in your belly. By not carrying a grudge or hat you are loving your neighbor.
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Ben_F
Guest
That sums it up pretty much with me also. God doesn´t want you to be a doormat. God wants us not to judge, however He wants us to know a tree by it´s fruits. Peter says avoid these types of people. Pray for them? Yes. Forgive them? Yes. Act like it never happened. Never. You learn by experience. God bless:thumbsup:
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valentino
Guest
One has to love God(Jesus)first.you know longer see the enemy.
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Evan
Guest
I’ve always used the definition of Christian Love (Agape) as
TO DESIRE WHAT IS BEST FOR THE OTHER
The best may be:
Give what you judge is the best for the other.
TO DESIRE WHAT IS BEST FOR THE OTHER
The best may be:
- Prison time
- Separation from a spouse to end the sin of child abuse
- Communication only through electronic means
- Reconciliation and renewal of a commitment
- Communication ONLY through prayer
Give what you judge is the best for the other.
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wisdomseeker
Guest
I would think that to love someone doesnt mean to be friends. I would say just avoid the feelings and desires of hate towards that person. Seek to please God first. Our Lord says that He would bring your enemy to be at peace with you. I tend to avoid those who hurt me, not all but some.
Sacred Scriptures tells us to avoid certain people. we know He is talking about those who falsely teaches about God. Does that mean we no longer love them? obviously not. but for our own good, they must be avoided.
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Evan
Guest
Wow. Re-reading this, I was really wrong the way I stated what I wanted to say. Their day to day needs are important. For this is how we show our love. This is what helps them to their eternal welfare. I don’t know where my head was
What I meant was, we do not need to interact with them on a day to day basis IF that is detrimental to their spiritual health. We still need to help with their physical needs, pray for them, and treat them with dignity no matter how we ‘feel’ about them.Love is not a ditch. Something you can fall into.
Love is not a feeling. Something that comes and goes according to your mood.
Love is a decision. The decision to do what is best for the other.
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mullenpm
Guest
Evan, you said:
“… [w]e do not need to interact with them on a day to day basis IF that is detrimental to their spiritual health.”
What about the spiritual health of the person who was wronged? Why should that person need to interact with a neighbor who has severly harmed them? And how would not interacting with the neighbor harm the neighbor’s spiritual health?
Pray for them, perhaps - but helping with “physical” needs - I don’t think so. This is a neighbor, not a family member.
“… [w]e do not need to interact with them on a day to day basis IF that is detrimental to their spiritual health.”
What about the spiritual health of the person who was wronged? Why should that person need to interact with a neighbor who has severly harmed them? And how would not interacting with the neighbor harm the neighbor’s spiritual health?
Pray for them, perhaps - but helping with “physical” needs - I don’t think so. This is a neighbor, not a family member.
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Evan
Guest
Of course, you must also be monitoring your own spiritual needs. I did not know anyone was wronged in this thread… or severly harmed.
Not interacting with neighbours would not bring the Good News to them. At the end of mass we are sent to spread the Good News. Not doing so, we fail in our prophetic call.
Helping with physical needs comes under: Feed the poor, Give drink to the thirsty, Visit those in prison. The corporal works of mercy.
The apostle James wrote: "What [is] the profit, my brethren, if any one say he have faith, but have not works? can faith save him? Now if a brother or a sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one from amongst you say to them, Go in peace, be warmed and filled; but give not to them the needful things for the body, what [is] the profit? So also faith, if it have not works, is dead by itself. "
You can feed your neighbor by paying taxes, working with a food bank, donating to charities. If you are referring strictly to your next door neighbor, you can even point out the food bank, help them get in contact with St Vincent de Paul society, etc.
And your relatives can be your neighbors. Have you never seen ‘everybody loves raymond’
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laszlo
Guest
When I was young and fresh the example was St Rita. He was abused by her husband, and she tolerated it praying for him until his death.
Unfortunately now we live in the world of the everlasting un-forgiveness.
The Christian principle was the statue of limitations. This was abolished.
Unfortunately now we live in the world of the everlasting un-forgiveness.
