Made a friend but....racism? what do I do?

[SpeakKindly]

I don’t typically make friends at work that I do things with outside of work. I recently started getting along with someone at work, we plan to play some video games and stuff and I’ve only started talking with him for a couple weeks. I recently have felt uncomfortable around him though because of the things he’s said - using racist slurs for example, and I don’t want to be associated with that.

I don’t feel like saying anything will help though, but I feel terrible for sitting quiet and not even really responding. I just sit hoping that they change the subject.

 

[Allegra]

People don’t make those kind of comments unless they believe they have a sympathetic audience. At least, people who aren’t complete nutjobs don’t. I expect that if you make it abundandtly clear that you don’t like the use of those words, it will stop. It could be as simple as a “Not cool, man”.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

If you are not comfortable openly saying the comments make you uncomfortable, maybe you could mention you have friends who are not of the same race as you. Show that your attitude is very different and see what happens. maybe this colleague will stop with the comments, or maybe he’ll end your friendship. Both are good outcomes I think.

 

[SuperLuigi]

I’ve known of people who’ve made inappropriate racial comments in front of me. I let them know it was not okay.

I don’t think you need to sit there and listen to that. If you want just be say “really?” “come on, that’s not nice.”

You don’t have to yell RAACCCISSTTTT. In fact, you shouldn’t do that.

 

[bolinstephen]

You said you felt like you saying things would not help the situation. If it is true, that your new “friend” does not value your opinion and does not respect you, perhaps you should reconsider him as a friend. If you say something, and your friend at least makes some effort to avoid saying these things in front of you, you standing up for the right made a difference and you should do it. Perhaps an even greater good will come of you speaking up.

Not saying this is easy— if you want to do what is easy, than you should stop asking what the right thing to do is.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

I’ve known of people who’ve made inappropriate racial comments in front of me. I let them know it was not okay.

I don’t think you need to sit there and listen to that. If you want just be say “really?” “come on, that’s not nice.”

You don’t have to yell RAACCCISSTTTT. In fact, you shouldn’t do that.

Agreed.