Making promises to God

[cgirl4ever]

I’ve put a thread like this before but it’s just not stopping. It’s like my mind just doesn’t let me control it sometimes. It’s horrible i’ll make promises to God and not always keep them. Sometimes I really feel like I am going to hell. I try not to but I need help. I pray and stuff like that but I seem to fall into that sin while i’m singing at mass or praying. Should I consult a spiritual director?

thank you

 

[Conservative]

I’ve put a thread like this before but it’s just not stopping. It’s like my mind just doesn’t let me control it sometimes. It’s horrible i’ll make promises to God and not always keep them. Sometimes I really feel like I am going to hell. I try not to but I need help. I pray and stuff like that but I seem to fall into that sin while i’m singing at mass or praying. Should I consult a spiritual director?

thank you

And THANK YOU for an excellent question.
I’ve done the same thing several times over the years - and wonder are we held down to the promises we make to God, if we don’t swear on the Bible or take an oath in Church? Looking forward to a response from someone who can advise us.

 

[leonie]

Making a resolution to do penance or prayer and breaking it is not a sin. It is a human weakness. The Apostles in the garden tried very hard to stay awake. But, they were overcome by their human weakness.

But, if you are breaking a commandment, it is a sin and should be confessed. Don’t be discouraged! Persevere!

Every person has root sins that they struggle against. I have confessed the same kind of sin over and over. Every confession I am resolved to never commit that sin, but then I fail. Back to the confessional. Back to struggling against my root sins.

Our human natures are inclined to sin. It’s our first impulse. It’s through persistent work and reliance on the sacraments that we can overcome sins.

As for voluntary penance (resolutions of penance or prayer), we just keep training our bodies and mind.

As we grow stronger, we are better able to keep our promises.

 

[cgirl4ever]

Making a resolution to do penance or prayer and breaking it is not a sin. It is a human weakness. The Apostles in the garden tried very hard to stay awake. But, they were overcome by their human weakness.

But, if you are breaking a commandment, it is a sin and should be confessed. Don’t be discouraged! Persevere!

Every person has root sins that they struggle against. I have confessed the same kind of sin over and over. Every confession I am resolved to never commit that sin, but then I fail. Back to the confessional. Back to struggling against my root sins.

Our human natures are inclined to sin. It’s our first impulse. It’s through persistent work and reliance on the sacraments that we can overcome sins.

As for voluntary penance (resolutions of penance or prayer), we just keep training our bodies and mind.

As we grow stronger, we are better able to keep our promises.

thank you for your advice and knowledge.

 

[johnstown_johnn]

I’ve put a thread like this before but it’s just not stopping. It’s like my mind just doesn’t let me control it sometimes. It’s horrible i’ll make promises to God and not always keep them. Sometimes I really feel like I am going to hell. I try not to but I need help. I pray and stuff like that but I seem to fall into that sin while i’m singing at mass or praying. Should I consult a spiritual director?

thank you

I’ll share an experience of mine some years ago; won’t go into much detail but the gist will. hopefully, be grasped.

In the confessional I poured out my sins…the good priest, after underscoring one sin in particular, stopped me and chastized me verbally and spiritually.

He summed his his words with, “You must promise God that you will NEVER do that again.”

I responded, “I do, Father.”
He then gave me absolution.

Wouldn’t you know just a few short months later the same occasion was put in front of me…I was tested mightily. Through God’s grace I turned away from that occasion and never looked back. It cost me friends in my refusal…that is the price we have to pay sometimes in loyalty to God.

I could never have turned away were it not for His graces.

A promise is a PROMISE especially when it is made to Him.

 

[MarieVeronica]

Perhaps I didn’t understand the question, and please do correct me if I am wrong… but it sounds more like you’re worried about making bargains with God. Is that correct? Like… “Lord, if You do this… I’ll do that”. I don’t think an occasional, sincere promise (such as that we make, in the Act of Contrition), is in itself… necessarily wrong. And we must pray for the grace, to keep those kind of promises.

