lying

[angell1]

hi guys, i have a bit of a problem.

due to my mom’s life experiences with others always being jealous of what she does, she now no longer tells anyone where she lives or where we go on vacation.

because of this, i basically have to lie to people about where we’re going when we do go away and about where we live. because it’s kind of hard to not let people know when you go on vacation, you have social obligations that you normally do. or if people offer me a ride home, i always have to come up with some excuse.

on the one hand, i get the point of why she feels the way she does but on the other, i really hate lying.

i know, nobody really necessarily has to know this information but it’s really hard to avoid.

i usually try to be vague about vacation ploans but you know, people are always curious and want to know all the details. or about where i live, people are forceful and insistent in wanting to help me get there safely.

is it grave sin if i tell people we’re going to like seattle for exxample but in reality we’re going to las vegas?

or if anyone has any suggestions of a btter way to go about it, please let me know.

 

[frizzgrig]

If you can come to a public forum and say “because of your mother’s previous experiences in life she no longer …” why can’t you tell the people that?

You answered your question already in your post. You know no one needs the information, and instead of saying that you chose to tell something that is not truthful.

Seems to me the people close enough to you to cause you to want to tell them would accept that explanation and people not that close to you should be fine with a “I like to keep my vacation plans private” or “no thanks, I don’t need any assistance getting home.”

No need to lie about anything. Your personal business is your personal business unless you make a choice to tell someone it.

Your mother may have “valid” reasons for feeling the way she does, but outside of being in the witness protection program I can’t think of any healthy reason for that level of anxiety about someone knowing where you live or travel.

 

[Dorothy]

We should never feel that it is necessary to lie. Just tell them you’re going on vacation, and if they ask where just say where you are going. If they have a problem with where you are going, it is their problem.

There is no need for you or family members to feel it is wrong to tell others where they are going because others may be jealous or whatever. If you like you can say “We’re going out west” without giving other information. That is up to you.

To take this a bit further,…if someone was going somewhere where sinful entertainment is available and they were going to view it…then that would be a wrong for the person/persons going on the vacation.

 

[crochet_lady]

angell 1

And Why have people been jealous of where your mother has gone on vacations and such? She Never tells anyone where she lives? People know where other people live – one way or another. The post office? Paying taxes? You’re in school – you Have to have a home address to contact in case of an emergency. For a job – a person Has to be reachable. A box number or Something.

Lying is Never okay – it only ends up causing problems. A person then has to remember what they’ve told and to whom. On the other hand, going on a vacation or Not? Kids compare information just Because. Curiosity – tell your friends the truth – you’re Not going on a vacation.

Like ‘Dorothy’ was commenting – you’re going ‘up North’ or ‘down south’ or whatever direction you Are going.

Another ‘poster’ was commenting that if your mother is trying to stay ‘low key’ for a good reason ? – so someone won’t find her ?-- but you’d probably be aware of That situation, too?

And sometimes people can get paranoid – afraid that ‘someone’ will cause a problem for her if they ‘get too close’

Talk with your Mother about it – Don’t be lying – no one Has to give their ‘life history’ to anyone.