LUST

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The greatest danger with lust is that it becomes addictive for many people (for the most part, men). Because the programs you are CHOOSING to watch could lead to such addiction (which you clearly have expressed is physical versus spiritual) it would be better to choose to focus on your wife FIRST, instead of only after you see other sexy women. Better yet, it would be best to choose to watch programs that wouldn’t cause sexual distraction to such a degree.

Women have a way of sensing whether a partner is drawn to them mainly as a result of having seen OTHER WOMEN FIRST, or because THEY were desired first. Overall, the former tends to cause serious communicaton barriers not to mention also sexual in the long run.

Therefore, my answer is "Even though you deny it and/or don’t seem to recognize it, you clearly do appear to be lusting for these women, who ONLY AFTER YOU SEE THEM, remind you that your wife is just as good – or at least a handy outlet for the relief the other women have made you desire.

The thought of being a handy outlet is hardly flattering to most women.
 
Curious, what I see is that, when you feel an impulse to lust, you smother it with loving thoughts of your wife. And I think that’s an excellent way to handle it!

The only way it could possibly be sinful is if your thoughts of your wife were purely lustful - as in using her to “scratch an itch,” so to speak. But you say “making love,” so it doesn’t sound like it to me.

Ruthie
 
Sorry to revive this thread but seeing as I have posted in it before and it is depressing to see the downfall I have had.

Over the past 2 years I have increasingly been looking at pornography and which in turn has been causing Lust and that in turn causing masturbation. I just cant seem to get past it it just seems to be getting worse, last time when I posted in 07 in this thread I could go 1-2 months without masturbation or pornography now I have come down to 1.5 weeks and I dont know what to do to help. I pray every night, I pray to St Michael I go to church every Sunday and I am embarased going to confession each Sunday saying the same things over the past 3 years. It is as though I have let go of myself and allowed this to happend in particular I have noticed when I masturbate now or look at pornography I dont get that sense of guilt I did 3 years ago which helped me keep away from it.

Please help Im not sure what to do anymore I am disgusted with myself yet keep falling into the temptation and dont know what to do.
 
dazzi said:
Sorry to revive this thread but seeing as I have posted in it before and it is depressing to see the downfall I have had.

Over the past 2 years I have increasingly been looking at pornography and which in turn has been causing Lust and that in turn causing masturbation. I just cant seem to get past it it just seems to be getting worse, last time when I posted in 07 in this thread I could go 1-2 months without masturbation or pornography now I have come down to 1.5 weeks and I dont know what to do to help. I pray every night, I pray to St Michael I go to church every Sunday and I am embarased going to confession each Sunday saying the same things over the past 3 years. It is as though I have let go of myself and allowed this to happend in particular I have noticed when I masturbate now or look at pornography I dont get that sense of guilt I did 3 years ago which helped me keep away from it.

Please help Im not sure what to do anymore I am disgusted with myself yet keep falling into the temptation and dont know what to do.
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I found this on line, it is a Christian support group for those who have addictions. There are others as well, just do a search. I have read on other forums that these groups helped very much. Don’t give up!

safefamilies.org/pastorindividualstep6.php

PS - As far as what you wrote about the guy hugging you because he said he was sorry – you can be cautious, it may or may not be a signal of a problem.
 
Ahhh that issue was years ago now :P, I am a much different person now which is good Im not as picky about what is a sin and what isnt, but the lust has gotten far worse.

I must mention I want to try and beat this privately if possible because my Family and others will be disgusted in me and probably never talk to me the same way again as we are a religious family.

I want to take care of the porn first and then beat the masturbation.
 
dazzi said:
Ahhh that issue was years ago now :P, I am a much different person now which is good Im not as picky about what is a sin and what isnt, but the lust has gotten far worse.

I must mention I want to try and beat this privately if possible because my Family and others will be disgusted in me and probably never talk to me the same way again as we are a religious family.

I want to take care of the porn first and then beat the masturbation.
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Bless you, my friend. To acknowledge it is the first step to fighting it.

One thing that really got me on the right track was admitting to God, “I’m a sinner. I fall. I need You!”

God loves you more than you will ever know. He understands the difficulty. He knows in your heart you are trying.

We all slip up at times. I’m an 18-year-old male in college, you think I have it any easier? Ha! If only it was easier!

Have you talked to your priest about these sins being habits? Habits are difficult to break, and may reduce your culpability (I know that is a part of the Church’s teaching on masturbation. Porn I’m not so sure on.)

That being said, we are constantly called to fight it. For most guys our age, including us two, this is going to be the main front in our war with sin.

We fall sometimes, like I said. It’s frustrating. I remember falling a few times and I was just like, “Oh…come on, pull yourself together!”

Understand that these sins are offensive to God’s love, and just think, “Lord, I did wrong here, but I still love you, and I will try my best to avoid these sins and I will make a confession as soon as possible,” and then say an act of contrition. Then get to confession (usually it’s best to go on Saturday.)