But… maybe this will help. The next time you feel an impulse to make a promise (bargain?) to God… instead, try saying… “Lord, Thy Holy and Perfect Will be done”. In this way… you’re practicing a form of self denial, and at the same time… acknowledging that God’s Plan for your life, is the best. You’re expressing your trust in Him. It might help to think of it, that way. It’s a safety net, that always brings me peace. God bless.

 

[johnstown_johnn]

Perhaps I didn’t understand the question, and please do correct me if I am wrong… but it sounds more like you’re worried about making bargains with God. Is that correct? Like… “Lord, if You do this… I’ll do that”. I don’t think an occasional, sincere promise (such as that we make, in the Act of Contrition), is in itself… necessarily wrong. And we must pray for the grace, to keep those kind of promises.

I cannot understand how you equate my “promise” as a bargain with God. Maybe I was not clear sufficiently. My promise was to “never do again what I was sorry for in the confessional” it had nothing to do with a tit-for-tat “bargain” with God. It was entirely about never offending Him again in that particular way. The promise was made before a priest which underscored the magnitude of that promise. Nothing was in back of my mind for a “reward” it was solely for absolution. There is no "reward’ greater than absolution.

But… maybe this will help. The next time you feel an impulse to make a promise (bargain?) to God… instead, try saying… “Lord, Thy Holy and Perfect Will be done”. In this way… you’re practicing a form of self denial, and at the same time… acknowledging that God’s Plan for your life, is the best. You’re expressing your trust in Him. It might help to think of it, that way. It’s a safety net, that always brings me peace. God bless.

The promise was made in the confessional because I hurt Him. It was NOT a quid pro quo offer. I hope that clears that up. Sometimes things get lost in translation. Sorry, my fault.

 

[MarieVeronica]

Thank you for correcting me. I felt, maybe… I didn’t have it quite right. I think the word “promise” stumped me. Because we do make certain “promises” to God, as in the Act of Contrition. So, I wasn’t sure what the difficulty was (and therefore, should not have attempted a response).

I understand more clearly now. I hope the other repliers were able to answer your question. God bless.

 

[ancilla_Domini]

But… maybe this will help. The next time you feel an impulse to make a promise (bargain?) to God… instead, try saying… “Lord, Thy Holy and Perfect Will be done”. In this way… you’re practicing a form of self denial, and at the same time… acknowledging that God’s Plan for your life, is the best. You’re expressing your trust in Him. It might help to think of it, that way. It’s a safety net, that always brings me peace. God bless.

BEAUTIFULLY PUT. That is similar to the advice given to me by my spiritual director.

So I’ll share more of what my spiritual director told me: Do your best to love God. I made some promises to God too (to do the Liturgy of the Hours and keep up with it although I’m only a layperson), but it’s not a sin to break them because, as someone else said earlier, we are weak humans.

Don’t look back at your past failures. Saints are sinners who get back up! Every new moment is a new chance to love God. Take advantage of those and don’t let the devil catch you in his traps of despair and guilt.

 

[cgirl4ever]

I’ll share an experience of mine some years ago; won’t go into much detail but the gist will. hopefully, be grasped.

In the confessional I poured out my sins…the good priest, after underscoring one sin in particular, stopped me and chastized me verbally and spiritually.

He summed his his words with, “You must promise God that you will NEVER do that again.”

I responded, “I do, Father.”
He then gave me absolution.

Wouldn’t you know just a few short months later the same occasion was put in front of me…I was tested mightily. Through God’s grace I turned away from that occasion and never looked back. It cost me friends in my refusal…that is the price we have to pay sometimes in loyalty to God.

I could never have turned away were it not for His graces.

A promise is a PROMISE especially when it is made to Him.

thank you

 

[cgirl4ever]

Perhaps I didn’t understand the question, and please do correct me if I am wrong… but it sounds more like you’re worried about making bargains with God. Is that correct? Like… “Lord, if You do this… I’ll do that”. I don’t think an occasional, sincere promise (such as that we make, in the Act of Contrition), is in itself… necessarily wrong. And we must pray for the grace, to keep those kind of promises.

