LUST

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I just need to know something that happend today to make sure it wasnt lust.
I looked at porn about 3 weeks ago and since have sworen never to do so again and havent since confession but today in class people were talking about stupid things “Sexual” things which were a bit wrong and i didnt like it but then out of no where i remembered the video i watched and i DID NOT want to remember i tried getting it out of my head and in 15 sec it was gone in that time i did not feel like i got the urge to masturbate instead i started feeling like when you see a really pretty girl and you are like just staring at her and would love to say something to her.
The type of feeling when you look at someone who is good looking but if you keep on looking for ages you will spot things which you like and will end up masturbating but im worried now again about lust I NEVER WANTED to think about it in the first place, i did not have a fantasy of me doing… something to her it was just a straight through part of the video and 15 sec later i wasnt thinking about it yes i do know how it feels when you need to masturbate you start shaking and nothing will control you until you are done that is what i think lust is when it becomes out of control and you need to masturbate am I correct?
But today was just like something that i didnt want came and i had a reaction to it was this lust or not?
 
Sagefrakrobatik said:
i have notice though that ever since i started watching tv again after a five month hiatus sex is more pervasive than ever. Not onlly that but almost ever show i watch/sitcom i watch has underlying sexual messages. they constantly send the message that in order to be happy that you have be in constant persuit of a mate.
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More like in order to be happy you have to be in constant pursuit of a mating. 😉

Sad, but true.
 
CuriousInIL said:
Ok, I have always thought that I had a problem with lust, namely, having lustful thoughts based upon seeing random women on the street, on TV, in catalogs and magazines, etc. But, lately, I have been reading more about this and am now wondering if my reaction is not lust.

So, if I see a lovely woman on the street, I think “Wow, she is pretty. My wife is pretty; I want to make love with my wife.” Or, watching a R-rated movie, I may see a scene with frontal nudity. And I often think “She has lovely breasts; my wife has lovely breasts, I want to make love with my wife.”

I could go on, but I think those 2 examples make my point. I never want to be with, kiss, hug, hold, or make love to these other women. Rather, I “admire” something about them and then quickly fall into the thoughts about my wife.

So, is that lust, or not?
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Your wife may be externally beautiful now, but someday, she’ll be old. Yet, erotic movies will generally continue to seek young actresses. Someday, you may get to the point of saying, “That girl is pretty. I WISH my wife still looked that good,” if you don’t cut out the erotic movies NOW, before you become addicted. Even though you may not be technically watching what the world considers, “porn,” if you are viewing something that is directing your thoughts into the sexual realm, even towards your wife in the sexual realm, you are getting yourself into an addiction which I heard was more addictive than heroin. Stop, NOW, before the struggle gets any more difficult. As for something not being “lust” unless it causes you to desire the act of sex, I disagree. Many thoughts that don’t technically involve the act of sex can still be very impure and lustful. If you think you are merely, “appreciating her beauty,” then you are deceived. Focus exclusively on your wife, letting your mental foreplay begin with your wife, not with someone who reminds you of your wife. Keep the marriage bed undefiled, not just in the physical sense, but in the mental sense as well.
 
dazzi said:
I just need to know something that happend today to make sure it wasnt lust.
I looked at porn about 3 weeks ago and since have sworen never to do so again and havent since confession but today in class people were talking about stupid things “Sexual” things which were a bit wrong and i didnt like it but then out of no where i remembered the video i watched and i DID NOT want to remember i tried getting it out of my head and in 15 sec it was gone in that time i did not feel like i got the urge to masturbate instead i started feeling like when you see a really pretty girl and you are like just staring at her and would love to say something to her.
The type of feeling when you look at someone who is good looking but if you keep on looking for ages you will spot things which you like and will end up masturbating but im worried now again about lust I NEVER WANTED to think about it in the first place, i did not have a fantasy of me doing… something to her it was just a straight through part of the video and 15 sec later i wasnt thinking about it yes i do know how it feels when you need to masturbate you start shaking and nothing will control you until you are done that is what i think lust is when it becomes out of control and you need to masturbate am I correct?
But today was just like something that i didnt want came and i had a reaction to it was this lust or not?
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We reap what we sow. What you experienced is a very common reaction. Images that we have seen in pornography stay embedded in our brain for quite a long time. By viewing pornography, we essentially give the devil a license to bring up those images any time he wants, even when it is against OUR will. We open a door that we don’t have the power to shut. Yet, God has the power, if we trust in Him. I heard that memorizing Scripture is a useful tool to get rid of such images. The “renewing of the mind,” if you will, (See Romans 12:2.) As I mentioned, I heard that erotic imagery is more addictive than heroin.
People who God has totally delivered from the sin known as “The Big M,” can still be guilty of chronic lusting, so that is not an accurate way to gauge whether something is lust or not. If the thought flashes by your brain and you quickly dismiss it by praying to God, then LIKELY that was not lust. If, however, you dwelled on the thought, then it was lust. 15 seconds sounds a bit too long to me, but this is between you and God. When in doubt, make an honest confession.
 
