Making Abuse Allegations Public?

[Mary67]

With all of the #metoo women coming out and naming high powered men that abused them, it made me wonder if the same boldness applies to non-celebs. Abuse doesn’t only happen in Hollywood (obviously), so, is it moral to publicly name your abuser? What if they are your parent/guardian? What if the abuse was not sexual? I’ve heard before it is charitable to stay silent and only pray for them. But this seems to me to enable the abuser’s grandiose sense of self to continue living without remorse. I heard recently of someone in a small town being called out for abuse allegations. This obviously will destroy that person’s reputation, but if they are true is it moral?

 

[Bon_Croix]

Yeah, and the new tax bill has a provision that disallows deductions for settlements with a non disclosure agreement that involve sexual harassment.

Boy, is that a coincidence.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

The idea that people would commit crimes against you, and that it would be wrong for you to tell the public – and by implication, wrong for you to tell the court system – is utterly outrageous. The fact that ANYONE in the Church has said that is unacceptable.

It is not always wise to publicly declare genuine cases of abuse. But it is always morally permissible.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

If someone has committed a crime or a serious wrong against you, you are under no requirement to sit there and suffer in silence.
I would say that if they have broken a law, committed serious harm and may well commit serious harm to others, then there is a pretty strong argument if not an actual duty that you report them to authorities. This is because their actions have an impact not just on the individual victim but on society overall. I realize in the case of abuse victims, they may have circumstances relating to their own coping with the incident or their own personal situations that prevent them from reporting for some time.

When making the report, you have a responsibility to be truthful and not bear false witness. But you don’t have any responsibility to just keep silent.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

You want to be careful about cases where you lack convincing proof – not because it would be wrong to accuse, in such cases, but because it could come back to bite you. Assume the other person will deny everything, and try to imagine what would happen as a result. An accusation, even if it isn’t believed, is likely to keep other people safer around the accused. But it may not be worse the pushback you get, being labeled a liar and who knows what else.

 

[Bon_Croix]

If what is said is true about Weinstein, he is a real piece of work. Someone who employs attorneys, private investigators, surely has a problem. I’m not saying he is guilty; however, it can appear that way given his use of attorneys and investigators to discredit accusers.

On the other hand, if he is not the monster the media makes him, he would still need attorneys and investigators to discredit false accusers.

Apparently, all this noise is due from some Federal investigation that was probably sourced from people’s deductions on their tax returns.

Coincidentally, or not, at the same time we are hearing more about “equal pay” for women.

The publicity is obviously a ploy and has been broadcast on the NATIONAL media. Weinstein is nothing more than a sacrificial victim (guilty or innocent). At the same time, they want their right to abort b/c they are, generally speaking, self-righteous, secular, quasi-nationalists.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

I’m guessing you haven’t been in that sort of working environment? My sister has. Weinstein deserves a rather low region in hell, I assure you. I pray for his conversion.

 

[Bon_Croix]

You are judging another.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

You are judging another.

OK, I take it back. I’ll revise by saying: Weinstein is guilty of many, if not all, of the crimes he is accused of. I do not know what his past is, or how his culpability may be lessened by his past.

 

[BornInMarch]

is it moral to publicly name your abuser

I would say it is not only ethical, it is actually necessary to do so. Abusers are dangerous, they rarely change, and those that do often relapse. Others need to know what these type of people are capable of lest they too become victims of it.

 

[Bon_Croix]

This can be dangerous territory.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

This can be dangerous territory.

Yeah, I know. Believing women is dangerous territory, especially when hundreds of them say in unison that a certain man is lecherous. I’m sure they’re all lying just to get equal pay and abortions.

 

[Bon_Croix]

You have said so.

 

[jfz178]

I am completely against sexual harassment and abuse. I do have some concerns about all this, though.

• Some of these accusations are from women who voluntarily put themselves in compromising positions. That doesn’t excuse the abuse, but the abuse clearly would not have happened without the victims’ willing cooperation. That should mitigate things, but it does not seem to.
• There seems to be a lack of due process here. Abusers are sometimes being convicted in the court of public opinion without convincing evidence and without their day in court. Most accusations are probably true, but we know not all of them are. Also some of the accusations I have seen are not actually crimes, but gross insensitivity. But the public penalty is the same.
• For the rich and famous, accusers have a clear profit motive, potential civil suit awards, which has a lower standard of proof. This is a contributing factor to the one above.
• There is a big disparity in how much we seem to care, depending on who the abuser is and who the victim is. Celebrities, we really care. But why should we care about them more than others? Average people, we care a little. But there is a bigger group no one is even talking about. Recent research has highlighted that former statistics have ignored males as victims and showed that surprisingly. males are more often victims of sexual harassment and abuse than females. The issue has been those instances are predominantly in prison and the military, so they are not counted. And no one seems to care about those victims at all.

 

[Bon_Croix]

Drinking and driving laws were supposed to curve the abuse.

 

[jfz178]

Yes and no. My daughter is an Assistant Attorney General who specialized in sexually violent predators. An opportunistic abuser will change if he feels he can no longer get away with it and/or if he successfully completes a good rehab program. The ones who cannot change are “predators.” They are in a class of their own. They are the worst of the worst. But there are clear definitions of predation. I don’t think most of the celebrity abusers are true predators, but opportunists.

 

[fredystairs]

I am also concerned about the lack of due process. I keep remembering the Duke lacrosse team who was accused of rape that turned out not to be true, but there was an assumption that they were guilty before the investigation was completed.

I am not advocating that those who are abused should not come forward, but there needs to be an investigation into the facts.

 

[Bon_Croix]

What wrong with opportunists? Is it a greyed conscience along with a lack of professionalism?

 

[Prodigal_Son]

There seems to be a lack of due process here. Abusers are sometimes being convicted in the court of public opinion without convincing evidence and without their day in court. Most accusations are probably true, but we know not all of them are. Also some of the accusations I have seen are not actually crimes, but gross insensitivity. But the public penalty is the same.

I share this concern. But the problem here is not the victim. It is the PRESS. The press has very powerful responsibilities here, and the press is not living up to their responsibilities.

Some of these accusations are from women who voluntarily put themselves in compromising positions. That doesn’t excuse the abuse, but the abuse clearly would not have happened without the victims’ willing cooperation. That should mitigate things, but it does not seem to.

What “thing” should it mitigate? Not the abuser’s responsibility, that’s for sure!

Recent research has highlighted that former statistics have ignored males as victims and showed that surprisingly. males are more often victims of sexual harassment and abuse than females. The issue has been those instances are predominantly in prison and the military, so they are not counted. And no one seems to care about those victims at all.

(1) We should care about male victims, absolutely. There is progress in this – see the recent report where male models complained about being abused by their photographers.

(2) Males are more often abused? Citation?

 

[Prodigal_Son]

I am not advocating that those who are abused should not come forward, but there needs to be an investigation into the facts.

And this is the role of the press. The press should not report on allegations unless they have done their own investigation.