Loving your enemy

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Dear friends

I recently faced a re-possession order on my home. It was a difficult time and moreover than that, the temptation to hate the people who were hoping to achieve this was immense.

I prayed alot during this time and as I found the cash to stop the possession order and clear my name and keep my home, I deeply reflected on how I would conduct myself on going to their offices to deal with this matter. I reflected how Jesus viewed these people and how He would treat them. Indeed how Jesus would treat anyone who would hurt Him.

I also saw parallels between losing everything you have built and those in the Tsunami who have lost more than I can ever imagine, which made my possible loss seem so much more insignificant. I decided to treat those people who had in all respect been heartless towards my family with utmost respect, love and kindness.

This was very hard, but I found it disarmed those people quite quickly and they were shocked and then were more than kind back to me as I paid the money they required and my home and life once more became stable. The look on one woman’s face will stay with me forever , she was obviously deeply touched by the kindness I gave her and disliked the whole situation. I told her she had helped me and thank you at the end and she couldn’t make eye contact with me…I am not totally sure why, but I know I did her life a good that day and I know that this thing my family went through has also done us good. As we know, God brings good out of every single situation.

My question to all of you, is how do you love your enemy/ enemies?

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa
 
This challenge struck me after the events of 9-11. Considering terrorists, how do we love them? I’ve been able to pray for them, but love? Or am I going over the edge here because I’ve never actually met any of them, personally (that I know of, anyway).

Can offering prayers be considered love?
 
love is an action, not just a feeling. praying for someone is one of the highest forms of love you can achieve.

when we are commanded to love our enemies, that doesn’t mean we are to have warm, tender feelings for them. it means that, even when we would RATHER wish their harm, we pray for, and work for, their blessing and salvation.

like when someone stole my cd player out of my car. i prayed that God would bless whoever it was. i was very, very angry with them. but i chose to love them by praying for them, for their good.
 
There is a most beautiful parable written by Hannah Hurnard, called Hinds Feet on High Places, that depicts the spiritual journey in a wonderful way.From the beginning when Miss Much-Afraid desired with all her heart to follow the Shepherd and pasture with Him on the high places, she was utterly disappointed when she found that the two companions the Shepherd gave her for her journey were Suffering and Sorrow. She tried so hard to shed them and refuse their guidance, believing that they were a hindrance to following her Beloved.

Many inopportune turns on the road finally enabled her to appreciate their presence. One of the hardest phases in the beginning of her journey was the sudden turn to the desert, which seemed in her eyes to lead away from the high places.

She came upon a lone yellow flower in the vast sea of scorching sand. It was clinging desperately to an old pipe from which occasionally fell a single drop of water. Much-Afraid saw the joy in the flower’s eyes as it gazed towards heaven, and marvelled about it as she asked the flower how it came there.

This was not her doing, the flower replied, but was the result of wrong actions of others who caused her to come there. In spite of their cruelty and disregard for her, she said it was her joy to raise her love to heaven and sing praise, even in this horrible place. When Much-Afraid asked her name, she replied, “Acceptance with Joy!”

The Shepherd explained to Much-Afraid that this was one of the ABC’s to learn on the road: that every sorrow and suffering that was permitted to happen to her by others must be joyfully accepted and overcome with love.

I’m paraphrasing much of this from memory, for my book is up north at my home. But I think it fits the topic chosen by Teresa. The end of the story is so beautiful, I won’t spoil it for those who haven’t read it yet. You have to get the book to learn more about the true identity of “Suffering” and “Sorrow.”

Peace be with all who suffer.
 
Dear Joysong

I have never read the book your are referring to but after your synopsis of it, I will be reading it!

I can’t remember which saint said this…‘where there is no love, put some’ or words similar to that, maybe someone with more knowledge can expand on that for me. This phrase also fits with suffering, enemies etc. I also honestly think that sometimes people are not always aware that their actions or words are causing suffering or hardship to another and to respond in love may make them think again.

Thank you all for your beautiful responses

God Bless you and much love and peace to you all

Teresa
 
When I am faced with a situation that challenges me to a higher degree of likeness to Christ I remember this phrase.

In persecution Christians rejoiced knowing that by forgiving power was added to their prayers.
 