I dont think it was 15 seconds it was just like a quick flash type of thing maybe 2-3 seconds as soon as it started i said in my head “God Please get rid of these thoughts”.
and if you see a prettygirl fully dressed nothing exposing and you look at her and you feel something for her like you dont have any sexual thoughts or fantasies just look at her and think how beatiful she is and the “feeling” guys get.
But there are no sexual thoughts or fantasies or words like “Oh i wish i had a piece of that”. is this Lust or attraction i dont know the difference is it true lust is when you have fantasies of doing something to her and Attraction is when you look at someone without any sexual thoughts and like her looks etc.??
 
dazzi said:
I dont think it was 15 seconds it was just like a quick flash type of thing maybe 2-3 seconds as soon as it started i said in my head “God Please get rid of these thoughts”.
and if you see a prettygirl fully dressed nothing exposing and you look at her and you feel something for her like you dont have any sexual thoughts or fantasies just look at her and think how beatiful she is and the “feeling” guys get.
But there are no sexual thoughts or fantasies or words like “Oh i wish i had a piece of that”. is this Lust or attraction i dont know the difference is it true lust is when you have fantasies of doing something to her and Attraction is when you look at someone without any sexual thoughts and like her looks etc.??
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I was hoping someone else would reply to this, as it is an issue that I’ve wrestled with(figuring out where wholesome attraction crosses the line into sinful lust) and I may not be the best to reply, but I figure if no one else is replying, better that I take a stab at it than leave the question unanswered. I think you have the right idea. Essentially, if the thoughts you are having towards her are thoughts that you wouldn’t mind HER FATHER or VERY BIG OLDER BROTHER knowing that you were thinking, then you are probably alright in God’s Eyes, too, since God is her Father in Heaven. If, however, your thoughts are thoughts that you wouldn’t want her father or brother to know you were thinking, then you’ve probably crossed the line into lust. To look at it another way, if you had a daughter, or if you have a younger sister, are the thoughts that you are thinking about some girl thoughts that you would mind some other guy thinking about your daughter or younger sister? If not, then you are probably alright. If they are thoughts that would infuriate you if someone thought them about your daughter or younger sister, then you have crossed the line into sinful lust. Well, that’s my view. I hope it helps.
 
I have ahd a problem again im going to confession toniight but i dont know about this thing:
About 2 morning ago i had as they call a “Wet Dream” but as i was was waking up i felt my self like trying to i guess mastrubate or something but i did stop it i think im not sure because i wasnt myself still but i think i stopped as soon as i was starting to wake up but im not sure.
But i know it happend during the night as well but i didnt feel it or wake up.
But the First problem worries me do i need to say I masturbated because i dont want to sya something i didnt do because saying that you Masturbated is an uncomfortable thing especially saying it to the priest i ahve told the last 10 times i doubt he thinks differently of that person who says it i think he dosent mind what ever you tell him because its a confession the priest has heard it alot of times from other peopel but its just my nervousnes what should i do?
 
I am gonna post this and take the risk of sounding moralistic.

You might not personally have a problem with lust when watching a naked woman on tv… yet I wanna remind you of the categorial imperative of Kant (the golden rule) “Act so that you could want your behaviour to be a universal rule of behaviour”.

