Making a list before Penance

[acadian]

I make a list - post-it note size. Sometimes I try to go by memory and then glance at the list. When I’ve been without a list, I mind goes totally blank.

 

[anniemart]

When I was about to make my first confession, I was a nervous wreck and nearly impossible to live with (as my wonderful husband has gently pointed out on more than one occasion ).

He sat me down and explained to me that no sin ever escapes Our Father and for me to do my best preparing for confession but not to let the prep itself become the focus. He suggested I allow the Holy Spirit to speak through me and that I confess those sins that are most pressing. He suggested I do this as I go into the confessional.

I did, and do you know that every since then, I have never been nervous or overly forgetful? I have confessed those sins that weighed more on my soul but have not intentionally avoided speaking of those “lesser” sins. Over time, it has become easier for me in doing this. Now, I find myself much happier the more often I go to confession. And like Scott Hahn has mentioned, life is a lot easier to live the more often you open yourself up to this sacrament.

If writing your sins down helps, then good for you and God Bless You for taking advantage of the sacrament. So many of our brothers and sisters have yet to realize the gift that it is to our souls.

 

[NMJenny]

When I was received into the Church, I had carefully examined my conscience and written down all of the mortal sins that I recognized. When I stepped into the confessional (this was in the “olden days” when they actually had confessionals, not “reconciliation rooms”), I was horrified to realize that it was pitch black and I couldn’t even begin to see my list!! When the priest realized that I was upset, and found out why, he calmed me down by saying “God isn’t waiting with a lightning bolt in His hand to blast you if you forget a sin, so take a deep breath and relax!”

When we were chatting after the reception ceremony was over, he chuckled and said “Next time you rely on a list, be sure to bring a flashlight!!”

 

[PeteZaHut]

it is not necessary (and sometimes not helpful) to confess every venial sin. QUOTE]

I thought I remembered reading in the Catechism that the Church strongly recommends confessing venial sins.

 

[baltobetsy]

PhilotheaZ;2577662:

it is not necessary (and sometimes not helpful) to confess every venial sin. QUOTE]
I thought I remembered reading in the Catechism that the Church strongly recommends confessing venial sins.

Here’s the deal, Pete. You can recite a long list of venial sins with some sorrow for them but no real plan to eliminate them from your life, OR you can pick one or two that you really are willing to work on and confess them. When you stop committing those, you pick another one or two and repeat the process. This way you make real progress in an orderly way.

OR, perfectly legitimately, but perhaps unwisely, you may omit the venial sins altogether from your confession.

Betsy

 

[PeteZaHut]

I end up freaking out about wether something is mortal or venial, so I confess most of my venial sins.

If you get into a habit of going to confession fairly regularly, you tend to not have as many venial sins to confess, so it is not that hard to confess all that you can remember or have written down.

 

[Beautiful]

wow, It seems lotsa more people do this than I thought…

Yea! I’m surprised too. The OP might have created a poll!
Sometimes I do a list
Sometimes I don’t.

 

[acadian]

I make a list - more just to glance at to spark my memory which seems to go blank when I walk through the door.

While I normally destroy the list afterwards, I don’t write in code (because I would forget what it means). I wouldn’t lose too much sleep if I accidentally left it somewhere. Not like I put my name at the top or that my sins are much different from anyone else’s. Someone could probably pick up my list and use it for their own confession.

 

[brigid12]

I write down the first couple letters of each sin (I’m sometimes not sure if, for me at least, some of my sins are venial or mortal). I converted in 2001 and usually go to confession every month - although for a while it was more like every 3 months or so. Anyway, I have never been able to memorize the Act of Contrition to say to a priest, so I’ve needed to bring my “cheat sheet” of that anyway. (An unlighted, pitch-black confession room really tested me once, too - I forgot one of the sins, a venial one, and forgot part of the Act of Contrition.) Since I’ve tried a couple times not taking any “notes” and goofed each time, besides the dark confession room, I’ve just resigned myself to taking my crib notes. I say the Rosary every day but a couple times, when I’ve had to lead it I got nervous (of course!) and started saying the Nicene Creed instead of the Apostle’s or blank out completely. I memorized the Act of Contrition to myself a number of years ago, but I still can’t remember it in confession.

 

[Petergee]

I read somewhere later that you shouldn’t write your sins down anyways… They are private. What if you lost the piece of paper? OH MY!

No problem.

1. Hardly anybody can read my handwriting!
2. You’ve probably got dozens of pieces of paper in your possession or in your house which would be embarrassing if other people read them. Why stress about one more?
3. the list is probably written in short notes that probably nobody else could work out what they mean.
4. Many of our sins are well known to people who know us anyway.

 

[PeteZaHut]

catholic.net/RCC/Catechism/3/l19.html

Q. 778. Is it ever allowed to write our sins and read them to the priest in the confessional or give them to him to read?
A. It is allowed, when necessary, to write our sins and read them to the priest, as persons do who have almost entirely lost their memory. It is also allowed to give the paper to the priest, as persons do who have lost the use of their speech. In such cases the paper must, after the confession, be carefully destroyed either by the priest or the penitent.