But… maybe this will help. The next time you feel an impulse to make a promise (bargain?) to God… instead, try saying… “Lord, Thy Holy and Perfect Will be done”. In this way… you’re practicing a form of self denial, and at the same time… acknowledging that God’s Plan for your life, is the best. You’re expressing your trust in Him. It might help to think of it, that way. It’s a safety net, that always brings me peace. God bless.

thank you. I might use that little prayer. But I really did mean making promises to God, not necicarially bargains.

 

[cgirl4ever]

BEAUTIFULLY PUT. That is similar to the advice given to me by my spiritual director.

So I’ll share more of what my spiritual director told me: Do your best to love God. I made some promises to God too (to do the Liturgy of the Hours and keep up with it although I’m only a layperson), but it’s not a sin to break them because, as someone else said earlier, we are weak humans.

Don’t look back at your past failures. Saints are sinners who get back up! Every new moment is a new chance to love God. Take advantage of those and don’t let the devil catch you in his traps of despair and guilt.

thank you

 

[John_Russell_Jr]

And THANK YOU for an excellent question.
I’ve done the same thing several times over the years - and wonder are we held down to the promises we make to God, if we don’t swear on the Bible or take an oath in Church? Looking forward to a response from someone who can advise us.

If you promise God something you should do it provided it is not something sinful. But it’s only a sin to not do it if you make an oath or vow.

 

[baltobetsy]

Maybe you could change your approach a little bit. Whenever you want to make a promise to God, ask for His help to do the thing you want to promise instead. Like this:
“Dear Lord, I want to say the Rosary every day to honor You and Your Blessed Mother. Please help me to do this. With Your help, I will try my best.”

Betsy

 

[Conservative]

If you promise God something you should do it provided it is not something sinful. But it’s only a sin to not do it if you make an oath or vow.

Thank you, John - but now pardon my pursuing this one step further. An oath, I believe, is swearing on the Bible. A vow is making a promise publicly before God and a formal audience or at the altar - such as (final) religious vows.

In other words, despite my promises (and I don’t mean promising to say a prayer, etc.) but serious promises outside of the above-mentioned are (we assume without consulting of a spiritual advisor) not a sin? If I’m correct, color me relieved.

 

[John_Russell_Jr]

Thank you, John - but now pardon my pursuing this one step further. An oath, I believe, is swearing on the Bible. A vow is making a promise publicly before God and a formal audience or at the altar - such as (final) religious vows.

In other words, despite my promises (and I don’t mean promising to say a prayer, etc.) but serious promises outside of the above-mentioned are (we assume without consulting of a spiritual advisor) not a sin? If I’m correct, color me relieved.

You can make an oath or vow anytime in public or by yourself. Jesus warns us not to make oaths unless there’s a good reason and anyone can make a vow. You may vow to pray the rosary everyday etc. A vow about something non spiritual elevates the act to a valuable religious act in the eyes of God and all vowed acts are more valuable in the eyes of God. You should not make vows without getting advice.
Dictionary definition-
VOW. A free, deliberate promise made to God to do something that is good and that is more pleasing to God than its omission would be. The one vowing must realize that a special sin is committed by violating the promise. A vow binds under pain of sin (grave or slight) according to the intention of the one taking the vow. If one vows with regard to grave matter, one is presumed to intend to bind oneself under pain of serious sin. Vows enhance the moral value of human actions on several counts. They unite the soul to God by a new bond of religion, and so the acts included under the vow become also acts of religion. Hence they are more meritorious. By taking a vow, a person surrenders to God the moral freedom of acting otherwise, like the one who not only gives at times the fruit of the tree, but gives up the tree itself. And vows forestall human weakness, since they do not leave matters to the indecision or caprice of the moment. Their very purpose is to invoke divine grace to sustain one’s resolution until the vow expires or, in the case of perpetual vows, even until death. (Etym. Latin vovere, to pledge, promise.)