Or better yet: Imitate Me, says Christ. Could you ever imagine Jesus looking at nude women on tv or in reality?
You might object and say: but I dont feel lust… Okay… but do you think that the women in these movies were not objectified while making the movie? Do you have a moral obligation only to your self?
And how about your wife… would you like her to look at nude pictures of men and think: “Hmm, nice …, I wanna make love to my husband”. thats a turn off… I would not wanna be in a spousal lovemaking that was started by such a reasoning…

I think you gotta ask deeper… behind the appearance of things if you wanna be a truly moral person and not a selfish hypocrite.
Would you want your wife or daugther in an R-rated movie? If no, why not? what if the viewers claimed not to lust…?? still you would not I suppose… As Jesus asks: WHO is your neighbour?

In all honesty… I think watching such movies is a near occasion of sin and an idirect approval of sin against other people… We have a moral obligation even to the people who sell themselves and ruin themselves…
Other rules in the same category is to not give money to condom campains, not do your shopping in stores that use child labour, and not give money to the hamas …
by the way… don’t watch something you would not watch with your priest or your teen age daughter.

I was once at a sermon with a very humble Jewish Pastor. He said he had once watched a movie with his wife and when he saw that the movie was probably becoming sexually immodest he unplugged the whole TV set and carried it out of the house. I call that taking the consequence of knowing Christ.
Another pastor had told his kids not to watch r-rated movies. They said it would not hurt and there was only a little bit of sexual stuff… In order to illustrate to his kids why this was not okay he met them outside the house the next day and said: “I made a great chokolate cake … hope you dont mind I put just a tea spoon of toiletwater into it but the cake is really tasty.” needless to say the kids got the idea …

We are in this world… Not off this world…
 
GraceDK said:
I am gonna post this and take the risk of sounding moralistic.

You might not personally have a problem with lust when watching a naked woman on tv… yet I wanna remind you of the categorial imperative of Kant (the golden rule) “Act so that you could want your behaviour to be a universal rule of behaviour”.

Or better yet: Imitate Me, says Christ. Could you ever imagine Jesus looking at nude women on tv or in reality?
You might object and say: but I dont feel lust… Okay… but do you think that the women in these movies were not objectified while making the movie? Do you have a moral obligation only to your self?
And how about your wife… would you like her to look at nude pictures of men and think: “Hmm, nice …, I wanna make love to my husband”. thats a turn off… I would not wanna be in a spousal lovemaking that was started by such a reasoning…

I think you gotta ask deeper… behind the appearance of things if you wanna be a truly moral person and not a selfish hypocrite.
Would you want your wife or daugther in an R-rated movie? If no, why not? what if the viewers claimed not to lust…?? still you would not I suppose… As Jesus asks: WHO is your neighbour?

In all honesty… I think watching such movies is a near occasion of sin and an idirect approval of sin against other people… We have a moral obligation even to the people who sell themselves and ruin themselves…
Other rules in the same category is to not give money to condom campains, not do your shopping in stores that use child labour, and not give money to the hamas …
by the way… don’t watch something you would not watch with your priest or your teen age daughter.

I was once at a sermon with a very humble Jewish Pastor. He said he had once watched a movie with his wife and when he saw that the movie was probably becoming sexually immodest he unplugged the whole TV set and carried it out of the house. I call that taking the consequence of knowing Christ.
Another pastor had told his kids not to watch r-rated movies. They said it would not hurt and there was only a little bit of sexual stuff… In order to illustrate to his kids why this was not okay he met them outside the house the next day and said: “I made a great chokolate cake … hope you dont mind I put just a tea spoon of toiletwater into it but the cake is really tasty.” needless to say the kids got the idea …

We are in this world… Not off this world…
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Huh? Is this meant as some sort of comment that is trying to answer the OP?
 
brother, I am not out to offend you. You dont have to even consider what I am saying if you find that it is off topic but I do think it is related… I think we get into a lot of unhealthy and unnatural dilemmas when the flesh is guiding our choices… the flesh can be working in many ways… when you say you dont lust for example, I have no reason to doubt you, but I do think you are too narrow if you only consider the consequences for yourself but not for the women who are used by these industries and made objects…
By laying your own thoughts out here for people to reflect on… well… I give you my comment on what I think is really going on. I have been considering your post for some days now feeling that something just was not right about what you described. But as I say… You can choose to agree or dissagree agreably.
 