This battle will never end until we breath our last breath. It’s okay to realize we fall sometimes, and if you fall sometimes, it doesn’t make you a bad person. Make an honest confession, and move on.

This Sunday is Divine Mercy Sunday, and Christ speaks of total redemption this Sunday. I want you to go to this site:

thedivinemercy.org/message/

Its message is one that changed my life, and I think it can change yours.
 
I am 41, studying Nursing at Notre Dame University in Perth, Western Australia… this is a CATHOLIC University.

I had confession during the Easter period at my campus… I spoke at length with the Priest in regards to this issue…

The amount of beautiful women who unfortunately wear revealing clothes on campus… and the Priest said I know its hard… you just have to realise when you are thinking these thoughts to change gear… and think of God and his creation.

Lust will always be with us… it is a byproduct of “original sin”… you just don’t wont to embrace it…

I just wish women realised that wearing feminine clothes, full length dresses or a long skirt and top are more “sexy” to a man than seeing cleavage… it is what you don’t see that is attractive to a man… the mystery that is women… for it tells everyone also you are saving or withholding that for your husband to be and only him…

What I’m trying to say is just don’t bash yourself mentally when you find yourself in this position from time to time… stop, evaluate and yes, turn away if you cannot stop looking and thinking about it…

God knows your heart, he knows it’s not easy… and he understands how hard it is today in this world of the self and materialism.
 
What the main issue is now, I am not feeling like its a sin, 3 or 4 years ago whenever I masturbated etc I would just feel a sense of guilt afterwards and wouldn’t do it for atleast a month or even 4 months at one point, and the feeling I got coming out of confession, that sigh of relief like some weight has been shed of my shoulders, that too is gone, I go in there and come out and I don’t feel any different as if this were nothing which is quite sad knowing that I was doing so well in 2007 and had promised myself by that Xmas that I would never do it again and I felt I was on that path, now Ive hit rock bottom in terms of this and Im worried my life will end in this sin and it would mean hell.
 
“my life will end in this sin and it would mean hell”

This is your motivation. You realize the gravity of the sin. Focus on that.
Ultimately, we have to make a knowing, deliberate, and voluntary choice to commit mortal sin.

You made positive choices for a four month period. You can do it again.
 
dazzi said:
What the main issue is now, I am not feeling like its a sin, 3 or 4 years ago whenever I masturbated etc I would just feel a sense of guilt afterwards and wouldn’t do it for atleast a month or even 4 months at one point, and the feeling I got coming out of confession, that sigh of relief like some weight has been shed of my shoulders, that too is gone, I go in there and come out and I don’t feel any different as if this were nothing which is quite sad knowing that I was doing so well in 2007 and had promised myself by that Xmas that I would never do it again and I felt I was on that path, now Ive hit rock bottom in terms of this and Im worried my life will end in this sin and it would mean hell.
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Dazzi : I hope this might help. I see you promised “yourself”, might you try promising God instead? Do you realize how this offends Him? Look at the cross and remind yourself How much He loves you. You don’t need to understand why this offends God all you need to do is admit it does. And if you Love the Lord your God with all your heart,soul,mind and strength you will also be offended by the sin. Say a rosary with his Mom every day take her by the hand tell her how much you love him and need her prayers. She will lead you closer to him than you can imagine.

I fully understand your situation and pray for you as well.👍

In Jesus
jim
 
Don’t despair, dazzi. God has blessed you with determination and, although you may not feel it now, be strong and pray for God’s grace to continue. The poster in front of me mentioned the rosary and I second this. It is powerful and certainly changed my life, and I know it can change yours. Satan only wants you to think the situation is worse than it really is. Pray to St. Michael to help you see through this haze, and know that no matter how hopeless it may seem, you cannot lose God because He is eternally forgivingDon’t let the devil get the best of you, and I am praying for you.

Ian Raphael
 
You may or may not be addicted to lust (sex). These things I’ve learned…
Lust drives sex addiction. We are often addicted to lust and act it out in a sexual way. We accumulate lust hits throughout the day and then the brain signals to act out with self, spouse or others. If you are struggling with this I suggest you seek the help of a sex addiction certified counselor for recommendations. This problem has spiritual, psychological and physiological components. All three need to be addressed with the help of experienced resources. This addiction is progressive. Install a filter on your PC to eliminate porn. Porn will accelerate the addiction. Avoid trying to work this out by yourself. Be cautious of seeking help from well meaning people that do not understand the complexity and ramifications of this addiction. You will be wasting time & postponing true recovery. You need an objective party that has experience helping others. Recommendation: Find a (1) Catholic priest spiritual director experienced in helping addicts, (2) consider joining a 12 step group (ie. Sexaholics Anonymous) and (3) have an experienced therapist successfully treating sex addicts. You are in my prayer. Please pray for me as I continue on the road of recovery.
 
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