Lying - Is it Ever Acceptable?

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If circumstances coupled with intent make a person less culpable or not culpable at all, then to me it’s a rhetorical issue whether it is a “sin” that God is unlikely to punish, or whether it isn’t a “sin” at all. Seems to me it signifies the same condition of the spirit, as far as we can presume to understand the mind of God, and results in the same judgment and “sentence.” Potayto, potahto. Hatfields and the McCoys. :slapfight:

Alan
Well, whether it is a sin or not is the exact question. And the way to determine if it is a sin is to determine if the circumstances are such that all the requirements for an action are present or not. If they are not present then there is no sin against God. I think we are saying the same thing.
 
Well, whether it is a sin or not is the exact question. And the way to determine if it is a sin is to determine if the circumstances are such that all the requirements for an action are present or not. If they are not present then there is no sin against God. I think we are saying the same thing.
That is a question that is on the table. The problem I have with that, is that I thought one of the circumstances was intent, which we cannot know except by guessing.

To the question of whether “lying is ever acceptable,” I think that whether or not it is technically a “sin,” or a “lie” or both, I hope we can all agree that to classify it according to the best of our human knowledge does not likely factor into whether God would be pleased or displeased with our decision – I would assume this it the real test of acceptability, unless a different test is specified.

Alan
 
Example of when lying is permitted…

“Do these pants make my butt look big?”

NO! :rolleyes:😛
 
That is a question that is on the table. The problem I have with that, is that I thought one of the circumstances was intent, which we cannot know except by guessing.

To the question of whether “lying is ever acceptable,” I think that whether or not it is technically a “sin,” or a “lie” or both, I hope we can all agree that to classify it according to the best of our human knowledge does not likely factor into whether God would be pleased or displeased with our decision – I would assume this it the real test of acceptability, unless a different test is specified.

Alan
Though we do not know God’s thoughts, we have to have some barometer as to what is good and what is evil. God does not leave us in the dark. That is why we need the Magesterium to guide us. And I don’t think the Catechism speaks to the Nazi situation.

The main example that has been used is the Nazi example. There is no guessing that the intent of those “lying” to save the lives of others is one of good, one of love. I believe this intent shows clearly that the requirements for a lie to be sinful are not met. I and other posters have pointed out the clear context of the Catechism does not speak to the situation of murderers asking for your truthful response. It is a question whose intent is in itself evil.
 
I was talking about the “lying situation” thing with a buddy of mine today. He gave me this situation.

A smoker, desperate to quit and on day three of quitting, asks you, a smoker, for a cigarette. You have some. What would you do? What if it’s a alcoholic asking you for booze? Clearly, if you had a shred of decency, you’d lie and say you don’t.

It’s one thing to be sitting in front of our computers and say we’re morally superior because we would “never, ever lie-regardless…no sir, not me.” But I hope if someone came to my house asking for a Jewish family in 1930’s Germany, or in the situation above, I’d blatantly lie. I don’t think God would really care…Or, if He did, I’d have to explain to the life of a Jew in the holocaust didn’t mean anything-nor did my friends sobriety.
But why lie? Why not simply say ‘sorry, I’m not going to help you smoke/drink yourself to death’. Is that not equally a form of love as the convenient lie? You can tell the truth in love. Jesus was often harsh in His criticism of His opponents, but never failed in His love of them nonetheless.

As for feeling ‘morally superior’, I resent that implication. I’m tempted to lie all too often, and regrettably fall in the face of that temptation all too often as well, to be feeling morally superior about anything.

On the contrary, it’s the ones advocating lying who are positing themselves as morally superior, by claiming, or at least seriously implying, that somehow those who don’t believe that lieing is acceptable are necessarily deficient in love or pharisaic. As if perfect love cannot or should not be combined with perfect obedience to the Law - Jesus certainly combined both.
 
But why lie? Why not simply say ‘sorry, I’m not going to help you smoke/drink yourself to death’. Is that not equally a form of love as the convenient lie? You can tell the truth in love. Jesus was often harsh in His criticism of His opponents, but never failed in His love of them nonetheless.
My first reaction is "here’s why I might tell a convenient lie. Frankly, I might not have the social skills and the facility of words that some other people have. I might have always had a “sinner’s brotherhood” with the person, and now suddenly I’m going to behave as his guardian rather than fellow sinner. That is quite an emotional and logical about-face, which many people, intelligent and relatively articulate people, may have a rough time making without sounding condescending or controlling.

Maybe we could have figured out a better approach if we had said, “do I have cigarettes? Ummm… let me think about it, and I’ll let you know in a few minutes.” Just like to other scenarios, it is about our limitations to think of exactly the right words on the spot.

Besides, as long as we’re splitting hairs about telling the ABSOLUTE truth, then who’s to say I was lying when I said I didn’t have any cigarettes? As far as my friend is concerned, and as far as I’m concerned, I don’t have any for him. For all intents and purposes he needs to know, I don’t have any.

