Princess_Abby:
I am very surprised to hear you refer to a woman in such a manner, especially when you end your post wanting to attach a sign regarding “humble in manner and loving to enemies.”
** If you have difficulty with looking at a woman lustfully, it is as someone else mentioned–a secular perspective that needs to be rooted out.
** A woman is beautiful because of her personhood and the fact that she is created in the image and likeness of Jesus Christ. **If you are unable to see that yet, then that is your weakness which it appears you are wholeheartedly addressing.
**
This was beautifully put, and I think there’s a HUGE element of truth in this post.
And the way one guy in this thread put his problem as so extreme, it
sounds like he may have issues with women
in general, and not just the ones who dress inappropriately. Unless he was exaggerating, or having a particularly stressful day, it didn’t sound to me like this guy could handle being in a room with a very attractive, yet modestly-dressed woman from the way he wrote. (Don’t want to look up which post or single the guy out).
This is what can happen if you have a bad
reaction to temptation. Some women are putting out the message “I’m an object” and after a while you start to buy it, and before you know it, you’ve given yourself a license to degrade them instead of pray for them.
Before men think I’m not compassionate about this problem, I’d wager that a lot of women have it too–without the temptation part. We women can also view other women as “tarts” and “objects” when we see them dressed this way (without the attraction) and acquire a distasteful perception of womanhood as a result of it. I’m not picking on men here just for the sake of it; please understand that.
It would seem to me that any man (or woman) would be a lot less understanding of men’s “weakness” if they knew another man was treating their daughter as an object like this, even despite his daughter’s poor taste in clothes. They’d know that their daughter should dress better, but they would still be upset that people didn’t see *their daughter, a person, someone who was loved, someone made in the image of God, etc.
*From everything I hear from men themselves who overcome this weakness, the first step in overcoming this is to deprogram what secular society has injected into them, because this is what happened without their realizing it. Men with such an inordinate problem with this
can and should do whatever it takes to see everyone as created in the image of Jesus Christ. Temptation is one thing, but allowing one’s self to dehumanize a person because of it, is a sign of something wrong, and of an opportunity to become stronger and more charitable.
I’m sorry, I know this isn’t easy to hear, and like most cases where charity is difficult, it’s easier said than done. But I didn’t make up the rules. It’s simply what we’re supposed to do, and it can be done. St. Pelagia’s story is very appropriate here.
Some quick prayers/blessings for a person at the beginning of such a temptation seems to be a way to habituate feelings of charity and to nip this kind of thinking in the bud. I’m going to start doing that myself; I also have a tendency to having misogynistic thoughts when I see certain kinds of women.
There’s a Catholic Answers radio show on overcoming p-*-r-n that has a little bit to do with this. If you’ve got some alone-time or computer headphones, maybe give the show a listen. If you can’t find it, PM me and I’ll get the URL for you.
We’ve all got our weaknesses–hang in there!
Good one!
