Lust/Intrusive Thoughts

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HeavenChaser

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I’m seventeen and suffer from intrusive thoughts. Recently it has been extreme intrusive thoughts. But today has me worried I mortally sinned. I have a co-worker that is beautiful, (and I have recognized it before) and I honestly probably have a little crush on her. Well today my co-worker asked who is coming into work today and saw her name. My first thought that came to my head was when my other co-worker told me before that he thinks she is pretty, right after that a thought that said I would like to have sex with her came to my head, and a split second after that a detail to the sex. Normally when a thought like this enters I immediately say no I would not, I just want to be with God, but this time I did not say that. However at the same time I did not entertain the thoughts beyond that, and they stopped. I guess you could argue it was just a thought that I really did not mean which is true, because I really would not have sex with her. Yes my co-worker is beautiful, but if the opportunity arose to actually have sex with her I would definitely say no, because that is 100% wrong, and immoral, and 100% not the person I am. As said above I have been recently struggling hard with intrusive thoughts, tormenting me, always knocking at the door, and I am trying to resist and fight back which explains the thought today. Long story short is this a mortal sin, specifically did I lust? Thank you for all the responses, and could we also avoid the, “Talk to your priest” answers because I do talk to him and he does help me, I am simply just looking to see what others think. Once again thank you.
 
I think you have OCD. So do I. I have been tormented by intrusive thoughts. It is part of OCD.

When you are attacked by the thoughts, do not fight them or argue with them—that reinforces them and makes it worse. Just accept that you had the thought, don’t panic and move on. Think of an intrusive thought like you would some drunk guy yelling at you on a street. They are just thoughts, we can’t control every thought that comes into our brain and trying to do so will only cause you extreme torment. I know this from experience.

I understand your pain—I have been through it. It started when I was a kid and I had no idea what was going on, only these awful thoughts would torment me and I would exhaust myself trying to fight them. When your OCD acts up, it is absolutely awful. I mean, it is pure misery. Please get help.
 
I’m sorry for not being clear. That was just a statement to say I do talk to him normally for guidance.
 
I cant tell you if its mortal sin but you are not alone here. I also often have intrusive impure thoughts. I try not to look at women at all. The body cant have control over your mind and soul.
 
Those kinds of thoughts are either not sinful, as there is no real consent, or only venial sin. A lustful thought usually includes the willingness to carry out the act, if the opportunity arose. So what you experience is not mortal sin. Pray, and be at peace, and then you will find it easier to avoid this problem. Worrying about mortal sin makes it worse.
 
HeavenChaser said:
I’m seventeen and suffer from intrusive thoughts. Recently it has been extreme intrusive thoughts.
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You need to be under the care of a therapist. Talk to your parents or counselor at school about getting help.
 
When I see a woman and I know that this can cause a temptation in a short while, then I turn my eyes away and look somewhere else. I dont run away from women.
I must turn away my eyes from every woman I see. For example when Im outside and I see women(I dont want to deny the beauty of all women but I do it when I see mainly young women or teenagers) then I turn away my eyes because I dont want to be tempted. And of course I must repeat in my mind that she is only an ordinary normal woman(I mean that its just a woman, there are plenty of them, not denying their beauty but its just a woman, God’s child) over and over. For example: “No no no, she is just a normal girl/woman, God’s child, she has human dignity like me, dont look at her, dont lust, xyz, rocks are better to watch”
 
A good sign a thought is unwanted (and therefore you have no culpability) is that it is a thought that bothers or even disgusts you.
Canvas said:
When you are attacked by the thoughts, do not fight them or argue with them—that reinforces them and makes it worse. Just accept that you had the thought, don’t panic and move on. Think of an intrusive thought like you would some drunk guy yelling at you on a street. They are just thoughts, we can’t control every thought that comes into our brain and trying to do so will only cause you extreme torment. I know this from experience.
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This! If you really have intrusive thoughts you need to learn not to worry about them. It gives them strength. You need to in a sense laugh the thought off. You need to ignore it. Even furiously praying in that moment is risky. Praying is fine but pray and move on.
 
Mortal Sin is a mortsl sin if it is:
Deliberate
With full knowledge
Full freedom

Only you can answer if those three criteria were present.

If you are unsure the only thing you can do is say it in confession and attend Sunday mass but avoid communion until confessed.

Remember not to deliberately think impure thoughts because Jesus said deliberate impure thoughts are adultery committed in the heart.
 
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YoungCatholicGuy said:
If you are unsure the only thing you can do is say it in confession and attend Sunday mass but avoid communion until confessed.

Remember not to deliberately think impure thoughts because Jesus said deliberate impure thoughts are adultery committed in the heart.
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This is absolutely terrible advice for a possible scrupulant. You really need to research the pastoral approach to dealing with this condition that goes back hundreds of years before you give advice to someone who is most likely suffering severe scrupulosity.

The rules are very different for the scrupulous than a person with a lax conscience.


Here is an essay that is over 100 years old about treatment of Scrupulosity (which we now know is linked to OCD in the more severe cases) but is exceptionally insightful and describes the pastoral approach to care, which is pretty much is still the same in the 21st century.

http://catholicapologetics.info/library/onlinelibrary/scruples.htm
 
Ah my dear, I suffered the same problem. Please meet with a counsellor in addition to your priest.

It’s a difficult time but you thinking about them will make it worse. God had to drill His way into my head to make me understand things. I hurt myself very much and I’m still healing from all the pain.

I shall pray for you that you get the guidance you need. 🙂
 
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Thank you for the prayers, and advice. I talked to my mom about this and she thinks I am making it a bigger deal than what it really is, because she and I know that I would not really act on it. I honestly feel that professional help is not needed, I mean these intrusive thoughts have never happened before, it has just been a rough couple weeks. Anyways I’m still a bit confused, it seems like more people think it is venial because it was an intrusive thought that lasted for only 3-5 seconds and I would not actually act upon it, but others think it was definitely mortal still. Overall what do we think it is venial or mortal? Once again could we please avoid the “Ask your priest” answers, I’m just looking for another perspective. Thank you again for the advice.
 
Well I’ve been through this. And it was much more serious for me.I still wonder if a 3-5 second delay would constitute mortal sin. And I still don’t know.

This is my take on things:

You yourself mentioned in your recent reply that you know you won’t act on it. It doesn’t matter if you do or do not internally scream in your head that you will not commit this sin. You know you wouldn’t. If I feel the same way as you do right now, I would say that I didn’t commit mortal sin. I feel God taught me that; He taught me to trust that He knows what’s really inside. And from then on I’m much calmer about things.

I had a few sexual temptations too today. I didn’t pray or freak out. My long battle with intrusive thoughts and anxiety has shown me that there is always a clear choice, and I haven’t given in today.
Maybe next time you get a temptation (or intrusive thought) you can try this: Appreciate that your body is healthy and sexually active, thank God you’re heterosexual, and just focus on something else. Forget about it for the rest of the day. Before you go to bed, pray to God for guidance and think about it. You’ll have a much clearer idea about what’s going on. I wait for about a week to decide if I sinned or not. This is what I do. Generally I would know if I have given in- deliberately continuing the fantasy to gain pleasure. THAT is mortal sin. There can be no mistake about it.
 
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