Making someone like you

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Just better to walk away, if ya really want a friend go get a dog.
 
If she told you she doesn’t like you romantically and never will, how is that a “mixed signal”?

That is, in fact, a crystal clear signal. The signal is “no thanks, dude.” Maybe she likes talking to you as a friend, but accept that she does not want to date you. She’s made that super clear.
 
I can’t say this is a particularly charitable attitude.

People (men and women) get rejected. Sometimes you like someone, and they don’t like you back. Sometimes they like being around you and spending time with you but they’re not interested romantically. Also, if you’re 14, not everyone is going to be ready to date. A lot of girls still aren’t interested in dating at all.

I’d beware of a lot of the “friend zone” talk, because there’s a lot of it that gets into an entitled attitude towards women. Sometimes you can stay as friends, and that’s ok - friends are good! I’d even recommend female friends for a young man, because it helps you get used to talking to women as people and not just thinking solely about them as potential partners (an attitude that tends to turn women off).
BoomBoomMancini said:
If she told you she doesn’t like you romantically and never will, how is that a “mixed signal”?
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Hormones, likely. Sometimes people really do want to be just friends, but we get a lot of messages in our society (especially as young people) that if a woman is friendly it must mean she’s interested. And of course all those lovely hormones tend to push us to want to hang on to any “chance” we see.

It’s up to you if you want to stay friends. If you enjoy her company even with no possibility of romantic attraction, I would go for it. But some people find the fact of being rejected and still being attracted to that person to be too much to deal with, and that’s ok. If that’s you, back off a touch, give yourself some space.
 
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You are right, I should move on. It’s going to be hard but life goes on. I’d be kidding myself if I said I still had a big chance with the Same girl.
 
michael-kaw said:
It’s a bit strange because the said she doesn’t like me and never would but then we have good conversations so the signals are a bit mixed but anyway it is ok, guess I’ll just have to wait and see
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That is not a mixed signal. That is a clear signal that she is interested in you as a friend but that you ought to expect to see her choose someone else as a boyfriend.
Honestly, if you want to seem attractive, branch out and make friends with other girls, too. She is never going to totally relax around you until it is clear you have resigned yourself to never being her date. Ever. Could she change her mind some day? Sure, but it isn’t likely to happen unless a lot of time goes by and you show yourself to be someone who respects her wishes. (By someday, I mean someday a LONG ways in the future…like long after it has stopped crossing your mind that anything is possible, LOL!!)
Besides, I have seen it happen over and over that women who think some particular guy is great but not great for them are later the ones who set him up with one of their friends. They don’t want him for themselves, but they do want to see him happy and making someone happy (partly so they don’t have to feel bad for “rejecting” a nice guy who wasn’t a good fit for them).
Respect her wishes. That is the way to go. Be yourself, but that should mean developing yourself as someone who wants to enhance the ways in which his natural self is enjoyable to others and curbing the natural impulses that come across as rude or off-putting. That isn’t being false. That is just being sociable and considerate of others.
By the way, when a woman “friend zones” you and you respect it, you are in a position to ask her for advice on how to conduct yourself in the pursuit of someone else. You can expect a real desire to help you favorably impress women other than her. It may seem disappointing to get a “sister” when you wanted a girlfriend, but sisters can be very helpful when you’re trying to figure out women.
 
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I should move on your right, going to be hard but life goes on
 
As others have said, you should move on. If you can still be friends with her, great; if not, then you should walk away.

However, some general dating advice: be your genuine self. That is the only way you will have a healthy relationship. It’s fine to joke and be flirty, as long as you are genuine and not trying to be manipulative. If you try to change yourself to impress a girl, then it’s not going to go well.
 
You are allegedly 14 yo. What’s hard about moving on?
 
The best way to get someone to like you is to just be yourself.
 
Whatever the manosphere tells you sometimes a woman just wont see you as “boyfriend material” and when this happens I can assure you there is no formula or strategy that will change her mind or move you out of the “friend zone”.

Treat girls like people. Friends of both genders can be a real blessing and at 14 you have plenty of time to figure this stuff out.
 
Fortunately for me the only ones I need to love me already do. Now I just have to reciprocate it.
 
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Well I am not sure it could end up being easier than I think, it’s just I liked the girl for roughly a year and it would just be a big change
 
how would it be a big change, 13 to 14 yo and never out of the friendzone
 
michael-kaw said:
I may be a bit young to have a girlfriend but for the future I have a feeling not many girls would exactly want to go out with me at first glance lol. So it sinful if you use tactics which can make the girl start to like you. Tactics like talking, making her laugh, Doing her favours etc…?
I am wondering if that is a bit manipulative i don’t know really.
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First off, talking is an instant mortal sin and if you weren’t already aware of that I think you need to go back and read some of the apologetic tracks on this website.

Humor is - interestingly - linked with aggressiveness, hence why it is relatively rare to find high profile female comedians. Women innately desire humor in men, though a religious woman will want the humor to be clean.

If your goal is for her to think you’re a certain person that you’re not, you’ll just exhaust yourself since you’ll have to maintain that mirage indefinitely. Plus if you end up deciding you’re not interested in her, you’ll be able to make a better decision if the two of you are interacting with your natural behavior.

Peace.
 
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Why i mean by big change is that not liking her would be just a bit different to what I’m used to, I’m guessing I won’t take to long to adapt but it’s fine
 
From what you plan to do I think you could stumble on someone who may take advantage of you if you try to please her too much. But I don’t think it’s deceitful to try and be nice to someone you like in hope they will like you back. But don’t sell yourself short before even trying. You don’t see yourself like others do. Give love a chance.
 
This is a lesson.
michael-kaw said:
It’s a bit strange because the said she doesn’t like me and never would
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I gather that meant she was not interested in you in a boyfriend way.
It’s a hard lesson, but we all learn it. Everyone of us gets our heart broken at least once. It’s normal.

Pray and keep busy. Do you play sport
 
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