Loving Who You Are

  • Thread starter Thread starter PelagiathePenit
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
P

PelagiathePenit

Guest
I’m a very sensitive person. I compensate by cold-shouldering and acting like a wall of granite. I can laugh at almost anything but on the flip I can cry about anything. Movies, books. I am the most humble when I cry. I literally cannot stop crying. Things hurt me deeply. I cannot say goodbye to people without bawling. Some people find my very emotional personality annoying or they lose patience. I am easy to read as well, again good and bad. I have always been made fun by family and friends, no offense, especially my father. I love him but he can be too critical. He has always hated my crying. He does not like anyone crying for too long. I do not think I have any sort of mental disorder, at least I hope. I always beat myself for getting hurt. Now people complain I do not open up enough. Some people have only seen me cry twice or three times since knowing me for years. Little do they know. I leave to cry in the bathroom to very sad movies. I feel so weak when I cry. I have had a sheltered, good life. The worst thing that has ever happened to me is parents divorcing. I am still very green. I have not had anyone particularly close to me die yet THANK GOD. I have never lived in poverty. To some I am a privileged, naive, even spoiled. I have academic intelligence but what do I know about the real world? How can I survive it if the littlest of things hurt me so deeply. I can radiate joy too. I usually only show people this side. I feel so ashamed of who I really am.
 
I feel just like you sometimes
I’m very good at holding back emotions to the point where I think some people assume I’m a emotionless comedian

I’m in a sinful addiction that is secret
Shame,loneliness,not feeling understood,feeling trapped, becoming frustrated with life,ect
Builds up on me
I cry away from sight because I fear embarrassment
I never used to cry at anything even if it felt like I needed too I didn’t because out if fear of embarrassment
I cry a lot now usually after I fail and sin

At Mass I feel guilty to be in God’s house and hear songs that relate to me I practically hold it in all mass

I hope I can help you out
It’s not weak to cry and when God sees you cry he holds your heart
The devil plays with my heart and I’m going through the easily worst part of my life
(I’m 15 and male)
You can PM me if you think I can help you
Who knows maybe we can help each other
Force a smile for me today and I hope you feel happier
 
My family does not know any of this about me.
Feel more confident posting away about my life online
than talking to folks in person
Half my life is posted away online
I think I fear intimacy
 
PelagiathePenit said:
My family does not know any of this about me.
Feel more confident posting away about my life online
than talking to folks in person
Half my life is posted away online
I think I fear intimacy
Click to expand...
Get offline and see a therapist.
 
pianistclare said:
Get offline and see a therapist.
Click to expand...
She may need that, or just to come to terms with who she is.

OP, maybe the parental divorce affected you more than you let on?

In any case, there is nothing wrong with being highly emotional.

ICXC NIKA
 
At first I thought PianistClare’s reply was abrupt, but upon further reflection I can see two reasons that you should consider it well.

First, online forums are a very poor resource for personal advice or help. They really can’t come close to the level of communication and understanding that you could obtain by talking in the same room with a live person who has training, credentials, and experience helping people like yourself.

Second, it seems to me that you are not far from peace and happiness. You said it yourself, you “have had a sheltered, good life.” That is a great place to start. Also from reading your posts for a while now, it seems to me that you are thoughtful and are thinking about the right sorts of things, like how to live with faith and virtue, and how to treat others well. I have a feeling that with the right kind of support and counseling, you could overcome your anxieties, develop greater resilience, and really love yourself as you are. And you are lovable!

Having said that online therapy stinks, may I now pry into your personal matters? 😃 Do you live by yourself or with a parent? You mentioned that your father can be too critical, and if you are living with him, that poses a major challenge. I’m not in a position to give sound advice on that, but it’s the sort of thing a therapist could perhaps help with.
 
Beryllos said:
At first I thought PianistClare’s reply was abrupt, but upon further reflection I can see two reasons that you should consider it well.

First, online forums are a very poor resource for personal advice or help. They really can’t come close to the level of communication and understanding that you could obtain by talking in the same room with a live person who has training, credentials, and experience helping people like yourself.

Second, it seems to me that you are not far from peace and happiness. You said it yourself, you “have had a sheltered, good life.” That is a great place to start. Also from reading your posts for a while now, it seems to me that you are thoughtful and are thinking about the right sorts of things, like how to live with faith and virtue, and how to treat others well. I have a feeling that with the right kind of support and counseling, you could overcome your anxieties, develop greater resilience, and really love yourself as you are. And you are lovable!

Having said that online therapy stinks, may I now pry into your personal matters? 😃 Do you live by yourself or with a parent? You mentioned that your father can be too critical, and if you are living with him, that poses a major challenge. I’m not in a position to give sound advice on that, but it’s the sort of thing a therapist could perhaps help with.
Click to expand...
Exactly. I was posting from my phone, so the brevity, but seriously.
OP:
There’s no shame in speaking with someone, even your regular physician about this.
Together you can decide if this “sensitivity” level is crippling, and that would be the issue and discussion point.
Best wishes!
 
May you all be filled with loving kindness. May you all be well. May you all be peaceful and at ease. May you all be happy.
 