Is that official because it sounds like you shouldn’t do that in normal circumstances?

 

[JMJ_coder]

Hello,

I’m making a list
The priest is checking it twice
He’s gonna judge if I’ve been naughty or nice
And God will forgive all my sins!

God sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows when you’re awake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for His sake!

 

[onmyknees]

This is off the subject of making a list or not but I often wonder how often we should go to confession if we just have venial sins to confess? I like going to confession and I go to the same confessor. I want to make spiritual progress.

 

[LilyM]

This is off the subject of making a list or not but I often wonder how often we should go to confession if we just have venial sins to confess? I like going to confession and I go to the same confessor. I want to make spiritual progress.

It’s an excellent idea to go to confession for venial sins - how often depends on a few things. How serious are the venial sins? How problematic? How frequent?

If I tell a teeny white venial lie once every couple of months I may not particularly benefit by confessing it.

If I find myself with an ingrained habit of compulsive but minor lying - it’s a daily or few-times-a-week thing, then absolutely an important tool in conquering it is frequent confession!

In any event, for venial sins it’s highly unlikely you’d need to go more than once a week (some priests, sadly, seem to think even that is too often, even though Pope John Paul 2 and Mother Teresa went that often or more).

Most people seem to find once every two weeks or once a month a happy medium.

 

[MSParrott]

a more helpful practice would be the traditional examination of conscience using one of the many guides linked on these forums in past threads. Using the daily examen, a briefer review of your day, before bed each night also helps to keep before you that which you must remember to confess, that which requires amendment, and that which has improved and requires thanks.

I never knew that when we have improved on some issue we had that we should return to the confessor and follow-up. That sounds like something I would like to do, but I wouldn’t want God to think I am being prideful. What are your thoughts on that?

BTW I love the idea of making a list to bring into Confession - I’ve never done it as of yet, but I think I may do just that for tomorrow.

 

[baltobetsy]

I never knew that when we have improved on some issue we had that we should return to the confessor and follow-up. That sounds like something I would like to do, but I wouldn’t want God to think I am being prideful. What are your thoughts on that?

I don’t think that’s what puzzleannie meant - I think she meant we needed to review daily three different things - what needs to be confessed, what needs amendment and what requires thanks.

That said, when I am making progress in a specific area, I sometimes bring it up in confession by confessing the sin again, because I have still committed it, but mentioning that it has been less frequent this time. “I’m still working on X. I have done it 4 times this week instead of my usual 10.” It’s like giving God thanks for the help in a semi-official setting.

Betsy

 

[MSParrott]

I don’t think that’s what puzzleannie meant - I think she meant we needed to review daily three different things - what needs to be confessed, what needs amendment and what requires thanks.

That said, when I am making progress in a specific area, I sometimes bring it up in confession by confessing the sin again, because I have still committed it, but mentioning that it has been less frequent this time. “I’m still working on X. I have done it 4 times this week instead of my usual 10.” It’s like giving God thanks for the help in a semi-official setting.

Betsy

Thanks for that response - it’s much clearer now.
After reflecting on this, it makes sense not to turn it around (ie: look what I did) Because it was not me that did anything - it was only by the Grace of God and the Holy Spirit nudging me. I get it now.

 

[onmyknees]

It’s an excellent idea to go to confession for venial sins - how often depends on a few things. How serious are the venial sins? How problematic? How frequent?

If I tell a teeny white venial lie once every couple of months I may not particularly benefit by confessing it.

If I find myself with an ingrained habit of compulsive but minor lying - it’s a daily or few-times-a-week thing, then absolutely an important tool in conquering it is frequent confession!

In any event, for venial sins it’s highly unlikely you’d need to go more than once a week (some priests, sadly, seem to think even that is too often, even though Pope John Paul 2 and Mother Teresa went that often or more).

Most people seem to find once every two weeks or once a month a happy medium.

 

[onmyknees]

onmyknees:
Hi LilyM!
Thanks again for the great advice regarding frequency of confession. I decided to go with the every two weeks since I haved habitual venial sins, some more serious than others, but they really start to bother me when I wait to confess longer than two weeks.

 

[Shoshana]

I go to direction around once a month and bring up any sins there on the whole. I do make special ‘confession times’ with my director for special times like Christmas, Easter and just this past week-end in my consecration to Our Lady.

I have made two general confessions for extreme cases like when I was part of an exorcism with a team. And it was very cleansing.

Once I wrote a very small list because I went to a different priest and he totally emberrassed me. He was seated in the sanctuary as it was a Lenten communal rite and I knelt and took out my list. And he literally laughed so loud. I turned every shade of red! Most people would think that I may have cracked a joke (which I do in social times), but I very well knew that he was laughing at me personnally. The very examen of conscience that I used was used that very same month for the Divine Mercy celebration after Easter. I felt consoled by the Lord, knowing that what I did was not scrupulosity (as I do have a direcor for over 20 years) but the desire to please our Lorxd!