GraceDK said:
brother, I am not out to offend you. You dont have to even consider what I am saying if you find that it is off topic but I do think it is related… I think we get into a lot of unhealthy and unnatural dilemmas when the flesh is guiding our choices… the flesh can be working in many ways… when you say you dont lust for example, I have no reason to doubt you, but I do think you are too narrow if you only consider the consequences for yourself but not for the women who are used by these industries and made objects…
By laying your own thoughts out here for people to reflect on… well… I give you my comment on what I think is really going on. I have been considering your post for some days now feeling that something just was not right about what you described. But as I say… You can choose to agree or dissagree agreably.
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I am not offended at all and I am trying to consider what you are saying but I am really having a hard time understanding what it is that you are trying to say and how it relates to my OP. I am sure that it is just because I am not at a mental peak today; so I will wait and try to digest this again tomorrow.

However, if there is a way to simplify the points you are trying to make, I would certainly appreciate that.
 
hm…
okay first, I am taking the risk of sounding really stupid but… tell me what OP stands for …hehe (as a European with English as my second language I understand everything on these forums except for all these abbreveations)…
But if you mean how my post relates to your topic… well it is not a direct answer to your question which goes something like this: “Do my thoughts have lust or healthy appreciation as their root?”
I am only out to challenge you to think more critically about what you watch on TV. Thats all… maybe then my post will seem more easy to understand… I hope… I don’t think I wrote it in a difficult language… but regret that you are going through a hard time understanding it… I must work on being more clear… hm…
God bless bro… and sleep good.
 
dazzi said:
I dont think it was 15 seconds it was just like a quick flash type of thing maybe 2-3 seconds as soon as it started i said in my head “God Please get rid of these thoughts”.
and if you see a prettygirl fully dressed nothing exposing and you look at her and you feel something for her like you dont have any sexual thoughts or fantasies just look at her and think how beatiful she is and the “feeling” guys get.
But there are no sexual thoughts or fantasies or words like “Oh i wish i had a piece of that”. is this Lust or attraction i dont know the difference is it true lust is when you have fantasies of doing something to her and Attraction is when you look at someone without any sexual thoughts and like her looks etc.??
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Even when you don’t have sexual thoughts or fantasies if you become aroused by her looks and don’t look away quickly but continue to look this is sin because you would be enjoying the physical pleasure of sexual arousal even if you were not going to act on it. It is also an occasion of serious sin which is a mortal sin if you know this and still choose to do this.
 
I would just like to say that according to what you are posting you are disobaying the Sixth and Ninth Commandments apart from anything else that you are saying.
The Sixth forbids all words looks and actions contrary to holy Purity.
THe NInth forbids all impure thoughts and desires willfully entertained or concented to.
This is from the Catholic Catechism.
I am not saying that you are having impure thoughts only you know that but you are disobaying the Sixth Commandment by going to R rated movies.
Several years ago when the TV show N Y P D BLUE was on. Our Pastor told us off the Alter that we were forbidden to watch it
because of its NUde content.
If a person goes to confession and says I looked at Nude pictures or Movies… The Priest will not tell them that it is not a sin . It is

God Bless.

Mayo
 
I have come back to this thread and really need help please.

Christmas is coming up and Christmas confession is a week before I need to fight the hardest which I dont want in my life at the moment which is Lust, Last year (2006) the whole year I used to lust Masturbate and didn’t know it was a sin until exactly the 1/1/07 from then on I was in a battle and I have fallen many times since then but I have tried and tried and tried sometime I know im responsible for going into it and taking the temptation but Its no where near as bad as last year, last year I have to admitt it was once a day or once every 2 days, but on the day I said that I would do everything I can so by christmas I would be more happy, but I masturbated 2 weeks ago Ive been to confession but Ive fallen into lust.
Im going to the Christmas confession but Iam so scared I will fall into it before Christmas, to me it would feel like I dont know thinking about it makes me feel bad but experiencing it just NO!.
I have about 5 days in those 5 days what is the most please guys Im being so serious about this, what can I do in 5 days that Will help me last through the Christmas perioud without lust anything at all.
And to me I fall in Lust when I get scared that I will have the thoughts especially after confession i get so scared i end up falling into it the next day, also I see an attractive women at chruch and I fall in Lust but now sometime even if i dont see her when I go there what can I do please!!!?
 
