Love vs true love

[HNA444]

I don’t get how so many people fall in love so easily, but than it also leaves so quickly. From the people i know like this, I feel that they probably thought they loved that person but it wasn’t really love. Or, maybe it was, but not true love. It’s just confusing that if someone were really in love or loved another person, how could it go so quick?

 

[Hecares]

There are many answers to your question. One is that many people think that the rush of emotion they feel at the beginning of a new relationship is love. In reality love is a decision, a commitment. When the emotional rush is gone, they think the relationship is over instead of identifying a situation that needs resolution and hard work.

 

[Mumbles140]

I don’t get how so many people fall in love so easily, but than it also leaves so quickly. From the people i know like this, I feel that they probably thought they loved that person but it wasn’t really love. Or, maybe it was, but not true love. It’s just confusing that if someone were really in love or loved another person, how could it go so quick?

I said “I love you” to one woman, and we are to be wed in June. I said those words after 4 months of dating, with the last 40 of those days spent on opposite sides of the Atlantic. I had dated girls longer than 4 months and never even felt I was falling in love with them. Maybe I wasn’t mature enough at those times, or maybe I just got lucky with this one. Either way, I have a theory - there is no ‘one person destined for everyone’. It’s seen as a literary/cinematic/theatrical device, but there isn’t just one person. I believe love is not about finding perfection, but finding that person worth staying with after an argument; someone worth defending rather than just playing ignorant; someone who is willing to make it work with you.

I’ve known a couple of friends who really wanted to be in love. Granted, this was partially due to the fact that they were in meaningless/short-term relationships and were hanging around with a group of guys who had been in long-term relationships with respected girlfriends. I can’t really help you on those motives since I made sure they counted from the first moment I have said them. That doesn’t mean it has been smooth sailing. We were in a long-distance relationship for almost a year after first saying ‘I love you’ and there were a couple of times we were on the verge of breaking up. So in that respect, I can see how true love (as in actual ‘love’, not the Princess Bride idealist view of ‘true love’) can be followed by a break up. Anyways, I tried giving you some insight - not really sure what thoughts you were looking for.

 

[roseofshannon]

This website :projecteverlasting.com/

is produced by two bachelors who were asking the very same question. They went around the country interviewing couples who were married for 50 years or more and were still happy together to get answers. If you give them your email they will send you 3 free short videos which explain the results.