Lust v. Sexual Attraction

[rkwittem]

Get some counseling. Human beings do have sex, and eventually, your wife will expect it.

I had it a while ago- not for this specifically, but we did spend most of the time on it. It did not work. It did discover that I’m a schizoid. Not a full-blown one, but something of a lower level one. I am not using this as an excuse to not take the next step…my intentions on this front are mostly based on my own sexual morality, however rigid and cold it may be. Which leads to my next point…
The “my wife will expect it” part is exactly what I’m leery of.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I had it a while ago- not for this specifically, but we did spend most of the time on it. It did not work. It did discover that I’m a schizoid. Not a full-blown one, but something of a lower level one. I am not using this as an excuse to not take the next step…my intentions on this front are mostly based on my own sexual morality, however rigid and cold it may be. Which leads to my next point…
The “my wife will expect it” part is exactly what I’m leery of.

You will be in my prayers. I think this will continue to be an issue for you and it is not as simple as “just start dating and things will gradually improve.” Can you even make friends with any female without being frightened of having sexual feelings? What about befriending less attractive females? Did your psychologist have any suggestions for you? We’re not allowed to give medical advice on this forum but you probably should be in continuing contact with a mental health professional.

 

[yellow8yellowM]

In a nutshell, what’s really the key, fundamental difference between sexual attraction and lust, if there is one? Is it really just semantics?
To me, there really is no fundamental difference between the two.

Sexual attraction to lust as appetite is to gluttony.

Sexual attraction and appetite are natural and good, while lust and gluttony are abuses of those natural and good things.

 

[rkwittem]

You will be in my prayers. I think this will continue to be an issue for you and it is not as simple as “just start dating and things will gradually improve.” Can you even make friends with any female without being frightened of having sexual feelings? What about befriending less attractive females? Did your psychologist have any suggestions for you? We’re not allowed to give medical advice on this forum but you probably should be in continuing contact with a mental health professional.

No, I have a handful (4-5) female friends, most from college, some from work. I simply ignore any feelings I may have. Some them are girls I would consider “cute” and some are not. But they are all my friends.

Getting along with women is not the problem. Accepting my sexuality as a “gift” and not a hindrance to my spiritual life is my chief concern. I know in my heart of hearts I should accept it, face it and move on, but I am quite leery of doing so. I have zero interest in even remotely stepping on the same path my more sexually active (and non-Catholic) friends have.