S
sugarmouse
Guest
I’m a member of an amateur choir (i.e. I pay for membership, and don’t get paid for doing concerts). A few weeks ago, our choir leader gave us out a list of upcoming events. We’re given lots of notice so we can get time off work if required, and so that we don’t, for example, plan a dinner out with friends on a concert night. It’s expected that we try to attend all rehearsals and concerts, and don’t make unnecessary plans that would deliberately clash with concerts.
One concert on the list, our choir leader told us we would not need the full choir to attend, just 15-20 members. This is quite common when we’re asked to perform at an event where there’s limited space.
As I said, we’re given notice for an event, therefore I knew about this particular concert a few weeks before they started taking names for who could make it. Meanwhile, on Facebook, I was invited to a social event - a dance at a neighbouring diocese. Many of my friends would be going, including an old friend who I haven’t seen in a long time.
I was therefore torn over what to do. I knew that if no one else could make the concert, then I have a responsibility to go along even if I have to miss the dance. I considered telling my choir leader that I was hoping to attend another event, but that if no one else could make the concert, then I would step in (tickets to the dance can be bought at the door, so I don’t have to tell them in advance whether I can go).
However, last night at choir rehearsal, they began taking a list of names for the concert. I was asked directly if I could attend, and put on the spot (not wanting to lie, and a little intimidated by the strict woman who was asking), I agreed to go.
Now, I’m not going to take back my word now that I’ve said I can make it, but I am quite upset that I can’t go to the dance now. As I said, many of my friends from university will be there, and it was the first time in months I’d be able to see my old friend. Now, I’m feeling pretty sad thinking about missing it.
**My question is: do you think that it would have been morally wrong to have gone to the dance instead of the concert? **Does it matter that they didn’t need more than 20 people, and that I could potentially have just waited for others to sign up, or should a concert like this always be a top priority?
I’m kind of doubting my decision right now. Half of me thinks: “Good for you! You’re staying loyal to your club even though it’s making you unhappy.” The other half thinks, “You idiot, this isn’t a moral issue. You might have been able to go to that dance, and now you’ll never know. Your friends are going to be so upset you can’t make it, and it might be months before you get to see that old friend of yours again.”
One concert on the list, our choir leader told us we would not need the full choir to attend, just 15-20 members. This is quite common when we’re asked to perform at an event where there’s limited space.
As I said, we’re given notice for an event, therefore I knew about this particular concert a few weeks before they started taking names for who could make it. Meanwhile, on Facebook, I was invited to a social event - a dance at a neighbouring diocese. Many of my friends would be going, including an old friend who I haven’t seen in a long time.
I was therefore torn over what to do. I knew that if no one else could make the concert, then I have a responsibility to go along even if I have to miss the dance. I considered telling my choir leader that I was hoping to attend another event, but that if no one else could make the concert, then I would step in (tickets to the dance can be bought at the door, so I don’t have to tell them in advance whether I can go).
However, last night at choir rehearsal, they began taking a list of names for the concert. I was asked directly if I could attend, and put on the spot (not wanting to lie, and a little intimidated by the strict woman who was asking), I agreed to go.
Now, I’m not going to take back my word now that I’ve said I can make it, but I am quite upset that I can’t go to the dance now. As I said, many of my friends from university will be there, and it was the first time in months I’d be able to see my old friend. Now, I’m feeling pretty sad thinking about missing it.
**My question is: do you think that it would have been morally wrong to have gone to the dance instead of the concert? **Does it matter that they didn’t need more than 20 people, and that I could potentially have just waited for others to sign up, or should a concert like this always be a top priority?
I’m kind of doubting my decision right now. Half of me thinks: “Good for you! You’re staying loyal to your club even though it’s making you unhappy.” The other half thinks, “You idiot, this isn’t a moral issue. You might have been able to go to that dance, and now you’ll never know. Your friends are going to be so upset you can’t make it, and it might be months before you get to see that old friend of yours again.”