As I’m sure you have gathered from the responses so far, there is great concern that the term Love, as used in Scripture, be properly defined and understood. It is likely that is the problem in your conversation with your friend.
The best thing to do might be to draw out what his understanding of love is. How does he define it. Then you can begin to explain the Biblical concept of Love as taught by Christ.
The term most often translated as Love in the NT is the Greek, “Agape” and means:
***
brotherly love, affection, good will, love, benevolence ***
As others have pointed out, this kind of Love is wanting the best for others. My guess is that this is not the way that your friend is thinking of Love. His thinking is more “modern” and less spiritual.
However, in looking up
"Love" as defined on "Dictionary.com", the first two definitions of Love are:
1) a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2) a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
It is important to note here that “passionate”, used above, does not equal sexual passion. Sexual attraction is addressed in the third definition.
God calls us to have such “profoundly tender affection” towards others - even those who hate us. Such affection drives out hatred and replaces it with grief and sorrow and pity for the other person who, by their hatred of us, is placing their soul in jeopardy.
We may not be able to sit down and have coffee with these other people, we may not be able to do anything to change their minds, but we can Love them. We can pity them. We pray for them.
I know that much of this might not translate directly to your conversations, but I hope that some of what we are writing will help you. Trying to explain this to others is very difficult but it is also at the very heart of what makes us Christian.
Peace
James
