Lying - removing the three types of lies from one's conduct

  • Thread starter Thread starter anon64350612
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

anon64350612

Guest
The jocose lie: Lies told in jest. Like when one makes a lying joke, that is, the type of joke usually followed by, “I was just kidding, I didn’t mean it.”
The officious lie: Lies told for the advantage of ones self or another. For example, when one says to the police officer who pulled one over, “No officer, I was not speeding.”
The malicious lie: Lies told with the intent to injure another. Such as when one claims something untruthfully and with malicious intent to injure the listener or another.

All three are wrong according to Father Laux who says in Catholic Morality (page 138) "not merely because it may do harm to another person, but because it violates the moral order, and because it is essentially opposed to God, who is truth itself, and to the end for which speech was given to man.

I AM NOT ASKING WHETHER PEOPLE AGREE WITH FATHER LAUX THAT ALL THREE TYPES OF LIES ARE WRONG, but I am interested in discussing techniques people have used to perfect their manners in the areas of communication, especially in the area of always telling the truth, avoiding making exaggeration, making false claims, telling lies in defense, and telling jokes at the expense of others. (Not an exhaustive list.) Can one be an engaging communicator and have fun without “kidding around”? Are there any comedians that are good examples of this?

Again, I am not interested in debating whether telling certain types of lies is permitted, I am interested in discussing ways to perfect one’s manner of communication to always communicate the truth. And by perfect I do not mean stone-faced, unfriendly, or can’t take a joke. That would not be perfect.
 
Personally I think the ‘just kidding’ thing is innocuous and innocent enough, otherwise we couldn’t even pull an April Fool’s joke on someone for example. But having said that it’s only because we’ve lost our innocence that lying is even possible; we wouldn’t know what lying is I suppose, even to use it as a joke, in a state of true innocence.

In any case, in this life we must come to worship Truth, so to speak, to consciously and persistently strive to stay true to it, as lying comes relatively easy in my experience. All around us the world operates on lies; we take it for granted that untruths are told in politics, or in sales/ advertisements, in business in general, in filing tax returns, or simply to protect ourselves and our reputations in big or small ways, for important or trivial reasons. Even the way we comport ourselves and the clothes we wear can be deceptive. Heck, if we were comfortable with the truth, in perfect innocence, we might not bother with the clothes that cover or hide the truth of who we are; Adam & Eve didn’t even know they were naked originally in Eden.
 
For me over the last 5-8 or so years that I’ve really tried to do better with speaking truthfully it is a difficult road to say the least especially when trying to explain to others they aren’t being truthful. The more I focused on speaking the truth the more I saw the dishonesty (for lack of a better word at this moment) in others words.
One thing people will say that irks me and I call them on to no avail is when they say “Let’s eat I’m starving” I point out they are not starving and really have no idea of what starving is. They are of course puzzled at this and say it is only an expression. I tell them that their expression is an insult to people all over the world that are actually starving. Most people are quite put off by my observations, but after a few different times of this they usually will pick their words more carefully while around me and maybe even not gripe to others about me if I’m fortunate enough for that. There are countless little lies like this that we say each day. Try and try again I suppose. “countless” “each day” maybe I should be more careful with my speech than I have been? Yes I’m quite sure of that.
 
One thing that I find quite useful is to practice self-restraint. A lot of people say to speak your mind always without a second thought, but I find that is a bad habit. There are many reasons why the first thing that comes to mind in a conversation is a lie, or offensive, or true but unnecessary or uncharitable. Better to restrain oneself and think carefully what one is going to say.
 
I agree wholeheartedly. I try to ask myself if what I’m about to say will help the situation or create harm. Here the keyword being try. We are all works in progress I suppose. I recently started a thread here where I would have done well to wait and think but didn’t and so I believe I’ve ended up offending a few folks (not everyone) even though that was not the intent.
 
Ok, now, a lot of people argue that it is OK to joke around.

But yes, I find it is EXTREMELY difficult to be sociable and be funny without lying, exaggeration (why would exaggeration be bad? Exaggeration is a fine thing. Our Lord used exaggeration to make a point/help, how would a log get stuck into your eye?), making fun at someone’s expense (even just jokingly), innuendo, etc. You are limited to really bad jokes nowadays in many people’s eyes, like puns or etc.

Most of the second kind I find are kinda things you say without thinking. Like you just blurt out that it’s not your fault or whatever.
 
Last edited:
Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no.
Anything more is from the devil.
Jesus said that.
Get thee behind me Satan !
That’s what I wish I could say to talkative people.
The more talkative- forget it.
 
Dan_Defender said:
One thing that I find quite useful is to practice self-restraint. A lot of people say to speak your mind always without a second thought, but I find that is a bad habit. There are many reasons why the first thing that comes to mind in a conversation is a lie, or offensive, or true but unnecessary or uncharitable. Better to restrain oneself and think carefully what one is going to say.
Click to expand...
Not only what you’ve said, but the first thing that comes to mind may also be based on mistaken facts or impressions on your part. Holding back for a minute or two can stop you jumping to incorrect conclusions.
 
And be careful not to confuse scrupulousness (very concerned to avoid doing wrong) with scrupulosity (Scrupulosity is characterized by pathological guilt about moral or religious issues. … As a personality trait, scrupulosity is a recognized diagnostic criterion for obsessive–compulsive personality disorder. It is sometimes called “scrupulousness”, but that word properly applies to the positive trait of having scruples).

Because folks on this forum will quickly point out the difference, or suggest you get professional help right away for your obsessive thoughts. – She said, not in a joking manner…
 
Seagull said:
Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no.

Anything more is from the devil.

Jesus said that.

Get thee behind me Satan !

That’s what I wish I could say to talkative people.

The more talkative- forget it.
Click to expand...
Great post! 🙂 I would also add that:
“if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

God Bless!
 
Last edited:
Hello.

Only say what you mean. Try to be charitable in speech always and in what you do. Silence is often a good practice if what you’d like to say can’t be done in charity. Remember, God sent us one Word.

Easy to say, difficult to do. Thanks for the reminder. Sometimes people will laugh when you say what you mean, but practice makes perfect. It is actually difficult to say exactly what you mean and to use clear speech.

You are in my prayers. Please pray for me.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top