Dazzi,

Just read your post and thought I’d reply.

About a month ago, I went to my priest and talked to him about having a problem with lust & masturbation. Which was really embarrassing to say the least - especially cause I’m a woman. lol.

Basically what he told me, was to pray whenever I am tempted by lust or to act on the lust, especially the rosary. He said asking for intercession from Mary to keep my thoughts pure would tremendously help. And it has. I still struggle a lot with lust - but have the masturbation somewhat under control.

I also recommend going to confession. And like other posters have said - avoid images/movies etc that could cause you to have impure thoughts - cause once the thoughts get in there…one thing leads to another. And like someone else posted - those images stay for a long time and pop up whenever they feel like it.
 
You can color the barn any color, but the correct color is red. Doesn’t ring a bell. O.K. It didn’t when i heard it, too. To your question, is it lust? Yes! I realize that it goes against what the majority have posted.

In truth, you are giving yourself permission to look at all manner of “colorfull” images. These same images, whose sales and circulation, depends on people like you rationalizing its acceptability.

Knowingly, all the outlets you have mention are interested in only things of the earth, not in heavenly worth.
 
I know this might not be the right thread but Its better to just ask you guys who could answer this without starting a new thread but. her goes the story.
I work at Mcdonalds as a casual while I go to High School No I will not stay there I doubt I will stay longer then another 2 months, but today I was working 6am-3pm and everything was going good until about until this manager I dont like came in and was there well teh otehr managers one left at 1pm the other at 2 pm so I was working with him, anyways at the end it was 3.10pm and I asked to go home he said No, you need to do all of this stuff he showed me a few thigns I was angry because I had to stay back another 5min but Ok fine I rushed it and finfished it all but one thing, I went out to him told him he said just chnage the bin bags this got me angrier, rushing I took the bags out the back and I let the back door shut which you cant open from the outside, you can walk around to the front but no one does people just ring the bell someone opens teh door, but I rang the bell once then again then again OK finnaly someone opened the door, I walked in started taking new bags and there he comes, yelling at me "Dont ever ever do that again I have customers out the front " and walks off slams his office door, and that was it I was angry you know when you get angry and you fell like really bad and you just sort of get tears in your eyes, I walked out of the washroom where the bags were and put them in the bins, and I threw the bin or slid it hard at the fryer because I was angry and he came to me he said, If you are pissed off at me tell me, I said yes I am I explained to him and I just colcked off and started walking to the change room hes behind me talking and I walk in and he opens the door and just says something I wasnt really listening and I say Sorry to him he says no Im sorry for shouting gives me a hand shake, hugs me says calm down I love you man, and tells me to get a drink on the way out, I was done I was walking past his office and I say Cya he says come here says sorry again handshake and tells me to get something to eat or drink and to calm down.
And its all over, but I was wondering if any of this sounds starnge, like the Hug?, I dont know should I worry or leave it?, I dont mean like sue or anything LOL! but should I tell the priest or nothign?, now im scared because a guy hugged me??
 
I have posted a reply on this thread before. I have just read somthing that you might like and it may help you.
Go on Yahoo and put in Christopher West & Nudity when the pages come up you can click on Welcome to Christopher West’s Web Page and that tells you about the Cystine Chapel. There is another page called Theology of the Body an Overview by Jim Seghers.

Read it I think it will help answer your question.

Mayo
 
I thought lust and the entertainment of impure thoughts are not necessarily the same thing. Lust is intense desire (some say desire with actual intent) for fornication, adultery, etc. Entertainment of impure thoughts in which men or women are objectified don’t necessarily include desire and are, therefore, not necessarily lust.
 
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