Making Mass less intimidating

[babochka]

That’s interesting, because each time I attended a Protestant event, the last being a memorial for my niece, they were always ready with the handouts, which followed the program to the letter, including the hymns that would be played.

In my opinion, most of the missalettes you find in the pews are totally disorganized, don’t even provide cross-references that one can follow in a methodical manner. Some have the EP prayers in front, readings in another section, with antiphons scattered around somewhere. It’s hard to know, for example at a Spanish Mass, whether the priest is adlibbing or not. As long as parishes are paying good money for those disposable missalettes, I suggest a better and more unified way of following them from beginning to end. Not everyone is familiar with the flow of the Mass. Some of the options and allowances can throw some people off as well.

The official pew book (hardcover) for the Byzantine Catholic Church is a nightmare. Some even call it by its unofficial nickname, the Teal Terror. It can be confusing for anyone except the most seasoned cantor to use. At my parish, we keep those books in the pews, but we also have a smaller, bare-bones book that visitors like to use. It doesn’t have the changeable parts of the liturgy, and only gives the most common options for the music, but it much more user-friendly. It is about 30 pages and not disposable. Even that can be confusing for a visitor, though, especially one who is used to everything, word for word, being in the book. There are large parts of the liturgy that are left out of the little book.

Generally speaking, though, we encourage visitors to just experience the liturgy and not get so hung up on “doing it right”. I’m one who likes to follow along with printed materials, though. It makes me feel more secure, so I totally get why someone would want to have a guide to the Mass.

Many Latin-rite parishes had laminated cards when the new translation of the Mass was implemented. Something like that, which provides a basic outline of the Mass and gives proper responses, could be helpful for visitors.

 

[babochka]

:yup: I hated going to a mega church and these people “greet” you like they know you. “Oh hey, girl! Welcome!! So glad you can make it!” And either hold my hand way too long for a proper handshake or even embrace me. Yuck. Nope. Don’t touch me. Just let me find a seat.

Kendra, you sound like a fellow introvert! I once read a blog post along the lines of “12 Things You Are Doing Wrong in Your Church” or some such thing. They included things like “neglecting to have parking lot greeters”. Parking lot greeters? Ugh. I can’t even get out of my car without someone in my face, directing me. I would never set foot there.

I also don’t like the artificial “greet everyone at the door coming in” and don’t ever ask me, as a visitor, to stand to be recognized. Talk about a way to never see me again! But this stuff works for some people. It makes them feel special and appreciated. As an introvert, I think I’m probably in the minority. But some churches need to take it down a notch. They can still be friendly without imposing on people who need some space to feel comfortable.

Come to think of it, I would probably never set foot in my own parish. We’re super tiny, with only 20 families. You can’t be a visitor without being noticed. And we are checking you out. Mostly we’re just excited to have somebody to share our liturgy and traditions with, and we’re afraid you might not think we’re Catholic and bolt out the door. It happens more than you might think. Father will probably acknowledge you personally during the liturgy. He might explain how to receive Communion, or after the liturgy he’ll mention that our visitors are welcome to join us downstairs for something to eat. He won’t point, but you know who you are, and so does everyone else.

At any rate, we try to find a balance between welcoming and overwhelming. We all function as unofficial greeters. Even though I would be uncomfortable walking in to such an environment, wouldn’t it be horrible to walk into a church with only 70 people and have nobody greet you at all? It might be what I would prefer, because I’m an introvert and would rather get acquainted at my own pace, but it wouldn’t be the right thing to do. We have printed materials available, most of our parishioners are comfortable asking people if they’ve ever been to a Byzantine Catholic church before and explaining the differences if they have accidentally wandered in.

I guess my point is that we need to reach a variety of people, each with individual styles and preferences, without turning anybody off. It is a tall order. We should have printed materials available for those who prefer to get their information that way. We should have friendly people available for personal conversations and help showing visitors around and making them feel comfortable, too, because that is how others are reached. I’ve been in parishes that do both well, so I know it is possible.

 

[Havard]

Rather than trying to manage having reliable greeters at every entrance, who are the right balance of friendly and not over-bearing, why not just have one hospitality aide in the narthex/lobby who is available if people desire assistance? Then place a visitor’s guide pamphlet at all the entrances, with a prominent mention of the hospitality aide.