Loving God

[Scorpio]

No matter how much I pray, attend church or read the bible , I cannot lift the obstinate barrier that’s between me and the love of God. I’ve been tormenting myself for so long now I feel like it’s driving me crazy. The main issue is how can I truly love my creator, when my greatest wish in life is to have never been born ? I do not love myself at all. I’m not saying I’m suicidal (I would hate causing pain and suffering to my family especially my young nephews and nieces), but I honestly wish I’d never existed. This evokes in me feelings of ungratefulness towards God - I never asked to be born. I know it’s shameful and sinful but I can’t help it. Also , for obvious biological reasons, I was created from a sexual union not directly from God how can I be sure that God wanted and approved of my being here. I mean, maybe had there been an important football match the night I was conceived, I wouldn’t be here at all, would I ? I know you’re all thinking I must be nuts and I admit it does sound like that. That’s why I can never be able to express my thoughts face to face with anyone but plucked the courage to post here where no-one knows me personally.

Also, statements of God’s will or plan for our life make me uneasy . I always pray to Him that He tells me what He wants from me, but so far have not had any answer. I sometimes suspect He does not know I exist at all. I’m sorry that my post is nothing but laments but this emptiness I feel is killing me and I have nobody to turn to and also feel ashamed to tell anyone about all this. Please help me if you can . Blessings to All .

 

[marica_mandic]

No matter how much I pray, attend church or read the bible , I cannot lift the obstinate barrier that’s between me and the love of God. I’ve been tormenting myself for so long now I feel like it’s driving me crazy. The main issue is how can I truly love my creator, when my greatest wish in life is to have never been born ? I do not love myself at all. I’m not saying I’m suicidal (I would hate causing pain and suffering to my family especially my young nephews and nieces), but I honestly wish I’d never existed. This evokes in me feelings of ungratefulness towards God - I never asked to be born. I know it’s shameful and sinful but I can’t help it. Also , for obvious biological reasons, I was created from a sexual union not directly from God how can I be sure that God wanted and approved of my being here. I mean, maybe had there been an important football match the night I was conceived, I wouldn’t be here at all, would I ? I know you’re all thinking I must be nuts and I admit it does sound like that. That’s why I can never be able to express my thoughts face to face with anyone but plucked the courage to post here where no-one knows me personally.

Also, statements of God’s will or plan for our life make me uneasy . I always pray to Him that He tells me what He wants from me, but so far have not had any answer. I sometimes suspect He does not know I exist at all. I’m sorry that my post is nothing but laments but this emptiness I feel is killing me and I have nobody to turn to and also feel ashamed to tell anyone about all this. Please help me if you can . Blessings to All .

What you like to do , just a little?
Do you hve fear of life?
We all have part n our lifes where we do not know the purpose of our life.
With positive thinking about self another we can manage too much.

 

[HickmanJosh]

No matter how much I pray, attend church or read the bible , I cannot lift the obstinate barrier that’s between me and the love of God. I’ve been tormenting myself for so long now I feel like it’s driving me crazy. The main issue is how can I truly love my creator, when my greatest wish in life is to have never been born ? I do not love myself at all. I’m not saying I’m suicidal (I would hate causing pain and suffering to my family especially my young nephews and nieces), but I honestly wish I’d never existed. This evokes in me feelings of ungratefulness towards God - I never asked to be born. I know it’s shameful and sinful but I can’t help it. Also , for obvious biological reasons, I was created from a sexual union not directly from God how can I be sure that God wanted and approved of my being here. I mean, maybe had there been an important football match the night I was conceived, I wouldn’t be here at all, would I ? I know you’re all thinking I must be nuts and I admit it does sound like that. That’s why I can never be able to express my thoughts face to face with anyone but plucked the courage to post here where no-one knows me personally.

Also, statements of God’s will or plan for our life make me uneasy . I always pray to Him that He tells me what He wants from me, but so far have not had any answer. I sometimes suspect He does not know I exist at all. I’m sorry that my post is nothing but laments but this emptiness I feel is killing me and I have nobody to turn to and also feel ashamed to tell anyone about all this. Please help me if you can . Blessings to All .

if God did not want you here you wouldn’t exist. That is what gives us value, God created us precisely because he wanted to. It is an amazing thing to know that God wants us to exist and have life to the full with Him.