**OATH. **The invocation of God’s name to bear witness to the truth. A person, being conscious of his or her own fallibility, professes by an oath that God is omniscient and the omnipotent avenger of falsehood. For an oath to be licit, the statement sworn to must be true; there must be sufficient reason for swearing, i.e., regarding some matter of importance or because the circumstances demand an oath, as in a court of law; and the statement itself must not be sinful, e.g., not disclosing a secret that should not be revealed.
Oaths are assertive when God is invoked as witness to the truth of a past or present event, e.g., that a crime was not committed. They are promissory when God is invoked to bear witness not only to a future act but also to a person’s present intention of doing or omitting something, e.g., the promise to fulfill the duties of one’s office.
Oaths may also be distinguished as invocatory and imprecatory. They are invocatory when God is simply called upon as witness to the truth; they are imprecatory when, in addition, he is also invoked as the avenger of falsehood. In the Old Testament oaths of imprecation were very frequent, e.g., in the expression, “The Lord do so to me and more also.” In current usage they now occur in the familiar form, “So help me God.” (Etym. Greek oetos, a going; fate.)

 

[Conservative]

You can make an oath or vow . ,

Many thanks, John for that clarification. I had to acknowledge your signature, which sounds familiar - “Saints are just sinners who keep trying.” a winner !

 

[cgirl4ever]

Maybe you could change your approach a little bit. Whenever you want to make a promise to God, ask for His help to do the thing you want to promise instead. Like this:
“Dear Lord, I want to say the Rosary every day to honor You and Your Blessed Mother. Please help me to do this. With Your help, I will try my best.”

Betsy

Thank you for your advice

 

[cgirl4ever]

You can make an oath or vow anytime in public or by yourself. Jesus warns us not to make oaths unless there’s a good reason and anyone can make a vow. You may vow to pray the rosary everyday etc. A vow about something non spiritual elevates the act to a valuable religious act in the eyes of God and all vowed acts are more valuable in the eyes of God. You should not make vows without getting advice.
Dictionary definition-
VOW. A free, deliberate promise made to God to do something that is good and that is more pleasing to God than its omission would be. The one vowing must realize that a special sin is committed by violating the promise. A vow binds under pain of sin (grave or slight) according to the intention of the one taking the vow. If one vows with regard to grave matter, one is presumed to intend to bind oneself under pain of serious sin. Vows enhance the moral value of human actions on several counts. They unite the soul to God by a new bond of religion, and so the acts included under the vow become also acts of religion. Hence they are more meritorious. By taking a vow, a person surrenders to God the moral freedom of acting otherwise, like the one who not only gives at times the fruit of the tree, but gives up the tree itself. And vows forestall human weakness, since they do not leave matters to the indecision or caprice of the moment. Their very purpose is to invoke divine grace to sustain one’s resolution until the vow expires or, in the case of perpetual vows, even until death. (Etym. Latin vovere, to pledge, promise.)

**OATH. **The invocation of God’s name to bear witness to the truth. A person, being conscious of his or her own fallibility, professes by an oath that God is omniscient and the omnipotent avenger of falsehood. For an oath to be licit, the statement sworn to must be true; there must be sufficient reason for swearing, i.e., regarding some matter of importance or because the circumstances demand an oath, as in a court of law; and the statement itself must not be sinful, e.g., not disclosing a secret that should not be revealed.
Oaths are assertive when God is invoked as witness to the truth of a past or present event, e.g., that a crime was not committed. They are promissory when God is invoked to bear witness not only to a future act but also to a person’s present intention of doing or omitting something, e.g., the promise to fulfill the duties of one’s office.
Oaths may also be distinguished as invocatory and imprecatory. They are invocatory when God is simply called upon as witness to the truth; they are imprecatory when, in addition, he is also invoked as the avenger of falsehood. In the Old Testament oaths of imprecation were very frequent, e.g., in the expression, “The Lord do so to me and more also.” In current usage they now occur in the familiar form, “So help me God.” (Etym. Greek oetos, a going; fate.)

thank you

 

[spec110]

Ive had similar problems about keeping promises to our Lord Jesus. I pray that I am forgiven and also given strength to stop my sinning.