So really, unless you get into it with every communication and make absolutely certain you are defining your terms properly, operating under the same world view and model of the situation, and address every possible way that something can be misunderstood, then have you done “due diligence” to communicate a statement that is absolutely true in all circumstances, that no lawyer could break apart? If you are truly an absolutist, then you must consider these things or you are picking and choosing “how likely to be right” you are in any given situation.
As for feeling ‘morally superior’, I resent that implication. I’m tempted to lie all too often, and regrettably fall in the face of that temptation all too often as well, to be feeling morally superior about anything.
I don’t know if you feel morally superior, but that is certainly a reasonable conclusion a friend might come to if you’ve been smoking together for 10 years and suddenly one time you say, “I know you are trying to quit so I’m not going to give them to you.” Basically you are suddenly switching faces and becoming your friend’s keeper. So much for that relationship, and for trust. Built on lies, you say? What kind of relationship was that to begin with? Well, maybe it was the closest friend I had. Not all of us have perfect, pristine relationships that could not be damaged no matter how unpredictable or condescending I come across.

It isn’t about whether you feel morally superior, it’s about whether the other person perceives you as such. Hmm… if you communicate through your words and actions that you feel morally superior, then isn’t that a type of lie, too? Again, absolutism must work even in extreme cases.

My point there is that human interpersonal communication, specifically verbal, can never be 100% fully understood, so if we are worried about never saying anything that may not be construed as a lie, then we must never speak any words at all, and talk only God’s language, which is silence.
On the contrary, it’s the ones advocating lying who are positing themselves as morally superior, by claiming, or at least seriously implying, that somehow those who don’t believe that lieing is acceptable are necessarily deficient in love or pharisaic. As if perfect love cannot or should not be combined with perfect obedience to the Law - Jesus certainly combined both.
Jesus hung around sinners and drunks and losers and outcasts. Do you really think that He, with His perfect love, made friends with them by telling them what they should and should not be doing? When they behaved in a way contrary to the law, Jesus not only failed to admonish them, he chastised those who noticed their sins and called it to Jesus’s attention.

About “perfect obedience,” let’s get real. Jesus has an unfair advantage in that department. If I were God, then I could not only pick and choose my words to be as specific as I want, I could use my loving presence to help condition the other person’s mind to be able to hear it. I know of no professional, even psychologists, who could pass this test. Basically you are saying we have to be perfect – while not coming across as morally superior. Jesus is our ideal, but we live in a world of partial successes and limited capabilities, and we have to work with what we’ve got. If Jesus is the only measure whose example we must live up to or we are to be condemned, then there is no hope for any of us, and all of us fall short. That’s why He had to die, so we could quit holding ourselves to impossible, absolute standards in a futile effort to “earn” salvation.

Also, on the “perfect obedience” topic, if I behaved in such a way that offended another based on their own weak consciences, like Jesus did when he healed and picked grain on the sabbath, etc. does that mean He was causing others to stumble, (ref 1 Cor 10:23-31) and if so, should we follow his example?

These are the kinds of impossible barriers and logical gymnastics you can expect when you try to go around being absolute about behavior codes.

Alan
 
I have another question for absolutists. Is it a lie to pretend to be something you really aren’t?

What if you pretend to be the slave of another?

What if you are a chameloen, taking on the characteristics and value systems of whomever you are around?

Are we not taught, in no uncertain terms, that we are to be proper and true, and must not change our ways of behaving to adapt to those people around us?

Then what do you make of this?
1 Cor 9:19-23:
Although I am free in regard to all, I have made myself a slave to all so as to win over as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew to win over Jews; to those under the law I became like one under the law–though I myself am not under the law–to win over those under the law. To those outside the law I became like one outside the law–though I am not outside God’s law but within the law of Christ–to win over those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, to win over the weak. I have become all things to all, to save at least some. All this I do for the sake of the gospel, so that I too may have a share in it.
Does it not sound like obedience and truth are relative, depending on those around us?

Alan
 
My first reaction is "here’s why I might tell a convenient lie. Frankly, I might not have the social skills and the facility of words that some other people have. I might have always had a “sinner’s brotherhood” with the person, and now suddenly I’m going to behave as his guardian rather than fellow sinner. That is quite an emotional and logical about-face, which many people, intelligent and relatively articulate people, may have a rough time making without sounding condescending or controlling.
Yes, it can sound condescending or controlling. I would be willing to bet my house that Jesus also sounded condescending and controlling to those who didn’t want to hear His message. That’s why many left Him when He started speaking truth that was too hard and harsh for them.