 

[tskrobacz]

No matter how much I pray, attend church or read the bible , I cannot lift the obstinate barrier that’s between me and the love of God. I’ve been tormenting myself for so long now I feel like it’s driving me crazy. The main issue is how can I truly love my creator, when my greatest wish in life is to have never been born ? I do not love myself at all. I’m not saying I’m suicidal (I would hate causing pain and suffering to my family especially my young nephews and nieces), but I honestly wish I’d never existed. This evokes in me feelings of ungratefulness towards God - I never asked to be born. I know it’s shameful and sinful but I can’t help it. Also , for obvious biological reasons, I was created from a sexual union not directly from God how can I be sure that God wanted and approved of my being here. I mean, maybe had there been an important football match the night I was conceived, I wouldn’t be here at all, would I ? I know you’re all thinking I must be nuts and I admit it does sound like that. That’s why I can never be able to express my thoughts face to face with anyone but plucked the courage to post here where no-one knows me personally.

Also, statements of God’s will or plan for our life make me uneasy . I always pray to Him that He tells me what He wants from me, but so far have not had any answer. I sometimes suspect He does not know I exist at all. I’m sorry that my post is nothing but laments but this emptiness I feel is killing me and I have nobody to turn to and also feel ashamed to tell anyone about all this. Please help me if you can . Blessings to All .

God does not Love you because you are Good, God loves you because God is Good. You will not be successful in Loving God until you discover and Love the God within yourself - the Christ presence. Be patient as more will be revealed as your life unfolds. Be grateful for small things (nature, friends, etc) and you will find insights in unexpected ways.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.

Also see Prov 3:5-6 and apply it to your life!

 

[JRKH]

Scorpio,
Dear One. Your post wounds me in a deep way and I wish that I could reach out to you and hug you and tell you that you are loved…By God and by every person on this board. It’s difficult to know what to say to you or how to help in a very real and practical way since we know so little about you.
But I praise God that you gained the courage to post here. It is a tremendous first step.

Please know that God does indeed want you here. The circumstances of your birth notwithstanding. You are a child of God and this is evident from your yearning for Him.
It is also evident that you have serious self esteem issues - perhaps stemming from some form of abuse as a child etc…and this is why you think you do not love yourself.

But all of God, all that is good is built upon Love. Jesus tells us in Mt 22:36-40 that the two great commandments are based on Love…Love of God and Love of neighbor as ourselves.

And you DO love yourself, and you DO love your neighbor. This is obvious from the fact that you are here and reaching out for help. It is obvious from the fact that you would not consider suicide because of the pain it would cause others. It is obvious from the fact that you continue to pray to God for him to reveal his plan for you. All of this points to how you Love - in spite of the emotional aspect (which you are not feeling).

As I said, it is very difficult to give practical advice. But I think that your great strength and tenacity is something that God is building up in you for some definite purpose.
It could be that His mission for you is to grow past your horrible childhood and to do great work on behalf of others who came from similar situations and feel as you do now.

I know that God seems silent. But He is not. He brought you here to us and he moves us to respond with words of encouragement and advice. All of this is part of God’s answer to you. Take heart dear one…We will not abandon you. We will serve, as best we can, to be God’s instruments for you.

Peace
James

 

[Scorpio]

What you like to do , just a little?
Do you hve fear of life?
We all have part n our lifes where we do not know the purpose of our life.
With positive thinking about self another we can manage too much.

Oh yes I fear my future a lot. I’m particularly afraid of being still here in old age and losing my independence and being lonely.

 

[cho_pilo]

Scorpio,

God invites you to live in the circle of His love. And I believe that’s the safest place in this universe.

 

[Scorpio]

if God did not want you here you wouldn’t exist. That is what gives us value, God created us precisely because he wanted to. It is an amazing thing to know that God wants us to exist and have life to the full with Him.

No offense but this is exactly the right thing to say in the circumstances. But how can I rest my mind that this is the truth when I feel so worthless and insignificant ? It amazes me how much God gave free will to man even in procreation matters.

 

[Scorpio]

This passage from Isaiah 45 describes my feelings perfectly. It seems that I’m sinning by feeling this way… other bible versions read “woe to …” . What does it mean exactly ? How can one feeling this way be condemned ?

9 How horrible it will be for the one who quarrels with his Maker.
He is pottery among other earthenware pots.
Does the clay ask the one who shapes it, “What are you making?”
Does your work say to you, “There are no handles”?

10 How horrible it will be for the one
who says to his father, “Why did you conceive me?”
or to his mother, “Why did you go through labor pains for me?”