HI Roses, I love roses and so does my wife. 😉 Yes loving your enemy is impossible without the help of the Holy Spirit,BUT Jesus does tell us to love them. I guess a way to look at it is in the book of ephesians ch 6. Our battles are not against flesh and blood but against the principalities of darkness,the evil spirits from the regions above.We are to love the person but hate the sin. I have had people in my life that before I was a christian I hated them, But now with the help of the Holy Spirit some of them have become very good friends of mine. So all things are possible through Jesus Christ who strenghtens me. As christians we are to be Christlike and walk in love to everyone we meet.Let that be our prayer that we can all walk in the Love of Jesus Christ. God Bless
 
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SPOKENWORD:
HI Roses, I love roses and so does my wife. 😉 Yes loving your enemy is impossible without the help of the Holy Spirit,BUT Jesus does tell us to love them. I guess a way to look at it is in the book of ephesians ch 6. Our battles are not against flesh and blood but against the principalities of darkness,the evil spirits from the regions above.We are to love the person but hate the sin. I have had people in my life that before I was a christian I hated them, But now with the help of the Holy Spirit some of them have become very good friends of mine. So all things are possible through Jesus Christ who strenghtens me. As christians we are to be Christlike and walk in love to everyone we meet.Let that be our prayer that we can all walk in the Love of Jesus Christ. God Bless
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Dearest Spokenword and wife 😃

Nothing posted on this forum has ever been more true than what you have posted as quoted above.

I have often thought that people have been instruments of evil just as people are instruments of God. I suppose when we sin we are an instrument of evil and when we refrain and battle against sin and strive to love and live a life in Christ , to become each passing day more Christ-like, we are an instrument of God and therefore of good. So just as it is possible for those to be an instrument of evil it is equally possible that they are then also able to be instruments of God, by His grace. This is why we should love all as no person is devoid of being an instrument of God. No person is totally of evil, all are of God and it is free will which we choose to have predominance in us, God or evil. BUT none are without God and therefore all have Christ in them and all should be loved as such whether we deem them as friend or enemy!!!.

Again you are right when you say no-one can do this without the Holy Spirit, no prayer can even be raised from the depths of the human heart without the Holy Spirit aiding that soul. To live a Christ-like life is also due to the interaction of the Holy Spirit and God the Father drawing that soul to Himself, in, by and through Christ Jesus, who is the door, the way and the light to God and everlasting life.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you and those you love always.

Teresa
 
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you became angry about losing your house.

Anger is a big problem. Just try looking around at all the books on anger management and the therapy that has become popular for it.

Of course I get angry, and everybody gets angry. It’s hard to predict how much anger will well up in someone. We all have to be careful with strangers especially for this reason.

There are Biblical accounts of anger and its outcomes. Cain killed Abel. And, later on, Saul was chasing David out of anger, fear, jealousy, and a lot of other reasons. Saul was the perhaps the original guy who fell on his sword to kill himself. Anger can do that.

I know that I have angered my enemies simply by being right and being persistently right. I have outlived them all, in the career sense and even literally.

You have learned to channel anger into constructive action and that is a tremendous first step.

Humility is more than handy, it’s required. I walked into the college registration office once to change a class. I astonished them by admitting right off that I had signed up for the wrong class. They were astonished because everyone walked in and always accused them of making the mistakes in registration. That’s due to something called ‘projection.’

Humility is also required because we may not even realize that we made a mistake, etc. “…forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us…”

Even laughter helps, because if we can just get over the crisis, we will be at equilibrium and even happy, again.

Prayer is extremely important for a Christian.

And, last but not least, don’t forget that you are a sinner. keep that constantly in mind. We may be blinded by the glare of others’ sins, but we should thereby not be blinded to our own sins.

Thanks. We will never outgrow our need to forgive others. And, there is so much good that we may be doing by being the example of forgiveness.

And, there are techniques, too. Learn and negotiate with your enemy “to put this behind us.” “Can we put this behind us and get on?”
 
Detachment helps. I pray first for emotional detachment from the situation. Then, I try to look at the situation for the other POV. Most people are operating from their own pain. So then I’ll try and empathise with them and pray for them, without any expectations of anything in return.

Hating people only hurts the hater, I think. So, from the purely selfish POV it pays off to detach from the situation, and pray for those who despitfully use you. 🙂
 
Boy oh boy, it’s hard to be a Christian when it isn’t convenient, isn’t it?
 
I’m in my middle seventies and I was thinking that some of you might like to see what helped me over the span of my life to love my enemy, my ‘supposed’ enemy.

I need to first say that every helpful thing I learned about this subject came from the teachings of the Church through priests.

The Mass and the sacraments, especially the Eucharist and confession, have always been essential for me, as is being immersed in the Word of God through being formed by the Words of Jesus in the Gospel.

One particular bit of magnificent advice came from a pastor of mine.

I told him about an acquaintance of mine that seemed to go out of her way to slander me, accusing me of one untrue thing after another. She talked about me behind my back. I could go on but I think you all get the point as many of you may have or had similar experiences.

Anyway, first Fr. John told me to do my best to always see and love Jesus in everyone, family, friend, stranger, even a supposed ‘enemy’.