The typical dismissive comment about Him, remember, was ‘who does this man think he is?’ In other words ‘who does he think he is to be telling us what to do?’ - a sure sign that those saying so perceived Him to be condescending and controlling, more than a little bit ‘holier than thou’. 🤷

Since He was so easily misconstrued, then rest assured that nothing you can do will really ultimately make a Godly message more palatable to those who don’t want to listen. ‘If the world hates you, remember it hated me first’. That being the case, why compromise the Godliness in a useless effort to make the message reach a wider audience?
Besides, as long as we’re splitting hairs about telling the ABSOLUTE truth, then who’s to say I was lying when I said I didn’t have any cigarettes? As far as my friend is concerned, and as far as I’m concerned, I don’t have any for him. For all intents and purposes he needs to know, I don’t have any.
For all intents and purposes that GOD needs to know, which is ALL intents and purposes, you do have cigarettes. You’re not just speaking to or for your friend, remember. You may be able to pull the wool over your friend’s eyes, at least until he spies the odd cigarette-pack-shaped bulge in your trouser pocket and catches you out in your lie, but not over God’s.
So really, unless you get into it with every communication and make absolutely certain you are defining your terms properly, operating under the same world view and model of the situation, and address every possible way that something can be misunderstood, then have you done “due diligence” to communicate a statement that is absolutely true in all circumstances, that no lawyer could break apart? If you are truly an absolutist, then you must consider these things or you are picking and choosing “how likely to be right” you are in any given situation.
We’re not all called on to be lawyers, and God knows oftentimes even we lawyers can’t think too fast on our feet. But we don’t need to treat lying as a viable and totally blameless option either.
I don’t know if you feel morally superior, but that is certainly a reasonable conclusion a friend might come to if you’ve been smoking together for 10 years and suddenly one time you say, “I know you are trying to quit so I’m not going to give them to you.” Basically you are suddenly switching faces and becoming your friend’s keeper. So much for that relationship, and for trust. Built on lies, you say? What kind of relationship was that to begin with? Well, maybe it was the closest friend I had. Not all of us have perfect, pristine relationships that could not be damaged no matter how unpredictable or condescending I come across.
It isn’t about whether you feel morally superior, it’s about whether the other person perceives you as such. Hmm… if you communicate through your words and actions that you feel morally superior, then isn’t that a type of lie, too? Again, absolutism must work even in extreme cases.
My point there is that human interpersonal communication, specifically verbal, can never be 100% fully understood, so if we are worried about never saying anything that may not be construed as a lie, then we must never speak any words at all, and talk only God’s language, which is silence.
Jesus hung around sinners and drunks and losers and outcasts. Do you really think that He, with His perfect love, made friends with them by telling them what they should and should not be doing? When they behaved in a way contrary to the law, Jesus not only failed to admonish them, he chastised those who noticed their sins and called it to Jesus’s attention.
Yep, He really failed to admonish the woman caught in adultery - ‘Go and sin no more!’
He failed to admonish Peter - ‘Get behind me Satan!’
He failed to admonish Judas - ‘Better that man had never been born!’
He failed to admonish those who follow my trade - ‘Woe to you lawyers!’
He failed to admonish the poor man who only wanted to bury his dead father - ‘Leave the dead to bury their dead!’
He failed to admonish the pharisees who failed to combine their great obedience with great love - ‘Whited sepulchres!’

When, in fact, did He really fail to admonish any sinner? ‘If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off!’ He admonished, and admonishes, ALL of us in the strongest possible terms.
Basically you are saying we have to be perfect
Yes, and not just me. “Be ye perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect”. You think it’s impossible? With His help? Of course it isn’t.
 
Yes, it can sound condescending or controlling. I would be willing to bet my house that Jesus also sounded condescending and controlling to those who didn’t want to hear His message. That’s why many left Him when He started speaking truth that was too hard and harsh for them.
If He was condescending, and came across as such, then He would know that absolutely. God condescended to make Jesus in the image of a man. I don’t know that I see anything Jesus said to other men as “condescending,” in the way I normally use the term.
The typical dismissive comment about Him, remember, was ‘who does this man think he is?’ In other words ‘who does he think he is to be telling us what to do?’ - a sure sign that those saying so perceived Him to be condescending and controlling, more than a little bit ‘holier than thou’. 🤷
I see that more as arrogant, grandiose, blasphemous or delusional, but not condescending or controlling. Maybe I would have seen it differently if I were there at the time.
Since He was so easily misconstrued, then rest assured that nothing you can do will really ultimately make a Godly message more palatable to those who don’t want to listen. ‘If the world hates you, remember it hated me first’. That being the case, why compromise the Godliness in a useless effort to make the message reach a wider audience?
If He was so easily misconstrued in His time, why do we think that now we can know absolutely what He meant by the things He said? At least in a literal sense, that is.
For all intents and purposes that GOD needs to know, which is ALL intents and purposes, you do have cigarettes. You’re not just speaking to or for your friend, remember. You may be able to pull the wool over your friend’s eyes, at least until he spies the odd cigarette-pack-shaped bulge in your trouser pocket and catches you out in your lie, but not over God’s.
I have to take issue with your reasoning here. I challenge you to come up with any truthful statement that you believe to be factual, and then make the claim the even God could not find a loophole or a situation beyond the applicability of the statement, that nullifies the statement’s unconditional truth. I’ll even give you as many qualifiers as you want. If I were trying to meet this challenge myself, I bet I’d have dozens of qualifiers.

