Maiden names

[LabChick]

deaconswife:

There may be good reason for a woman to retain her maiden name. My daughter will be earning her Ph.D. under her maiden name and professionally that is how she will be known. If she gets married and takes her husband’s name colleagues (and I’m not speaking the immediate workplace, but those who may have read her research in journals) would not connect her with her previous work. Its not a matter of feminism, but of practicality.

Very, very smart move on your daughter’s part. It’ll save her much headache and hassle as she moves on to postdoc/PI and when applying for grants and funding. I’ve seen my married female collegues apply for grants under their married names, only to be told they’ve never published or had no academic credentials.

darcee:

Amazing how much unrelated baggage people can dump on what is basically a cultural and personal preference issue. -D

Oooh…unrelated baggage. Where???

 

[Toni]

kage_ar:

When we married, I kept my maiden name as an extra middle name, no hyphen. We also gave maiden name to our son as a middle name.

My dad is the only child of an only child. My brother does not plan to marry, so, I felt the need to carry on that family name to some extent.

That was very thoughtful of you but I hope the names are not to long.
When he purchases a home, car etc. he will be signing for days.

 

[BLB_Oregon]

kage_ar:

When we married, I kept my maiden name as an extra middle name, no hyphen. We also gave maiden name to our son as a middle name.

I dropped my middle name (legally only) and changed the name I use legally to the form: First Name, Maiden Name, His Surname. Even if you don’t go by this anywhere else, it is handy to have on your credit cards and driver’s license when you need a document that clearly agrees with the proposition that you are both your husband’s wife and your old self.

 

[dream_wanderer]

kage_ar:

When we married, I kept my maiden name as an extra middle name, no hyphen. We also gave maiden name to our son as a middle name.

My dad is the only child of an only child. My brother does not plan to marry, so, I felt the need to carry on that family name to some extent.

I did the same…however my son now has a fairly long name!

I asked him if anyone ever teased him about his middle name. He said not until they found out it was the same as the last name of his weirdo cousin…

dream wanderer

 

[Carolyn]

When my fiancee and I get married I will have no problem taking his last name. However my current last name identifies me eithnically, so I will kid of miss that, you know, bonding with other “Polski’s”! But his name is Sicilian, so I will have a whole new group of people to bond with…
Honestly, it’s really a non-issue for me… I will just be happy to finally marry the man!

 

[kfarose2585]

Carolyn–yay for the "Polski"s! I am also Polish and proud.

Something just occurred to me. Perhaps it is best that a woman takes her husband’s last name, simply because, if the couple has children, it will allow the father to better identify with them. After all, there is 100% positive proof that the children are of their mother, but where is their physical connection to their father? Well, if the children (and their mother) have his last name, it’ll be easier on the surface for him to recognize them as his own. The apathetic man will be more inclined to care for his new family, and the strong man will be proud that his wife is entrusting to him the children that she bore. Does that make any sense?

 

[dream_wanderer]

kfarose2585:

Carolyn–yay for the "Polski"s! I am also Polish and proud.

Something just occurred to me. Perhaps it is best that a woman takes her husband’s last name, simply because, if the couple has children, it will allow the father to better identify with them. After all, there is 100% positive proof that the children are of their mother, but where is their physical connection to their father? Well, if the children (and their mother) have his last name, it’ll be easier on the surface for him to recognize them as his own. The apathetic man will be more inclined to care for his new family, and the strong man will be proud that his wife is entrusting to him the children that she bore. Does that make any sense?

Yes it does make sense but in many cultures whrere the wife’s name is retained or there is NO family name such as in Iceland, father’s still seem to identify with their children.

dream wanderer

 

[DaveBj]

asquared:

I believe in Scandinavian countries, (Kirsten Lavrensdatter)…

That’s still true only in Iceland. Swedes, Danes, and Norskies like my family went to full-time family surnames in the 17th or 18th century; I don’t remember exactly when. With the Icelanders, it used to blow people’s minds here in the U.S. of A. back when it was de rigeur for a married man and woman to have the same last name, and here come the occasional visitors from Iceland registering in a hotel, and the husband and wife have different last names.