“Whatever you do to the least, you do to me”.

This was one of the major gifts I ever received. I knew almost instantly that this was the pathway to true holiness and Fr. John confirmed it for me.

For days and days, every person I saw, was in a particular way Jesus Himself to be loved until it became ‘second nature’, or maybe ‘first nature’ would be better.

Eventually I did again meet people I was unable to love. I sincerely tried to love Jesus in them but I couldn’t. No dialog was possible.

I wrote to Fr. John for advice again and he said that there are times for all of us when the only way to love some people…is to avoid them if this would be possible.

I’ve had to do this with a few people but I honestly don’t like to…it seems so sad and divisive; but Fr. John was right and I knew it.

Another time I wrote to Fr. John because of a particular person who is very rude and I believe, very hateful to me and a few others.

With his wisdom and great love for me, he said, "there are also times when we have to simply bear wrongs patiently and entrust those persons to the love of the Holy Spirit who alone can warm their hearts.

Again, or should I say, as usual, he was right. I always had peace of soul and it was easy to pray for them and myself as well.

Bearing wrongs patiently really strengthened me, enabling me to love my neighbor in an always deeper way.

There were and still are times when I feel like God is asking too much of me.

I tell Him, “Lord…look at me…see how old and tired and ill I am. Please help me. I can’t deal with this suffering much longer.”

Many times it’s at these moments of sincere humility that God allows, me in a certain sense, to be consoled by resting in His very Heart.

After I have been strengthened by this profound love, I realize He has given a renewed energy to continue to strive for holiness.

His love, mercyand forgiveness towards me, helps me see the love, mercy and forgiveness I need to have for my brothers and sisters.

Fr. John agrees.

Maria
 
thank you for that beautiful post, 1 maria. your wisdom is refreshing, and much needed. would that we all listened to you.

God bless.
 
This is a great thread and I am finding very helpful. Bitterness seems to be my particular problematic and recurring sin. I fight this daily. While I pray daily for those who have hurt me deeply, this is a real battle for me.

The Holy Spirit and Our Blessed Mother have helped greatly with this, but it is a daily problem for me.

Thanks for sharing.
 
I confessed sins saying I hate my enemies. I am a soldier US Army and I have a hard saying I dont hate everyone of the sacrean horde of moslem sand nazis. Now I pray for them, but I have a hard time saying that I wouldnt be happy tommorw if the middle east erupted in flames. Its hard its a long journey. And I’m not there yet and I just pray that the lord will help me in defeating our enemies and that peace will be granted to our world.
 
I thought you all might like to a small experience of mine relating to how difficult it can still be for me to go beyond my human nature in order to love a ‘neighbor’.

Anyway, some time ago I had a very beautiful experience that again showed me the power of God’s love for us and how through us His love can go to others if we sincerely love them.

At a neighborhood store we have gone to for some time, the cashier has been getting more and more rude to people to the point where I didn’t want to have anything to do with her. I felt like she really enjoyed talking down to me and my husband.

We chose to find another place to get what we needed but it was raining quite hard that day so we went to the same place again.

I decided that if she went into her same old pattern I would tell her that we wouldn’t be back anymore because of her rude behavior… I even planned how I would say it and went over it in my mind a few times.

I actually felt really good about it.

When I approached the counter, I realized that I was no longer going over what I would say but instead I was thinking about something I had read about our blessed Mother in my morning meditation.

I had read that Mary is the transparency of God. I know that in some way we are called to re-live Mary by, in a sense, bringing Jesus to the world.

In that moment I knew that God had given me the grace to go beyond my now little hurt in order to love Jesus in this woman whether she was rude or not.

What she said stunned me. She looked at me and said, “I think you know something the rest of the world doesn’t know”.

I smiled and asked her why she thought that. She replied, “Everybody knows what a crabby old lady I am, but in spite of that you keep being nice to me”. Then she said, “No matter how nasty I am, you always bring a little sunshine into my life.”

Maria
 
Dear All

Thank you Maria. I always think that if someone is behaving badly in some way it is as a result of their life, something happening in it, something causing them to be nasty and hurtful.

Like you, I go to a store and I always smile at the woman who serves me and she never smiles back, is always miserable and always rude. Then I realised just as her behaviour may affect me, it was just possible that my behaviour may affect her, one day… I am waiting for her to return my smile one day and one day she will.

No-one is really my enemy. There is no such thing as an enemy.

God bless you
 
This seems to be a helpful thread to many of us and I truly appreciate all your kinds words as together we strive towards holiness by loving God and our ‘neighbor’ as Jesus commanded.

“You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”… Matthew 22:37

Maria
 
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