Lust and Confession

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RileyG

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(I don’t know if this is in the right category- if not forgive me).
Ok, I’ve been struggling with this for the past few years, and faithfully going to confession when committed. Through daily prayer I am able to resist lust, and I see confession helps a lot. Please pray for me, and any advice would be helpful. But my question is- not dwelling on the thought would be ‘temptation’ not a sin, right?
G-d Bless. 🙂
 
I have the same problem… And in my opinion, you’re right. That’s as long as the thought comes about randomly and you don’t purposely put yourself in position to be tempted. But I’m no expert
 
Thanks. Glad I’m not alone on this- I’d love to go to daily mass to help strengthen me, but where i live it’s only at noon, while i’m in class. 😦
 
It’s that borderline thing, but yes, I think it has to be a more on purpose thing. No one can help be attracted to someone, but it is what we do with those thoughts (if you dwell/have played out fantasies, then it’s sinful lust).
 
RileyG said:
But my question is- not dwelling on the thought would be ‘temptation’ not a sin, right?
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That is correct. It is only a sin when you act on it. But the longer you dwell on it, the more likely you may act on it, so it is best to heed Jesus’ advice:[bibledrb]Matthew 26:41[/bibledrb]
 
WingsOfEagles said:
It’s that borderline thing, but yes, I think it has to be a more on purpose thing. No one can help be attracted to someone, but it is what we do with those thoughts (if you dwell/have played out fantasies, then it’s sinful lust).
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Its 24/7 no thoughts on sex. But Then Nocturnal dreams and Emissions become Imminent
 
We don’t really have control of Nocturnal dreams, so those wouldn’t really be considered a sin.
 
Perhaps this will help:

(from previous posts of mine)

Regarding thoughts

while Jesus makes it clear that one can sin in ones thoughts…just cause some lustful thought happens does not mean that one sinned…

(and one can have a sufficiently good reason to think about sexual matters…for instance studying moral theology…but care must be taken to avoid things that would be a problem…but that is another question)

What should we do with* unwanted* sexual thoughts or other bad thoughts…thoughts against God etc? Those pesky temptations that can come …even though we are not seeking them etc…

(there are of course some things we should avoid that cause them…and there can be sin if it is something one should reasonably avoid…but often they come uninvited)

First…Relax. Do not worry.

Now are they mortal sins?

For a mortal sin one needs a grave matter …full knowledge AND deliberate consent!!!

A. If you do not want the thought…it the thought displeases you: it can be a sign actually that you did not give consent or do not give full consent.

B. Even if you felt a temptation for the thought – and were drawn to it —but rejected it and maybe even turned to God : again a sign not full consent.

C. But what if one has a tempting thought --say of a sexual nature and even hesitated for a moment…but then rejected it for one did not want to sin? : it can be partial consent perhaps (and thus a venial sin)-- or it may be no sin at all but rather a strong temptation that drew you but then you saw what was happening and turned away.

D. A temptation can even be very strong or the thoughts very often – but this does NOT mean one has consented! so worry not…even it they go on for a long time…

remember --for it to be mortal there must be that deliberate consent!

What to do? on the spiritual side–relax first of all and remember the above.

Next – know that the more one fears the thoughts the more likely they are to come… or said another way --the more a person seeks to avoid the thoughts the more likely he will have a problem with them. (but do not worry about this either!)

for example: for the next 10 seconds try NOT to think of an apple.

tick tock …

tick tock…

Ok what did you think of? Most likely an apple.

So it is best to ignore them and just not consent and then turn your attention to some other good thing…for instance whatever you are doing. Simply do not consent and move on. and do not worry

another point – thoughts can just happen --they are the stuff with which we think…it is up to us to consent and take them further or not. and just because they are REAL VIVID and almost “think themselves” does not mean per se that one has given ANY consent.

they can be annoying…but need cause no actual harm …

(Now difficulties with thoughts can happen to anyone…and has for centuries…nothing new!..but I will note too that “some” have a condition known as OCD (I knew someone with this once…it was a painful experience)…and thus should seek further professional help to work at overcoming it and to live a more peaceful life)
Another help…is the distinction between “first thoughts and emotions” (as Baur calls em) what they call the prima of the prima…“the first of the first” (as one of my Professors called em…he was a Dominican)…these are involuntary things that just come up…such are not sins. They can tempt one of course to sin…or one can then proceed to some sin…but they are the stuff of the mind and emotions which “happen to one” …and really the are opportunities for growing in virtue etc as well…

How to deal with these? First of relax…don’t scruple…don’t fear them…to try to swat them all as the come…just simply turn to other things…or the thing you are doing…or to God…(of course do not consent)…but if you are too defensive against them…they may get worse actually…and confuse you more…instead turn to God or again other good things…accept that hey…somethings wild thoughts will come to you…

(and these can happen to all of us by the way…)

There is a story from the desert of the early Centuries of the Church where a younger hermit when to an older one with the problems of thoughts happening to him all the time…the older hermit told him to go outside open his cloak and catch the wind.

The younger hermit said such is not possible…

the older hermit replied --neither is it possible to stop all the thoughts that can come to you…your choice is to say “yes” or “no”.

So relax about “unwanted thoughts”…sometimes they just come…you know like unwanted phone calls from politicitians and salepersons etc…but you can always say “no thank you” or just ignore the call and go about your business
 
Geremia said:
That is correct. It is only a sin when you act on it. But the longer you dwell on it, the more likely you may act on it, so it is best to heed Jesus’ advice:[bibledrb]Matthew 26:41[/bibledrb]
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I would use the word “consent” here…

One can commit sins of lust (thought etc) with no external “act” whatsoever…

But yes one must distinguish between “temptation” and sin…
 
WingsOfEagles said:
We don’t really have control of Nocturnal dreams, so those wouldn’t really be considered a sin.
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You say Nocturnal dreams would not be considered a Sin!!

Why is it in the old testament it says> That it makes you unclean and you have to sacrafice 2 doves to make you clean?

It seems a bit unfair that you do your best not to masturbate>This in-turn make you hungry for a sexual release and you can be easily sexually aroused.
Then you are plagued by dreams of having sex with women and sometimes with no emissions. So you wake up highly aroused feeling sexually frustrated.
It seems to be a unfair temptation??

When i was a non catholic and a taxi-driver i used to get plenty of offers for sex by women.
Some of the protestant churches i went to said that that some forms of masturbation was not a Sin. But others forms was a sin.

To stop myself committing Fornication or Adultery with any women i used to masturbate first before i went to work taxi-driving so i would not be in any sexual mood if i was tempted.

But Catholics say masturbation is a Sin. So i Might as-well had proper sex with these women because Sin is Sin at the end of the day.

I thought Jesus meant in Matthew. Who ever looks at a woman lustfully commits Adultery in his heart>Means if i look at a married women lustfully!! Or if i was married looking at any women lustfully i Commit Adultery in my Heart.

A single Man looking at a Single Woman Lustfully>How is that committing ‘‘Adultery’’ in the heart?
Because ‘‘Adultery’’ is to do with the ‘‘married’’🤷
 
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