The Christian principle was the statue of limitations. This was abolished.
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HelenRose
Guest
I think that if we come to a place when can truly pray for and desire good for some one who has wrong us, we are on the road for forgiveness.
Also we need to examine closely if “forgiving” is actually “enabling” We do not do anyone a service by letting them sin against us. If our forgiving rises us to pity, compassion and understanding we can be in a much better place to help a person. However, being a dormat is a different matter all together and requires no courage nor growth in oneself or for those around us.
I often think that the lack of forgiveness (resentment, anger, desire for revenge, etc) can be like drinking poison then waiting for the other person to die.
(I have prayed, "Dear God, “Bless this neighber of mine with a new home, new job and wonderful new friends - elsewhere.” It worked. My neighbor with whom I had argued did find a new home, new job and new friends in another nearby town. Strangely enough, I missed her and when we ran into each other we were always glad to see each other.
Also we need to examine closely if “forgiving” is actually “enabling” We do not do anyone a service by letting them sin against us. If our forgiving rises us to pity, compassion and understanding we can be in a much better place to help a person. However, being a dormat is a different matter all together and requires no courage nor growth in oneself or for those around us.
I often think that the lack of forgiveness (resentment, anger, desire for revenge, etc) can be like drinking poison then waiting for the other person to die.
(I have prayed, "Dear God, “Bless this neighber of mine with a new home, new job and wonderful new friends - elsewhere.” It worked. My neighbor with whom I had argued did find a new home, new job and new friends in another nearby town. Strangely enough, I missed her and when we ran into each other we were always glad to see each other.
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mullenpm
Guest
My original question was meant to ask if it is necessary to continue to interact with a neighbor (within the same apartment building) who spreads vicious and untrue gossip about neighbors (constantly) and has caused almost irreparable damage to the reputations of some.
This person does not need food banks; clothing drives, etc. so physical help is not needed.
I understand the need to pray for them (however difficult that may be); but I don’t believe that actual hate and/or anger, or even a desire for revenge is involved.
Why is not alright to just avoid this person and have no contact with her so as to avoid hearing the gossip and appearing to approve, even though Jesus said to “love thy neighbor”? Walking away and saying “I don’t want to hear that” never works.
This person does not need food banks; clothing drives, etc. so physical help is not needed.
I understand the need to pray for them (however difficult that may be); but I don’t believe that actual hate and/or anger, or even a desire for revenge is involved.
Why is not alright to just avoid this person and have no contact with her so as to avoid hearing the gossip and appearing to approve, even though Jesus said to “love thy neighbor”? Walking away and saying “I don’t want to hear that” never works.
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HelenRose
Guest
To answer directly your question: It depends.
To answer even more directly: You probably know the answer yourself. You will know in your own heart if you are snubbing someone or are simply avoiding a confrontation.
To answer even more directly: You probably know the answer yourself. You will know in your own heart if you are snubbing someone or are simply avoiding a confrontation.
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mullenpm
Guest
HelenRose,
And, what is the difference? Would it not be an occasion of sin to have contact with this person (other than the normal crossing paths in the building). I still do not understand how one is supposed to “love thy neighbor” in this situation and I wish someone could make it clear to me.
And, what is the difference? Would it not be an occasion of sin to have contact with this person (other than the normal crossing paths in the building). I still do not understand how one is supposed to “love thy neighbor” in this situation and I wish someone could make it clear to me.
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HelenRose
Guest
No one can make it clear to you. We do not know the whole story. This is one of those situations that for some reason Christ has placed the question in your heart. “What is my responsibilities toward my neighbor, whom I truly dislike?”HelenRose,
And, what is the difference? Would it not be an occasion of sin to have contact with this person (other than the normal crossing paths in the building). I still do not understand how one is supposed to “love thy neighbor” in this situation and I wish someone could make it clear to me.
Perhaps Christ IS asking you to seek out this person. Perhaps this person is the lost lamb whom Christ is calling and wants you to bring this sinner to Him?
I don’t know the answer to this. It is a question only you in prayer can answer.
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