…and in Russia it is customary for the woman, to be identified by her father’s name all through life. (Larissa Antepov) (Nicolai Andreavitch, Nicholas son of Andre)

The patrinymic, as it’s called (-ovich/-yevich for the men, -ovna/-yevna for the women) is actually the middle name, although some last names (the familiya in Russki) have been built on some of the patrinymics. Examples: Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov, Yelena Ivanovna Ivanova. An interesting side-note: in the sci-fi TV series Babylon-5 they correctly named the female officer Ivanova, not Ivanov.

DaveBj

 

[aj10]

Over time my views on this subject have changed. In my twenties I was strident about keeping my own name. In my thirties I dumped my maiden name and made up my own last name (take that you patriarchs!). I married late in life, at age 40, amazingly had a child at 41, and just found myself easily taking my husbands name. I actually like being called Mrs. J*****.

I have to disagree with the “bible scholar” who says the unfallen world was matriarchal, but once Adam and Eve sinned, the fallen world became patriarchal. Seems a niave, unsubstantiated theory to me.

 

[kfarose2585]

AJ, please don’t dismiss theories as naive and ubsubstantiated until you’ve thoroughly researched them. I probably didn’t give Dr. Bushnell justice in my brief explanation of her theory, especially since it took her chapter upon chapter to fully explain it. If you are interested in why she and her supporters believe in the original matriarchy, read God’s Word to Women. Even if you disagree with some of her points, it is an excellent book that challenges the reader to fervently study the Bible.

 

[Sunniva]

DaveBj:

That’s still true only in Iceland. Swedes, Danes, and Norskies like my family went to full-time family surnames in the 17th or 18th century; I don’t remember exactly when. With the Icelanders, it used to blow people’s minds here in the U.S. of A. back when it was de rigeur for a married man and woman to have the same last name, and here come the occasional visitors from Iceland registering in a hotel, and the husband and wife have different last names.

The patrinymic, as it’s called (-ovich/-yevich for the men, -ovna/-yevna for the women) is actually the middle name, although some last names (the familiya in Russki) have been built on some of the patrinymics. Examples: Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov, Yelena Ivanovna Ivanova. An interesting side-note: in the sci-fi TV series Babylon-5 they correctly named the female officer Ivanova, not Ivanov.

DaveBj

DaveBj.

You’re a Norski? Nice, I’m a Norwegian myself. Born and raised in Norway and currently living in Canada.

It’s correct that Iceland and the Nordic countries had a costum of having surnames reflecting who their father was. Pedersen where the “sen” mean son and in the case of a woman it would be “datter” meaning daughter. Her name would be Pedersdatter.

Most people back then lived in rural areas and had farms. It was very common to use the name of the farm as your family name or surname. Let’s say you live on a farm called “Plassen” and your father’s name is Lars. When you were baptised you were given the name Ole as your Christian name. Your full name would then be Ole Larssen Plassen. You grow up and get married to Solveig Haraldsdatter Lia. Her Christian name is Solveig and she’s the daughter of Harald and is from a farm named Lia.

After marriage she will live with you on your farm named “Plassen”. Your wife will not longer use Lia as her family name, but will use Plassen since she now is living on Plassen. She would now be known as Solveig Haraldsdatter Plassen. She will all her life keep Haraldsdatter.You and your wife will then have a common family name. So Scandinavian married couple had the same family name in most cases. (If they lived on a farm that is). In towns and cities the situation would be different.

Should Ole and Solveig move from Plassen and settle on another farm they would take the name after that farm. Let’s say the name of the new farm is “Holen”. Ole would now call himself Ole Larssen Holen and his wife would use Solveig Haraldsdatter Holen.

Names and choices of names is a cultural fenomenon. In Norway it’s now common for married couples to keep the surname/family name they had before marriage. However I observe that most choose the father’s surname as the familyname for the kids. Some use both family names for the children.

Since it’s customary in Canada for a woman to take her husband’s family name as her family name after marriage I will take my husband’s name when we marry. In this country people might think that we are not married if we have different family names. When we have the same family name people will assume that we are married. Had we lived in Norway I might have kept my maiden name.