Lust Question

[the_man]

This really wrecks my head. When i go to confession and afterwards recieve the eucharist during mass, then a few days later i do something which i am not sure is a mortal sin and then i am afraid to take the eucharist, so i have to wait untill the end of the week to confession again. My priest thinks i may be scrupulous at times; but i dont know. This has only been in the last few weeks.

Anyway i have a friend who is a girl and we went to watch a football match. I kept, almost obsessively (every now and then) looking at her Body becasue she is very nice looking BUT i was in no way thinking anything sexual or thinking of her as an object because we are good friends and i respect her. Its just she is very pretty so its hard to just not admire her beauty.
My question - is this a mortal sin and can i or can i not recieve the eucharist tommorrow at mass?

God bless

 

[rpp]

This really wrecks my head. When i go to confession and afterwards recieve the eucharist during mass, then a few days later i do something which i am not sure is a mortal sin and then i am afraid to take the eucharist, so i have to wait untill the end of the week to confession again. My priest thinks i may be scrupulous at times; but i dont know. This has only been in the last few weeks.

Anyway i have a friend who is a girl and we went to watch a football match. I kept, almost obsessively (every now and then) looking at her Body becasue she is very nice looking BUT i was in no way thinking anything sexual or thinking of her as an object because we are good friends and i respect her. Its just she is very pretty so its hard to just not admire her beauty.
My question - is this a mortal sin and can i or can i not recieve the eucharist tommorrow at mass?

God bless

From what you have posted, I do not believe that admiring your friend’s beauty is in any way sinful. On the other hand, if you were entertaining sexual thoughts or fantasies, yes, that would be sinful but the gravity of the sin would require a priest to evaluate.

Scrupulosity is a very serious difficulty to overcome. Here is an online resource you can use.

mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm

 

[NoWhereMan]

This really wrecks my head. When i go to confession and afterwards recieve the eucharist during mass, then a few days later i do something which i am not sure is a mortal sin and then i am afraid to take the eucharist, so i have to wait untill the end of the week to confession again. My priest thinks i may be scrupulous at times; but i dont know. This has only been in the last few weeks.

Anyway i have a friend who is a girl and we went to watch a football match. I kept, almost obsessively (every now and then) looking at her Body becasue she is very nice looking BUT i was in no way thinking anything sexual or thinking of her as an object because we are good friends and i respect her. Its just she is very pretty so its hard to just not admire her beauty.
My question - is this a mortal sin and can i or can i not recieve the eucharist tommorrow at mass?

God bless

No way is what You explained a mortal sin, Relax, Enjoy the Beautiful women God created. I enjoy looking at beautiful women also, without wanting to tear their clothes off

 

[hammer05]

This really wrecks my head. When i go to confession and afterwards recieve the eucharist during mass, then a few days later i do something which i am not sure is a mortal sin and then i am afraid to take the eucharist, so i have to wait untill the end of the week to confession again. My priest thinks i may be scrupulous at times; but i dont know. This has only been in the last few weeks.

Anyway i have a friend who is a girl and we went to watch a football match. I kept, almost obsessively (every now and then) looking at her Body becasue she is very nice looking BUT i was in no way thinking anything sexual or thinking of her as an object because we are good friends and i respect her. Its just she is very pretty so its hard to just not admire her beauty.
My question - is this a mortal sin and can i or can i not recieve the eucharist tommorrow at mass?

God bless

What if a person is in a similar situation and does start thinking sexual thoughts about the other person. Is that necessarily sinful? If I need to go to confession every time I see a good looking female and begin to have sexual thoughts about her (although I may not linger in dwelling on them or would I act on them because of my religious convictions), then I may as well have a priest on call 24/7. Sometimes I think people in these forums can be very rigid and unrealistic in their expectations.

 

[the_man]

Thank you all very much

 

[Ron_Conte]

Lust is a willingness (an interior consent) to commit an illicit sexual act. Thus, Jesus refers to lust as a type of adultery of the heart, in that the heart is willing to commit adultery, or any other mortal sexual sin.

Merely looking at a woman with admiration, even to the extent of sin, is not lust per se.

Also, mere sexual desire is not necessarily lust, since a husband and wife may desire one another, but may not commit the sin of lust.