For example, I doubt any normal person would disagree with my assertion that, “the sun is hot.” Try to tell that to God, though, and it becomes presumptuous. I suspect He might just treat you like He did Job in Job 37-40.

In another way, what if my honest, knee jerk reaction was, “no, not for you,” but it didn’t sink in that I was holding back. I was completely honest, he assumed something different. Is that a lie?

Again, when we’re dealing with absolute statements, we must consider every and all possible exceptions.
We’re not all called on to be lawyers, and God knows oftentimes even we lawyers can’t think too fast on our feet. But we don’t need to treat lying as a viable and totally blameless option either.
Agreed. I have not seen any claims to the contrary.
When, in fact, did He really fail to admonish any sinner? ‘If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off!’ He admonished, and admonishes, ALL of us in the strongest possible terms.
If Jesus was talking figuratively by those commands, isn’t that a lie? People thought He was advocating self-mutilation. It isn’t because they were stupid, it’s because Jesus said something that was provocative and, well, let’s face it … misleading. He said it to make a point, not to be literally correct IMO. How can there be objective truth in metaphor and exaggeration?

That said, I’ll answer your question. When one person called another on a sinful act, He not only failed to admonish the sinner, but he chastised the one doing the observation. Examples: picking grain on the sabbath, and eating without ceremonial washing. In the latter example especially, they were breaking the law for no greater good or no avoidance of greater evil, as far as I can tell. Jesus stood up for them when they were called on it.

Makes me think if our duty is to tell another person when he sins, then once we do so Jesus might just stand up against me and tell me about the plank in my own eye.
Yes, and not just me. “Be ye perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect”. You think it’s impossible? With His help? Of course it isn’t.
That’s why I do not like to rely too heavily on the literal meaning of scripture. For centuries, scholars eminently more knowledgeable than me have argued about the specific interpretation, and all one has to do is look at more than one “Catholic” Bible versions and can see rhetorical contradictions.

I’m much more interested in the deeper senses of the scripture, which transform me and let God in to renew my mind and heart. Once this renewal begins to take place, I simply don’t have to worry about any rules anymore. The “living” rules have been written on my heart since I was conceived, and if we allow the Word to penetrate our conscious defenses, He will reprogram us so that we can access and benefit from those living rules.

Here’s one way to describe it. A guru lives in a house with a guard shack in the driveway. A messenger comes in with a message for the guru, and says, “confidential for the guru.” The guard opens the message, and determines whether the message is true and of sufficient value to let it go through to the guru. In a similar way, our obsession with defining and arguing about the literal meaning of this and that, and absolute truths and the like, actually erect barriers against penetration by the Word.

Give me a Lectio Divina prayer group anytime, instead of a Bible study.

Thank you again. As always, I enjoy these conversations. 🙂

Peace,
Alan
 
I forgot an important part of my analogy to the guard and guru.

The guru is the heart, to which the messenger longs to speak in ways only the heart could properly respond. The guard in the shack is the conscious mind, trying to analyze what is really meant literally and evaluating it. You could even have more than one guard who don’t agree about the meaning, if you want.

Alan
 
I think the question is: What is most important… Truth, Justice, or Love? Justice and Love stand on their own. I can’t think of an extreme situation where injustice or being unloving would ever be acceptable. Whereas, being untruthful, can indeed serve a good purpose.

Certainly, in the Nazi example, one would expect a good Christian to try to honor all three. But the situation is so extreme that one of the three must be mitigated or sacrificed. If all are equal, then to not lie would serve the truth but violate justice and love. To lie would be an act of love and serve justice but not be truthful.

The Catechism says that a lie consists of speaking a falsehood with the intention of deceiving.
This seems very simplictic to me and leaves so many questions.

There are many things we could point to where the Law Giver did not explicitly state in the written tradition. Although the Church does seem to lean toward most of Augustine’s teachings, the Catechism is not at all clear on this subject. What is clear is that almost every comment on the subject of lying from 2475 to 2489 seems to be directed towards hurting or being an injustice to your neighbor who deserves your veracity. This is the requirement which is lacking in the Nazi/murderer example. Though every human being is our neighbor, we certainly would not regard murderers searching for their next victims as deserving of the truth nor would they be hurt, nor would they be deserving of an apology.
The definition provided has a very long history and is actually quite complex. It addresses all the considerations of the human act in a very tight and concise definition. The point is very clear when we understand the full argumentation for the definition. The Catechism does not provide this because that is not its purpose. But, yes there are still many questions. However, we haven’t touched on them. The real question has to do with the definition provided for lying. Is an alternate definition acceptable? I’m not sure. What I am sure about is that the definition cannot be: “to lie is to deliberately speak a falsehood with the intention to deceive, unless you have a really good reason.”
 
Sorry I’ve been away. Busy with school work.

