Making spiritual restitution

[leonie]

My confessor today gave me a stern lecture on gossip–a sin I confessed.

*BTW, does it annoy you when you confess a sin, and the priest says, “that sin is very bad. You shouldn’t do it.”?

Yeah, that’s why I’m confessing it, silly! *

Anyway, he said detraction and gossiping is steal a person’s reputation. However, it’s very hard to make restitution for this kind of theft. He asked me to meditate on this for my assigned penance.

During my meditation, I felt strongly that I should make some spiritual restitution. So, I am thinking that I will pray and fast intensely for this person whom I gossiped about. And, that I should mortify my tongue in some way.

What do you think?

I don’t want to apologize to the person because it will really wound him. I think it would be inflicting un-necessary pain. And, it would damage our relationship–he doesn’t have many friends.

 

[baltobetsy]

You might consider trying to rebuild this person’s reputation in the eyes of the people to whom you spoke about the person before. “Maybe I was wrong when I said…” or “Did you notice how well he did X?” or “She’s really great with her kids.” You get the idea.

Betsy

 

[TOP]

My confessor today gave me a stern lecture on gossip–a sin I confessed.

*BTW, does it annoy you when you confess a sin, and the priest says, “that sin is very bad. You shouldn’t do it.”?

Yeah, that’s why I’m confessing it, silly! *

Anyway, he said detraction and gossiping is steal a person’s reputation. However, it’s very hard to make restitution for this kind of theft. He asked me to meditate on this for my assigned penance.

During my meditation, I felt strongly that I should make some spiritual restitution. So, I am thinking that I will pray and fast intensely for this person whom I gossiped about. And, that I should mortify my tongue in some way.

What do you think?

I don’t want to apologize to the person because it will really wound him. I think it would be inflicting un-necessary pain. And, it would damage our relationship–he doesn’t have many friends.

My Priest blasted into the perish about gossip calling it “murder of the name of someone” during a homily one Sunday. It was “donut Sunday” and there was alot of squirming in the pews. Then he said with a smile “enjoy the donuts and coffee after Mass”. He’s a great Priest. I’d say to the person “I’m sorry if I was ever out of line with you in the past, I speak before I think sometimes” and shake their hands or something like that. They probably already know about it. Just my opinion, Tim

 

[CarrieH]

I’m with baltobetsy – try to bring to others’ attention that person’s positive qualities. Pray for him, and if the subject ever happens to come up, a general, vague statement about speaking before thinking, along with an apology, should cover it. May God bless you as you work on this most difficult and common habit.

 

[leonie]

You might consider trying to rebuild this person’s reputation in the eyes of the people to whom you spoke about the person before. “Maybe I was wrong when I said…” or “Did you notice how well he did X?” or “She’s really great with her kids.” You get the idea.

Betsy

yes, I’ll do it. I’ll ask God to reveal his virtues to me. I’ve been thinking negatively so long about this person, I think I have trouble seeing any good qualities.

 

[leonie]

My Priest blasted into the perish about gossip calling it “murder of the name of someone” during a homily one Sunday. It was “donut Sunday” and there was alot of squirming in the pews. Then he said with a smile “enjoy the donuts and coffee after Mass”. He’s a great Priest. I’d say to the person “I’m sorry if I was ever out of line with you in the past, I speak before I think sometimes” and shake their hands or something like that. They probably already know about it. Just my opinion, Tim

I really don’t think it would be wise to apologize to the person I detracted because I think it would be salt in the wound. I don’t think he knows about the detraction. But, I like the line. I’ll pray about it and ask God to inspire some kind of apology if the opportunity seems right. And, I’ll pray for an opportunity, too.

But, I’ve heard it’s a good idea to pray for someone that you don’t admire or have bad feelings in this manner, “Lord, make so and so holy. Make them so holy that I would love to sit at his feet and learn about you. Exalt him in your eyes. Make him a great saint. Let him teach me about Love.”

 

[CarrieH]

But, I’ve heard it’s a good idea to pray for someone that you don’t admire or have bad feelings in this manner, “Lord, make so and so holy. Make them so holy that I would love to sit at his feet and learn about you. Exalt him in your eyes. Make him a great saint. Let him teach me about Love.”

Another good thing is to pray, “Lord, let me see this person as You see him, with Your love.” I tried this with a difficult coworker, and as I came to see her woundedness, I was able to react to her with more compassion and less aggravation when she was having one of her “days.”