 

[cho_pilo]

I would hate causing pain and suffering to my family especially my young nephews and nieces

Simply because you are an uncle. I have never heard an uncle tell his young nephews and nieces, “Happy Birthday! For your birthday, I’m giving you kitchen knives.”

And every uncle wants to protect his nephews and nieces.

I have never heard parents tell their 16-year old daughter, “We want you to study abroad. You’ll study for 4 years in Afghanistan.”

Why does God want to protect you?

Simply because He’s a parent.

And every parent wants to protect her child.

 

[jesuspsr]

Trust me you’re not alone in feeling this way. I know that emptyness so deep in my heart. Most of my life people have told me that i’m the wierdest, strangest, differnt, introvert and what have you. Even today I tend to shy away from people. Just recently I was told; “look at jesus, even in a group of people he can isolate himself” Daily affirmation has helped me alot. I think of the great commandment.

Matthew 22:36-40 (New International Version, ©2011)

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’** 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

I will pray for you to the Holy Spirit for guidence.
God bless

jesus g**

 

[HickmanJosh]

No offense but this is exactly the right thing to say in the circumstances. But how can I rest my mind that this is the truth when I feel so worthless and insignificant ? It amazes me how much God gave free will to man even in procreation matters.

But the worthlessness and insignificance is precisely what is so amazing, Its like if a red giant(star) sacrificing itself to save a colony of ants from destruction, the ants couldn’t possible even begin to comprehend why such a powerful thing would protect them.

There is no rational for this Divine Love then the fact that it defies our worlds logic. yet the world makes no sense otherwise. why would we have the option of rejecting God if he was anything but Love? why would we even be here if he was anything but Love? this Love is fully revealed in the crucified God who endured possibly the worst abuse imaginable under the hands of men to free us and reveal to us his incomprehensible Love.

“Do not be afraid, because each of us is the result of a thought of God, each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary.” - Pope Benedict XVI

 

[Scorpio]

I’d appreciate if you could quote the source of this statement. Thanks a lot. Blessings xxx

 

[Scorpio]

Scorpio,
Dear One. Your post wounds me in a deep way and I wish that I could reach out to you and hug you and tell you that you are loved…By God and by every person on this board. It’s difficult to know what to say to you or how to help in a very real and practical way since we know so little about you.
But I praise God that you gained the courage to post here. It is a tremendous first step.

Please know that God does indeed want you here. The circumstances of your birth notwithstanding. You are a child of God and this is evident from your yearning for Him.
It is also evident that you have serious self esteem issues - perhaps stemming from some form of abuse as a child etc…and this is why you think you do not love yourself.

But all of God, all that is good is built upon Love. Jesus tells us in Mt 22:36-40 that the two great commandments are based on Love…Love of God and Love of neighbor as ourselves.

And you DO love yourself, and you DO love your neighbor. This is obvious from the fact that you are here and reaching out for help. It is obvious from the fact that you would not consider suicide because of the pain it would cause others. It is obvious from the fact that you continue to pray to God for him to reveal his plan for you. All of this points to how you Love - in spite of the emotional aspect (which you are not feeling).

As I said, it is very difficult to give practical advice. But I think that your great strength and tenacity is something that God is building up in you for some definite purpose.
It could be that His mission for you is to grow past your horrible childhood and to do great work on behalf of others who came from similar situations and feel as you do now.

I know that God seems silent. But He is not. He brought you here to us and he moves us to respond with words of encouragement and advice. All of this is part of God’s answer to you. Take heart dear one…We will not abandon you. We will serve, as best we can, to be God’s instruments for you.

Peace
James

Yes, I’ve been hurt a lot as a child and grew up thinking that I did not matter to God. Observing the commandment to honor my father and mother is a struggle for me. I hate the fact that they brought me into this world it’s so selfish. It’s hard work to be a good christian . I hope and pray to become closer to God and to learn to trust him etc. but it’s not easy. Hope I’m not annoying you to much. Blessings xxx

 

[JRKH]

Yes, I’ve been hurt a lot as a child and grew up thinking that I did not matter to God. Observing the commandment to honor my father and mother is a struggle for me. I hate the fact that they brought me into this world it’s so selfish. It’s hard work to be a good christian . I hope and pray to become closer to God and to learn to trust him etc. but it’s not easy. Hope I’m not annoying you to much. Blessings xxx

Dear one,
You are not annoying me at all…I only wish I had better words to offer.
I do see that others have been providing things that are helpful. For that I am very glad.