So, let me first clear up a problem here. The traditional position on lying has been characterized as a type of legalism that is opposed to the Christian dispensation. This would be true if the statement “it is never permissible to lie” was a norm derived from human positive law. However this is not the case. The argument is rooted in the natural moral law which has God as its author. This point may be more important than I have considered in the past. Perhaps this is because many people see the moral law is something that is imposed from outside by some agent. However, this is not the classical, i.e., Catholic, way of understanding morality. Something is only a valid moral norm if it is consistent with the Natural Moral Law (which is a function of the way the world is), and Divine Law. These immutable “laws” are not imposed from without but are functions of the way that existence is and the way that God is.

This is important because, I think, we have been looking at the notion of lying as if it were simply incorrect information. This is only part of the issue. The more important issue is the positive notion. What is truth? First we have to understand what truth is so that we can understand what violations against truth are. But, we can’t understand truth unless we understand Truth. What I mean by this is that ‘true speaking/acting/etc.’ is rooted in and inseparable from ‘true being’.

So, we have to step back, first and see what a violation of a moral norm actually is. The violation of a moral norm is not a detached ethereal thing. Rather, it is an act of violence against the natural order. Why? Simply because, authentic moral norms are derived from the natural order. This is very different than, say, American Law which is arbitrary. It does not root itself in the natures of things.

In this way we begin to see what is so bad about immoral actions (or sins as we like to call them). Each immoral action is one that goes against the intended structure of reality as God has designed it. If we don’t understand this basic reality then we can’t make any sense out of Original Sin. If the violation of moral norms was not an ontological problem then Adam’s sin could not have effected both all of creation and all of his children. This is also why no sins are truly private. Each immoral act effects the world in which we live.

So, hopefully we can begin to see that speaking truth is rooted in being true and that if we speak falsely then we are doing violence to the very being of our person but also to the very being (the very existence) of the person to whom we lie. This is what underlies authentic Catholic moral deliberation. There is an intrinsic link between ‘acting’ and ‘being’. Perhaps the best way to put it is that when we act contrary to nature we deprive it of a perfection that it is due. The result of this deprivation is that more and more deprivation enters into the world because repairing the deprivation becomes more and more difficult. This is why ‘societal sins’ are nearly impossible for a particular society to detect. This just might be the reason why we are having such a bad time with this issue. Lying is such a part of everyone’s day to day life and the functioning of our very State that we can’t conceive of a world where lying would not be permissible in some way.

A good example was provided above. A husband telling his wife that what she is wearing looks good (or makes her look good) thought it doesn’t in order to “keep the peace.” This is satirized all the time. It is considered permissible. However, I would argue that it is a horrible thing to do to your wife. You are letting her go out in public to be ridiculed and laughed at by a lot of people just to preserve your own piece of emotional happiness. This is not a virtue, rather, it is the vice of cowardice which leads to the commission of the vice of lying. If the wife isn’t open to her husband being honest with her then she has succumbed to, at least, the vice of vanity but also the vice of vainglory. I mean, how many sins are committed in that single moment so one person can feel emotionally secure. Such actions are not Christian, they are Pagan - pure and simple; and not even good Pagan behavior.

The point is, we must first begin with the nature of Truth before we can even know why lying is always evil.
 
Sorry I’ve been away. Busy with school work.

So, let me first clear up a problem here. The traditional position on lying has been characterized as a type of legalism that is opposed to the Christian dispensation. This would be true if the statement “it is never permissible to lie” was a norm derived from human positive law. However this is not the case. The argument is rooted in the natural moral law which has God as its author. This point may be more important than I have considered in the past. Perhaps this is because many people see the moral law is something that is imposed from outside by some agent. However, this is not the classical, i.e., Catholic, way of understanding morality. Something is only a valid moral norm if it is consistent with the Natural Moral Law (which is a function of the way the world is), and Divine Law. These immutable “laws” are not imposed from without but are functions of the way that existence is and the way that God is.

This is important because, I think, we have been looking at the notion of lying as if it were simply incorrect information. This is only part of the issue. The more important issue is the positive notion. What is truth? First we have to understand what truth is so that we can understand what violations against truth are. But, we can’t understand truth unless we understand Truth. What I mean by this is that ‘true speaking/acting/etc.’ is rooted in and inseparable from ‘true being’.

So, we have to step back, first and see what a violation of a moral norm actually is. The violation of a moral norm is not a detached ethereal thing. Rather, it is an act of violence against the natural order. Why? Simply because, authentic moral norms are derived from the natural order. This is very different than, say, American Law which is arbitrary. It does not root itself in the natures of things.

In this way we begin to see what is so bad about immoral actions (or sins as we like to call them). Each immoral action is one that goes against the intended structure of reality as God has designed it. If we don’t understand this basic reality then we can’t make any sense out of Original Sin. If the violation of moral norms was not an ontological problem then Adam’s sin could not have effected both all of creation and all of his children. This is also why no sins are truly private. Each immoral act effects the world in which we live.