 

[the_man]

Thank you all for your help; but is it still not a venial sin the fact that i repeatedly kept looking at her body. I know we are meant to avoid the second glance but i took loads of glances throughout that day. Maybe i am being Scrupulous. Forgive my persistance

 

[Yiggoto]

We are programmed to find people attractive and it is nature to want to look. It becomes an issue when you are conditioned to believe that it is sinful. The whole confessional thing is designed to make you feel bad. Get out before you are well and truly messed up. You are capable of knowing what is right. Look at women and enjoy their beauty. Imagine what can be. Talk to someone away from the church. Get a different view.

 

[rpp]

What if a person is in a similar situation and does start thinking sexual thoughts about the other person. Is that necessarily sinful? If I need to go to confession every time I see a good looking female and begin to have sexual thoughts about her (although I may not linger in dwelling on them or would I act on them because of my religious convictions), then I may as well have a priest on call 24/7. Sometimes I think people in these forums can be very rigid and unrealistic in their expectations.

Fleeting thoughts, or ideas that are immediately dismissed are not sinful. Dwelling on those thoughts can be. The seriousness is not clear, but I think it is safe to say that if you suddenly find yourself thinking thoughts along those lines and stop your mind from going there, you have not sinned. On the other hand, if you continue to entertain those thoughts for a while to the point of near sexual arousal, then I think it is probably safe to say that is a grave sin.

 

[rpp]

Thank you all for your help; but is it still not a venial sin the fact that i repeatedly kept looking at her body. I know we are meant to avoid the second glance but i took loads of glances throughout that day. Maybe i am being Scrupulous. Forgive my persistance

While it may be a little rude, as long as there is no improper intent, no sin is committed.

 

[MrIrish]

Thank you all for your help; but is it still not a venial sin the fact that i repeatedly kept looking at her body. I know we are meant to avoid the second glance but i took loads of glances throughout that day. Maybe i am being Scrupulous. Forgive my persistance

the man, I guarantee you that reading these forums and looking for answers to scrupulous questions will bring you misery. Your priest-confessor was able to listen to you and observe the workings of your conscience objectively (this is very key). He said he thinks you are being scrupulous. Please, for your own sake, listen to him. Go to him alone for advice to help you work out these problems. By asking multiple sources for answers you will get multiple, conflicting responses, which will only serve to confuse you further, unsettle your mind, and foster more scrupulosity. Also, by continuing to focus your energy on this one episode with this girl you are further encouraging the scrupulous condition. I hope I am not coming across as berating you, but I want to tell you as forcefully and charitably as I can that coming to these forums for help with this particular spiritual problem is a very bad idea.

 

[The_Otaku]

Fleeting thoughts, or ideas that are immediately dismissed are not sinful. Dwelling on those thoughts can be. The seriousness is not clear, but I think it is safe to say that if you suddenly find yourself thinking thoughts along those lines and stop your mind from going there, you have not sinned. On the other hand, if you continue to entertain those thoughts for a while to the point of near sexual arousal, then I think it is probably safe to say that is a grave sin.

What about fleeting thoughts that do somehow cause sexual arousal immediately? Is it wrong for the person to be experiencing this pleasure when they weren’t looking for it?

Naturally we would think that the thought or fantasy or whatever must have been pretty bad if it got the man or woman so worked up, but what if it’s either not their fault, or they consented to the thought, but not the sexual arousal, and never intended or wanted for it to go that far but it’s too late to stop it, or, for that matter the thoughts themselves were not sexual but they induced stimulation of the genitals anyways?

Some people are more sensitive in this way than others, and they don’t know the power of their own minds or thoughts, and may be more easily turned on by even innocent thoughts about the opposite sex. How do we address these people in regards to confession and the need for it?

 

[Catholic_89]

My friend, listen to your confessor. If you go to him regularly, ask him to be your spiritual director, and then discuss this problem further. Saints who had spiritual directors, would tell you that obedience is key. There is more said in your obedience than in your fretting.
If you are unsure about mass tomorrow, go ask the priest before mass.

 

[saint143]

A sensitive conscience is a wonderful gift from God. I am careful to dress modestly so that I won’t be guilty of causing a man to sin with his eyes. View all women as if they could be your sister or mother. Look away from women who dress without dignity. A pure heart burns with His love. Quiet your mind and listen for His voice in your heart. He will guide you.