You are right. It is indeed difficult to be a good christian.
Belonging to Christ is major league stuff and it requires our best efforts always.
It’s obvious that you have some major stuff to work through and get past.
And the funny thing is that some or much of it is stuff that we just have to learn to “let go of”.
It sounds so simple, like dropping something into the trash, but I know it isn’t. Our past keeps popping up (I have a past of my own…). Yet the core truths always seem to be the hardest simple things to do.
Just let go…Love God and neighbor…
You know, simple things, but oh so hard to live out.

It took me a long time to really “just let go” and even now things from my past come back to haunt me…But at least I’ve come to terms with them.
Keep praying. Spend time before the tabernacle if you can. Take communion as often as possible.
And remember that we are here.

Peace
James

 

[Edward_H]

No offense but this is exactly the right thing to say in the circumstances. But how can I rest my mind that this is the truth when I feel so worthless and insignificant ? It amazes me how much God gave free will to man even in procreation matters.

Scorpio, God gave YOU free will because He had WORK for you to do. He had LOVE for you to do. Somewhere down the road, maybe next Tuesday, maybe 5 years from now, God will give you an opportunity, or maybe many small opportunities to give, to love, to struggle a bit for others. To solve little, maybe big, problems for some others.

That’s why you’re here. You’ve got some useful work ahead…maybe a smile to give someone else - especially when you don’t feel like it that day…but you’e going to do it, because God will move you to correspond to His Will.

 

[marica_mandic]

Oh yes I fear my future a lot. I’m particularly afraid of being still here in old age and losing my independence and being lonely.

Fear comes from devil.He want that you have angst. Pray God and think how can he help you, how can Jesus help you in your problems. He want ro help you he do not want that you become in influence from devil. Think that Jesus love you,you are not alone, Jesus is with you,think about today how God has all us in His hands, and he need our faith he will help you , do not think that everything is terrible, then will be everything terrible. thing abou Jesus, go to church, have a faith in Jesus, read just a little New Testament each day.Be in army of Jesus.

 

[HickmanJosh]

I’d appreciate if you could quote the source of this statement. Thanks a lot. Blessings xxx

 

[Edward_H]

I’d appreciate if you could quote the source of this statement. Thanks a lot. Blessings xxx

Looks like from:

Pope Benedict XVI, Homily of His Holiness Benedict XVI at the Inaugural Mass at the beginning of his Pontificate held at St. Peter’s Square on 24 April 2005.

“We are not some casual and meaningless product of evolution. Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary.”

 

[Monica4316]

No matter how much I pray, attend church or read the bible , I cannot lift the obstinate barrier that’s between me and the love of God. I’ve been tormenting myself for so long now I feel like it’s driving me crazy. The main issue is how can I truly love my creator, when my greatest wish in life is to have never been born ? I do not love myself at all. I’m not saying I’m suicidal (I would hate causing pain and suffering to my family especially my young nephews and nieces), but I honestly wish I’d never existed. This evokes in me feelings of ungratefulness towards God - I never asked to be born. I know it’s shameful and sinful but I can’t help it. Also , for obvious biological reasons, I was created from a sexual union not directly from God how can I be sure that God wanted and approved of my being here. I mean, maybe had there been an important football match the night I was conceived, I wouldn’t be here at all, would I ? I know you’re all thinking I must be nuts and I admit it does sound like that. That’s why I can never be able to express my thoughts face to face with anyone but plucked the courage to post here where no-one knows me personally.

Also, statements of God’s will or plan for our life make me uneasy . I always pray to Him that He tells me what He wants from me, but so far have not had any answer. I sometimes suspect He does not know I exist at all. I’m sorry that my post is nothing but laments but this emptiness I feel is killing me and I have nobody to turn to and also feel ashamed to tell anyone about all this. Please help me if you can . Blessings to All .

Hi,

It seems you’re in a lot of pain over this… one question, do you trust God? A lot of these sorts of problems can be resolved through trust.

I guarantee if you are alive God wanted you to be born.

Try to think of the reasons God would have wanted you to be born… no matter how difficult this life is, He created us to know Him, to have the joy of knowing Him. If you have not experienced that joy, try to just believe in it. Trust Him

A good book is “Consoling the Heart of Jesus” by Fr Michael Gaitley it might be helpful…

God bless!!