So, hopefully we can begin to see that speaking truth is rooted in being true and that if we speak falsely then we are doing violence to the very being of our person but also to the very being (the very existence) of the person to whom we lie. This is what underlies authentic Catholic moral deliberation. There is an intrinsic link between ‘acting’ and ‘being’. Perhaps the best way to put it is that when we act contrary to nature we deprive it of a perfection that it is due. The result of this deprivation is that more and more deprivation enters into the world because repairing the deprivation becomes more and more difficult. This is why ‘societal sins’ are nearly impossible for a particular society to detect. This just might be the reason why we are having such a bad time with this issue. Lying is such a part of everyone’s day to day life and the functioning of our very State that we can’t conceive of a world where lying would not be permissible in some way.

A good example was provided above. A husband telling his wife that what she is wearing looks good (or makes her look good) thought it doesn’t in order to “keep the peace.” This is satirized all the time. It is considered permissible. However, I would argue that it is a horrible thing to do to your wife. You are letting her go out in public to be ridiculed and laughed at by a lot of people just to preserve your own piece of emotional happiness. This is not a virtue, rather, it is the vice of cowardice which leads to the commission of the vice of lying. If the wife isn’t open to her husband being honest with her then she has succumbed to, at least, the vice of vanity but also the vice of vainglory. I mean, how many sins are committed in that single moment so one person can feel emotionally secure. Such actions are not Christian, they are Pagan - pure and simple; and not even good Pagan behavior.

The point is, we must first begin with the nature of Truth before we can even know why lying is always evil.
Wonderful analysis 👍

Of course the people advocating exceptions to the ‘lying is never permissible’ rule will point out that telling one’s wife that she looks OK when he really thinks she doesn’t is a trivial example. And really it is - after all, people have very different taste in clothes, hers will probably be shared by others of the public. It would be a rare example where she is truly wearing something that is inescapably hideous.

The advocates of a watered-down rule would bring up situations like the lying-to-the-Nazis-to-save-Jews scenario. I think for all of us it’s much harder to see the goods that come from maintaining a commitment to truth in such a situation, as opposed to the more obvious (and hence more attractive and comfortable) idea of good involved in saving someone’s life.

But that’s not to say that they aren’t there. And many people use similar arguments in terms of justifying, say, IVF. The obvious good of bringing a child into the world is seen by many to outweigh the more abstract, hence less comprehensible, goods of maintaining the union of procreative and unitive purposes which is God’s plan for sex and reproduction.
 
First, none of us know what we will do in the Nazi hypothetical or armed stalker hypothetical until we are in such a situation. Until then, it is only hypothetical for us individually.

That said, I am saddened that so many of the Catholics on this thread give more weight to mortal life than eternal life. While it may feel immoral to not lie to the Nazi/stalker knowing that death may follow, I’m certain that it is at least as moral as lying with the intent of preserving mortal life.

“Don’t eat it or you will surely die…” (God)
“Bah, you won’t die…just eat it.” (er…not God)

As we all well know by now, sickness and death entered the world that day, mortal and immortal. In the Nazi/stalker example, death will certainly be the outcome…but will it be the mortal death of the intended victim or immortal suicide by a well-intentioned friend?

“but, but, at least the immortal suicide can go to confession…” Hmmm.

Frankly, if I and my loved ones are ever hiding and you, my protector, are interrogated by the killer, I would certainly value your sanctity over my mortality. Our mortal lives, while precious, are not the goal of our existence. Some believe that God won’t care if you lie at that moment. I believe that He cares about every thought and utterance. I believe that He values our trust in His providence and our earnest striving for holiness more than He values our mortal bodies. I also believe that He has infinite mercy and takes all situations into account. However, I don’t believe we should presume mercy to ease our consciences.

Try this one on:

Armed man: Do you believe in God? If you say yes, you’re dead.

There is a family in the Bible that endured much torture and death in such a situation. Likewise many many saints.

So, do you lie to the armed man to save your life? Do you dare to say, “No, I do not believe in God” with the intent to confess later?
 
You are presuming that we are content with sinning and risking our immortal soul to save the mortal bodies of others. That is not at all what is being suggested.

First, the question is not, should we sin in order to save lives. We should NEVER sin for any reason. The real question is, is the telling of an untruth sinful when we are trying to save lives…no selfish gain and no one hurt by our lie. I maintain that God, in his justice, would not impute sin upon us if we are attempting, in good conscience, to do an act of true love by trying to save innocent victims from murderers by responding untruthfully to their question laced with evil intent. How does our lying to a Nazi destroy the moral good? How does it offend justice? Who are we NOT loving by telling this untruth? The answers are: It does not, it does not, and no one.

Maintaining your belief in God is a different situation than the Nazi situation. If the Nazi asked me if any Jews are hiding inside I would lie to save their lives. “The greatest gift a man can give is to give his life for his friend.” This biblical verse indeed values human life. Now if the Nazi asked me if I believed in God knowing I would die if I answered in the affirmative then I would say yes and die as a martyr because this would be an act of love of God. Peter denied three times that he knew Christ. To deny our Lord and Savior is much different than to deny that we hid some Jews inside our home so they would be safe from death at the hands of murderers. That is why one would be considered a martyr for the “extraordinary” faith in God of the one who admits his faith in dire circumstances.
 