PelagiathePenit said:
My family does not know any of this about me.
Feel more confident posting away about my life online
than talking to folks in person
Half my life is posted away online
I think I fear intimacy
Click to expand...
Your parents know more about you than you think.

You don’t have to journal online. You can do it privately. One day you will outgrow your current state and may not want people to hold your past against you.

It takes most people many years to accept/harness their gifts and use them for good. Accept yourself for who you are, you don’t have to love it.
 
You know who you remind me of, OP? A very young St. Therese of Lisieux. 🙂

… obviously, not in every particular of your post here, but there’s similarities in terms of temperament. Have you read her Story of a Soul? If not, you should get to know her.

God was able to channel all of her temperament to be a glorious and beautiful Saint, and of course He can do the same for us. Our temperament can be molded into great sanctity, no matter its nature. And all of its aspects can be built upon by grace to love God in a purely personal way, one no one else can match.

For an example from St. Therese, when she was little, she would just love getting kisses. Kiss me, Papa! Little brat. 🙂

But God took that desire to be loved and to be kissed and held and cuddled, and turned it into an incredible intimacy that St. Therese was able to experience with Him.

Grace always builds on nature.
 
You perhaps need to adjust your expectations of life. As Thomas a Kempis says, we should not expect any real peace in this life. The life of this world is short, everything passes.

Our real joy consists of the hope of Heaven. The only real thing to worry about is its loss, or eternal damnation.

To everything you see, everything you experience, say “This is dust. Nothing lasts more than a day.”

Pass through the world as an exile, a pilgrim, like an exile away from home, like a prisoner serving a short sentence- nothing in this world should generate hope, or fear. It just dust arranging itself in different patterns.

Prayer the Rosary. At the end of each Rosary, whatever anxiety you felt will be less. Direct all your true emotions to love of Christ and the Virgin. Treat everything else with indifferent charity and patience.
 
Hello

I don’t know how open you are to learning from different faiths, but there is a Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron, who writes extensively on compassion for self and others. She teaches that in order to have compassion for others we must first learn to have compassion for ourselves (if we have no patience for faults in ourself then we are likely to have little patience for those same faults in others). If this rings tru then I’d recommend her book ‘Start where you are. A guide to compassionate living’. I think it is a book that fits very nicely wi the teachings of Jesus.

But, applying the old adage ‘talk what is useful and leave what is not’, please feel free to ignore this if it doesn’t sound your type of thing.

God bless +

Michael
 
Don’t hate yourself! I think you’re a huge sweetheart. If it really bothers you, you can see a therapist. But please don’t hate yourself for this
 
Polyphony said:
You know who you remind me of, OP? A very young St. Therese of Lisieux. 🙂

… obviously, not in every particular of your post here, but there’s similarities in terms of temperament. Have you read her Story of a Soul? If not, you should get to know her.

God was able to channel all of her temperament to be a glorious and beautiful Saint, and of course He can do the same for us. Our temperament can be molded into great sanctity, no matter its nature. And all of its aspects can be built upon by grace to love God in a purely personal way, one no one else can match.

For an example from St. Therese, when she was little, she would just love getting kisses. Kiss me, Papa! Little brat. 🙂

But God took that desire to be loved and to be kissed and held and cuddled, and turned it into an incredible intimacy that St. Therese was able to experience with Him.

Grace always builds on nature.
Click to expand...
Haha
I have read about her
I see similarities.
I know I am melancholic.
I just do not like it.
 
Pelagia,

I hope you will grow more confident in your memories and gain skill in downsizing the significance attached to the opinion of certain people that have been influential.

I’ve been praying (Our Fathers) that this will happen unseen and untought about, while you’re asleep or thinking about something completely different 😉

You have described very good qualities indeed.

What is meant by “suffering” is of many kinds and I hope you will respect yourself for handling those you’ve had, as well as you have done, even though others aren’t respecting it.

May God prepare us to handle well what comes next in life!
 
Consider this article :

Do You Want To Be Happy ?** **
Code: 
  Sections:
  Levels of Happiness, or Methods of Seeking Happiness
  What  Makes  You  Important ?
  What is Love ?
  Happiness  in  Relationships
  True  Freedom
  Suffering and Justice
  Who  Are  Your  Heroes ?
.
 
Vic_Taltrees_UK said:
John, the article only mentions suffering near the end and denies suffering that is imposed on us by others near the beginning of our lives.
Click to expand...
Thanks Vic.

**I made a mistake of writing only from a presumed context. **
So, I corrected the following statement as follows:

Original statement:
**Those individuals operating in level two will only undergo suffering in order to attain their own goals of promoting themselves. **

Fixed:
**Those individuals operating in level two will only volunteer to undergo suffering in order to attain their own goals of promoting themselves. **

I also added the following which will hopefully also clarify and help:

This article addresses the subject of suffering from the very limited context. For more about suffering see following (but even this link below is not a systematic treatment about all suffering) :

www.defendingthebride.com/misc.html#suf

Please feel free to send any more corrections.
Thanks,

**.
**
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top