Lying

  • Thread starter Thread starter psalm42
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
P

psalm42

Guest
My former bf is porn addicted and over the couple year relationship he claimed he never cheated on me physically. There were two seperate experiences I want your opinion on.
  1. some women offered to show him their breasts so they park could park for free and he said no
  2. he left his own brothers bacehlor party early with his other bro before strippers came in?
He let me know this but he has lied about the extent of his porn addiction for the past two years. He’s been to strip clubs before our relationship. We haven’t always lived in the same citiy so the chances of him doing more than porn are more likey. He lied to me for this long, who knows what else he did behind my back?

What do you guys think? Do you think he lied to me about these experiences to keep me in the relationahip?
 
Honestly? I think that whatever the reason is, the point is moot. He has a porn addiction, he has lied to you over the years… doesn’t sound like marriage material to me. If I were you, I would say a prayer of thanksgiving that the relationship ended before it turned into something much more serious like marriage, and move on! Don’t give any credibility to those two statements, they may tempt you to try once again since “he seems to be willing to be honest”. It could very well be an attempt to sucker you back into a relationship with him, and from what you wrote that sounds like an extremely bad idea. No offense intended, just my two cents, take it for what it’s worth. 🙂
 
The porn addiction is a deal killer. Really. That stuff is absolute poison for any relationship, hands down. It’s a formula for divorce, even before you get married. I would look elsewhere, and encourage him to get help. Find a young man who, first of all, has a strong Catholic faith. Someone who is on an equal spiritual footing as yourself. He won’t be perfect, to be sure. But he should be actively working on it. Maybe you could point him to the following .mp3 file (which can be downloaded and listened to - just right-click, then click Save Target As…)

alabamacatholicresources.com/Downloads/The_Poison_of_Pornography.mp3

Also, you seem like a nice young lady. Pray to Our Lady and ask her to send you a sign as to what God wants you to do. Visit the Blessed Sacrament and make a holy hour. Go to daily Mass, if you can. (Stack the deck in your favor! LOL)
 
Yeah, I wanted initial opinions on the said original question.

But fortunately, for him, he doesn’t have to lie anymore.

He had the best of both worlds and in the end he chose porn. Wait, he always has. It’s be there for him for years, heck, why would he want to deal with me?
 
Hi Psalm- I agree with the other posters. Cut all ties with this young man because there is nothing but misery for you down the road. Believe me, that is my experience. He sounds like not just a porn addict but he is addicted to lying. This will never stop, I guarantee you. The only way he can be saved is by God and the RCC. Don’t let yourself be brought down by this type of person. Be more selective, you deserve someone better and later in life you will be thankful you chose more carefully.

In some religions, just looking at nudity is a sin. I am an artist, so I can appreciate the human form but not in context with lust, lying or lustful behavior. Don’t believe him or in him, you will be disappointed. 👍
 
psalm42 said:
What do you guys think? Do you think he lied to me about these experiences to keep me in the relationahip?
Click to expand...
I think you need to date a better class of men and cultivate better friends.
 
Is there any possible way I can delete this thread I created? I realized this question serves no good purpose.😦
 
psalm42 said:
My former bf is porn addicted and over the couple year relationship he claimed he never cheated on me physically. There were two seperate experiences I want your opinion on.
  1. some women offered to show him their breasts so they park could park for free and he said no
  2. he left his own brothers bacehlor party early with his other bro before strippers came in?
He let me know this but he has lied about the extent of his porn addiction for the past two years. He’s been to strip clubs before our relationship. We haven’t always lived in the same citiy so the chances of him doing more than porn are more likey. He lied to me for this long, who knows what else he did behind my back?

What do you guys think? Do you think he lied to me about these experiences to keep me in the relationahip?
Click to expand...
Is there no way for you to validate these stories??? seems like the bachelor party would be an easy one. I’m sure you can talk to one of the brothers. Why are the chances of him doing more than porn more likely? Did he display these tendencies when you were with him? Was he one to check out other women when he was with you, or did you hear stories from others about him doing that? Porn is disgusting and bad i know from experience. How was he living his faith? Was he going to confession (by the way God has forgiven him if he has been thats a great thing if only we could forgive as God does) and church? Was he actively addressing these issues had you seen any changes for the positive in him? Did he even share these things with you meaning his faith? Did he encourage you in your faith and push you towards God and living a holy life? Yes porn is horrible for both people in the relationship what if any were the positives to come from the relationship? I would love to know thanks.
 
Why does it matter any more if he was lying to you or not he is out of your life for good it sounds like!!! Who ended it you or him? Also why would anyone on here telling you that they believe he lied make a difference. Its just opinions from people who were not in the relationship who were not invested in it and would be poor character on their part to pass judgment without full knowledge.
 
blessed4 said:
Is there no way for you to validate these stories??? seems like the bachelor party would be an easy one. I’m sure you can talk to one of the brothers. Why are the chances of him doing more than porn more likely? Did he display these tendencies when you were with him? Was he one to check out other women when he was with you, or did you hear stories from others about him doing that? Porn is disgusting and bad i know from experience. How was he living his faith? Was he going to confession (by the way God has forgiven him if he has been thats a great thing if only we could forgive as God does) and church? Was he actively addressing these issues had you seen any changes for the positive in him? Did he even share these things with you meaning his faith? Did he encourage you in your faith and push you towards God and living a holy life? Yes porn is horrible for both people in the relationship what if any were the positives to come from the relationship? I would love to know thanks.
Click to expand...
There is no way to validate those stories- that’s why I regret posting this! And in no way would I confront his brother about the party and put his family in a situation like that. As to everything else you ask, I am not here to state more information. That is why I am trying to figure out how to delete this thread. Sorry.
 
I_Fortuna said:
Hi Psalm- I agree with the other posters. Cut all ties with this young man because there is nothing but misery for you down the road. Believe me, that is my experience. He sounds like not just a porn addict but he is addicted to lying. This will never stop, I guarantee you. The only way he can be saved is by God and the RCC. Don’t let yourself be brought down by this type of person. Be more selective, you deserve someone better and later in life you will be thankful you chose more carefully.

In some religions, just looking at nudity is a sin. I am an artist, so I can appreciate the human form but not in context with lust, lying or lustful behavior. Don’t believe him or in him, you will be disappointed. 👍
Click to expand...
I’d say “Cut all romantic ties and don’t pursue marriage with him.” But don’t cut all ties with him. I’m not saying she has to be best friend with him, but we should not just let others remain in their miserable state. She must encourage him to get help, and support him.
 
puzzleannie said:
in what way, exactly? condoning what he does? allowing him to continue to manipulate her?
Click to expand...
No, no, no, no, no. I never said that at all. I hope you didn’t Maybe she is called to guide him away from pornography as a friend. Maybe just doing something as simple as handing him a brochure on being pure. I am not at all saying she should stay in a relationship with him.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top