I’ve been away while many posts showed up. I’ll get back to the others later; I just have a couple quick comments here…
First, none of us know what we will do in the Nazi hypothetical or armed stalker hypothetical until we are in such a situation. Until then, it is only hypothetical for us individually.
Agreed. What we will do if we are in the situation is not known. All we can discuss are what-if hypothetical scenarios. I hope never to actually be in such a position.
That said, I am saddened that so many of the Catholics on this thread give more weight to mortal life than eternal life. While it may feel immoral to not lie to the Nazi/stalker knowing that death may follow, I’m certain that it is at least as moral as lying with the intent of preserving mortal life.
OK, here’s where I’m calling for some sanity.

I thought a long time ago in this thread, nobody, after thinking about it, was willing to make a serious claim that lie-to-the-Nazi situation would actually endanger the immortal soul.

So we aren’t comparing a mortal life to an immortal soul. Would you allow me to die in order to save yourself from a VENIAL sin? That’s a little bit closer to the real question here.

If I were in one of these extreme situations, I don’t know exactly what I’d do, but I’ll tell you this for certain: if I could lie to save your life, and spend a little extra time in purgatory, then IMO it’s worth it. Personally, I believe very strongly that it would not result in any type of punishment, including extra purgatory time, no matter whether it is technically called a “sin” or not. At this point, given my beliefs, I have no concern talking to God about it. I would not be ashamed of it, but nor would I be proud that I lied. I’d just be happy I saved your life – and if I’m wrong and God sends me to hell, then I guess I should have listened better. I’ll take that chance. If I’m wrong on this, then there is really know point in being human at all, rather than being robots. Robots can follow the law with no flaws so maybe they can earn their way into heaven. I’m staking my eternal life on Jesus, and what I believe He has revealed to me through verbal situations and directly to my heart experiential situations.
…but will it be the mortal death of the intended victim or immortal suicide by a well-intentioned friend?
Like I suggested before, and like another poster who agreed with you and disagreed with me said, let’s cut the drama. If you seriously think you will rot in hell for all eternity for a venial sin to save a life, then I’d like to hear you say that directly. I think it is like scrupulosity on steroids.
“but, but, at least the immortal suicide can go to confession…” Hmmm.
Excellent point.
Frankly, if I and my loved ones are ever hiding and you, my protector, are interrogated by the killer, I would certainly value your sanctity over my mortality. Our mortal lives, while precious, are not the goal of our existence.
I appreciate your relieving me from guilt if I fail to act to save you. However, if I failed to do what I thought would work – including telling a lie, then I will in a heartbeat. If you think I did wrong, then you may still thank God for your life, and rest assured you didn’t “make me do it.” 🙂
Some believe that God won’t care if you lie at that moment. I believe that He cares about every thought and utterance. I believe that He values our trust in His providence and our earnest striving for holiness more than He values our mortal bodies. I also believe that He has infinite mercy and takes all situations into account.
It isn’t that I don’t think God cares. I think he cares intensively. I agree that He takes all situations into account. I don’t think He would send me to hell because there is a rule on the books that says God Hates Lies, absolutely, unconditionally, and infallibly. I don’t think God molds himself into whatever we say He is; I think it is beyond presumptuous to claim we know what God would think in any given situation.

(continued)
 
(continued)
However, I don’t believe we should presume mercy to ease our consciences.
Nor do I. If I really thought God would want me to tell the truth, or clam up, or whatever, at the cost of your life, then by all means I would follow where I am led by God.

I pray that if I’m ever in such a situation, the Spirit will give me the words I need, if any, directly and before I am able to do a thorough analysis on other people’s speculations on hypothetical circumstances.

So really, I’m not worried about doing the Wrong Thing. Before we are born of the spirit, we have nothing to do but try to follow rules. Afterward, we access the rules directly as they are written on our hearts.

I can’t tell you that I have been born of the spirit, but neither can you say that I have not. I can say this: I have experienced great healing at the astonishment of and against the predictions of the doctors. I am in terrible worldly situation that I couldn’t even imagine when I had a steady career before my world came crashing down. How is it possible that I am more joyful and peaceful than at any previous time in my life, including when I was a carefree little overachieving nerd kid.
Try this one on:
Armed man: Do you believe in God? If you say yes, you’re dead.
There is a family in the Bible that endured much torture and death in such a situation. Likewise many many saints.
So, do you lie to the armed man to save your life? Do you dare to say, “No, I do not believe in God” with the intent to confess later?
I have thought about this exact scenario, most seriously starting with that cockamamie story that the friend of a victim of the Columbine shootings made up to soothe the father of the dead girl. It even went to a book deal: “She Said Yes: the Unlikely Martyrdom of XXX XXX” The more I thought about it, the more I wondered even if it really had happened like this, we have a strong Christian taken out of God’s service for the rest of her life, so that she could tell the truth to a man who killed himself only moments later, anyway. Whether she did the right thing or not, IMO is reduced the army of God by one, with no compensating benefit.

