Loving my fellow man

[Aquinas62]

This is a hard subject for me, I find it very hard to “love my fellow man”. It is hard for me to do this in the abstract. It is easy for me to love people once I get to know them, I feel compassion when I see suffering, but to “love” people in general, is very hard for me. For example, when I hear a member of the NBP party calling for black men to kill cracker babies, I feel anger and hatred right back at them. I really would like to “feel the love” so they say. I have had previous negative experiences in my younger years which formulated some of my current feelings. Please don’t condemn me, I do like individuals, it is “groups” I don’t like. I am asking for help in how to overcome this internal bias I have.

 

[JRKH]

You are in a very common struggle. It can be very difficult to “Love” others sometimes.

The first thing to do is to understand what Godly Love is. In other words what sort of Love are we called to?

To Love as God Loves, we must desire the highest good for another. That highest good is that they make it to heaven and are not condemned to hell. When we see and hear people such as the one you mention in your post, we can become very angry. But then what, or who, are we agrey with? Do we hate the person, or do we hate what they said?
If we hate the person then we do not wish them to be saved and we have failed at love.
If we hate what they said, then we can pray for their conversion and salvation.
As an example, I drive by a “Family Planning” location quite regularly. I have developed a small prayer that I say each time I pass. It goes, “Heavenly Father, Protect the innocent. Convict and convert the guilty.” It’s quick, to the point and hopes for the good of all, even those who are currently doing evil.

Just keep in mind that, even though a person is lost in evil, we must still hope for their salvation just as we hope for our own salvation. (Love others as we Love ourselves)

Peace
James

 

[Feanor2]

This is a hard subject for me, I find it very hard to “love my fellow man”. It is hard for me to do this in the abstract. It is easy for me to love people once I get to know them, I feel compassion when I see suffering, but to “love” people in general, is very hard for me. For example, when I hear a member of the NBP party calling for black men to kill cracker babies, I feel anger and hatred right back at them. I really would like to “feel the love” so they say. I have had previous negative experiences in my younger years which formulated some of my current feelings. Please don’t condemn me, I do like individuals, it is “groups” I don’t like. I am asking for help in how to overcome this internal bias I have.

There are no “groups” only individuals. This is what is causing you problems.

People are jerks. . . period. When you feel yourself thinking of groups think of this.

It sounds like you are struggling with prejudice or racism. I have overcome feelings I had as a child and millions of people do.

 

[Aquinas62]

There are no “groups” only individuals. This is what is causing you problems.

People are jerks. . . period. When you feel yourself thinking of groups think of this.

It sounds like you are struggling with prejudice or racism. I have overcome feelings I had as a child and millions of people do.

I agree with you, but public policy is constantly formulated to pander to “groups” while taking the individual out of the equation. I think that is where my problem lies.

 

[Feanor2]

I agree with you, but public policy is constantly formulated to pander to “groups” while taking the individual out of the equation. I think that is where my problem lies.

Politics will always have it’s problems because it is for the lawless and designed by fallen man.

We can only account for ourselves. Of course this is easier said than done. Pray about it. I am sure you are already doing this though.

It’s a goo thing to bring it up here.

 

[JohnDamian]

None of us are perfect.

However remember these four whenever you are worried or upset at a person or group;

St Paul, who held coats for people whilst they stoned Stephen - converted through the love of God.

St Augustine, who lived a life seperate from God - convered through the love of St Monica.

St Thomas, who denied the apostles - reunited with the faith through the love of Jesus

St Peter, who denied Christ thrice on the night he was betrayed - forgiven through the love of God.

Also , on the subject of groups;

Remember the Good Samaritain; who despite his group nonetheless served to be good.

Also remember Joseph of Arimathea was a Pharisee who were generally condemned;

And even the disliked Roman invaders Centurian declared that Jesus was “Truly this man was the Son of God” in the book of Mark.

So we cannot judge by group or by individuals wholly; and we should love our fellow man.

 

[alitaptap]

This is a hard subject for me, I find it very hard to “love my fellow man”. It is hard for me to do this in the abstract. It is easy for me to love people once I get to know them, I feel compassion when I see suffering, but to “love” people in general, is very hard for me. For example, when I hear a member of the NBP party calling for black men to kill cracker babies, I feel anger and hatred right back at them. I really would like to “feel the love” so they say. I have had previous negative experiences in my younger years which formulated some of my current feelings. Please don’t condemn me, I do like individuals, it is “groups” I don’t like. I am asking for help in how to overcome this internal bias I have.

Real Love has very little to do with the other person. A loving person can love because he is a loving person, not because the other person is lovable.

 

[JRKH]

None of us are perfect.

However remember these four whenever you are worried or upset at a person or group;

St Paul, who held coats for people whilst they stoned Stephen - converted through the love of God.

St Augustine, who lived a life seperate from God - convered through the love of St Monica.

St Thomas, who denied the apostles - reunited with the faith through the love of Jesus

St Peter, who denied Christ thrice on the night he was betrayed - forgiven through the love of God.

Also , on the subject of groups;

Remember the Good Samaritain; who despite his group nonetheless served to be good.

Also remember Joseph of Arimathea was a Pharisee who were generally condemned;

And even the disliked Roman invaders Centurian declared that Jesus was “Truly this man was the Son of God” in the book of Mark.

So we cannot judge by group or by individuals wholly; and we should love our fellow man.

Real Love has very little to do with the other person. A loving person can love because he is a loving person, not because the other person is lovable.

Both of these Posts are right on the Mark…

Peace
James

 

[GratefulFred]

My mother acknowledged that she strongly disliked people from a certain Western European country. She told my sister and me that her dislike was wrong but she had it. She taught us that the right way was to judge EACH person on how they treated us personally. That no one is perfect. It matters only how they treat us on a one to one basis.

So my sister and I grew up not hating any particular group. Occassionally we do meet individuals we don’t like or don’t like us. If we cannot find a way to improve the relation, we simply move away from it rather than continue contact that is detrimental to both sides.

I recall a line from “Steel Magnolias” where the lady said, “I’ve been in a foul mood for 40 years.” She thought herself a good person but had been unable to get past an insult or some bad thing that happened 40 years earlier. My point is that I think most people are good. But what we see of them is their RESPONSE to some wrong they have suffered. If I had the same path in life they have, how would I respond?

It is easy to say how I would like to repsond, given the path I have traveled, but I first need to really connect with their path before I can begin to assess my real response. We all have been angry at one time or another. There, but for the Grace of God go I.

So it is easier for me to have empathy for those who act in ways that I dislike without actually disliking them. It is easier for me to pray for their conversion to better behavior. I may not be the one to actually work with them on that, but I can pray for them.

As for groups: I find it next to impossible to hate a group although I, like many, served in the military and fought against certain foreign groups. I was fighting for Freedom and Justice, not to pulverize some group somebody hated and I was supposed to hate too. But I can understand, in the heat of combat, where death is occuring and mine or my buddies’ death could be imminent that, at that moment, I could hate as a survival instinct.

But as for cultural or political groups in America, there is no reason to “hate” in my view. Yes we do have different ways but different is basically OK. Yes, particular individuals do hate and they sometimes gather into groups to feed that hate. BUT they do not represent the larger group they are also a part of.

The only true antidote to hate is LOVE. Enough LOVE long enough overpowers hate. This is what Christ taught. It is what I believe and TRY to do in my daily life.

Pray for increase in Wisdom and the strength to do God’s Will. Not our Will, but God’s Will be done.