You know what? I just might say that. I don’t really know. Like I said, I trust that if I have to act so quickly I don’t have time to think much, I trust the Spirit will give me the words at the time. I am confident and at peace with that approach.

What if God’s plan actually takes my lying into account, and even relies on it for His purpose? Who on this thread can tell me they know God well enough that it is impossible.

I think it’s highly dangerous, and is the mark of a “Christian” who is still bound to the law of sin and death, to make up my mind in advance what I would or wouldn’t say to save a life, because we think God is choosy about our exact words.

Now you try this one on:

If I do deny God to save my life, I’m in good company. Peter blatantly and intentionally denied God to save his own mortal life, and he didn’t get sent to hell for it. He was given God’s entire ministry. :sad_yes:

I’m guessing that Peter was God’s first choice. If Peter had failed to save his own life, God would have had to make another plan. http://bestsmileys.com/clueless/1.gif

Peace to all of you, and thank you for taking your time with me. If I don’t change, then it’s not because you haven’t warned me. Maybe there are other posters and lurkers who have changed over to your thinking. 😉

Alan
 
I’m sorry for my lengthy last post. I was under time pressure, so I blabbed out a bunch of stuff and didn’t edit and condense it.

Now that I’ve thought about it some more, maybe I can help you see where I’m coming from, compared to where you’re coming from, and we will find that our disagreements do not have to come between us, either intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually. If you can imagine that, I think it would be helpful. You know, the lion laying down next to the lamb and all that. I’ll leave you to decide who is which; it doesn’t matter for my purposes in this post.

I am not nearly the scholar in saint writings, church teachings, and scripture as many of you other posters. That said, I’ve had some pretty incredible experiences, which seemed both horrible and wonderful at times, and sometimes I wasn’t sure which if either. I’m trying to communicate what I feel in my heart as a result, using this language called “Catholic speak” that I am clumsy in, so I’m asking all of you to hear me as if I were a baby in the fields where you are mature – such as dogma, theology, etc. If I use wrong words or poor grammar or even seem to show poor judgment, the teach me. Do not be afraid to correct me because it doesn’t hurt me to think I’m wrong. My babies would never have learned to walk if I was too afraid of them falling for them to get the practice they need. As long as you are in line with the moderators, IMO, say whatever you feel. Don’t worry about wording it in a way I can accept. Half the time I don’t know what in the world you’re trying to say anyway, so if I hear something that sounds like an insult the first thing I think, is “what if I’m wrong?” So speak from the heart. If you use strong words, that may or may not mean you have strong feelings – it may mean that you are intellectually confident and may not say anything about your feelings. It’s my job to learn to listen to you and not get offended. That’s one of the specific reasons I even get involved in these seemingly lose-lose arguments. Because they aren’t lose-lose. That’s dualistic thinking at its worst.

Especially those who think that feelings don’t come into play with morality. Well, I don’t know what “morality” means to all of you, but they have everything to do with emotions, and spirituality, IMO.

Now just who do I think I am to talk like this? Well, I’m a person whose pulled my verbal punches for my entire life, because since I was very young it was clear to me that teachers and most other adults almost never actually wanted to hear what I thought. They wanted to hear me say what they thought I was supposed to say, and then if I didn’t conform my answer to their often ambiguous questions to what they expect to hear, then I end up getting hurt. Well, as of this post, I hereby declare that I’m through with all that, and God willing I can get on with talking to people from my heart or my head – frankly I can’t tell you which one is more behind any given message I try to convey. If the Holy Spirit wishes to alter my message so that you misunderstand me and help me learn humility, then so be it.

Where do I think I am spiritually? I don’t know as an absolute, and no SD has offered to tell me. I can tell you this; I had a terrible affliction and now it’s gone, in a way medicine couldn’t have done. I was anxious for 52 years, today I’m at total peace even as we may sound like we’re tearing our hair out over the issue of lying to a Nazi. I feel joy unlike any joy I’ve had before. This peace and joy are not temporary and conditional, like the world gives. This peace and joy, at least so far (God I’m ready for the next test when you will – gulp) has been amazingly unconditional, and if I play my spiritual cards right, I’m hoping it will also be eternal.

Anyway, I’m just venting about how I feel. If you find this post useful, I’m honored. I have no doubt that even now, even as we have needless anxiety and fear over what each other believe, that the Holy Spirit truly is in charge, and if I trust in Him then I don’t need to worry about what I will say tomorrow, just about what I say in this post. Today’s masterpiece is tomorrow’s scratch pad, and vice versa. (You may interpret “today” and “tomorrow” figuratively or literally, as you like. 😃 )

Those who read this, I am grateful you are trying to hear me out. My honest desire is that we can continue this discussion, but I would like to relieve you of any guilt on my part, based on whether you get through to me or not. Or if you tried hard enough. That’s the job of the Holy Spirit, not you or me, so we don’t have to stress over it when we can neither predict nor control it.

(Getting off the soapbox. :o )

Alan
 
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