Male Bridesmaid

[bionacho]

Hello! My fiancee and I are planning our wedding, and we have a problem. I have three people I want to be groomsmen, but my fiancee only has one. Can she have male bridesmaid’s to make up the difference? We really have no other female relatives or friends, and she is very close to two of her male friends.

 

[btdn]

Hello! My fiancee and I are planning our wedding, and we have a problem. I have three people I want to be groomsmen, but my fiancee only has one. Can she have male bridesmaid’s to make up the difference? We really have no other female relatives or friends, and she is very close to two of her male friends.

The bride having (female) bridesmaids and the groom having (male) groomsmen are not necessary. You need the bride, the groom, a priest/deacon and two witnesses. (cf. Canon 1108)

I do not go to many weddings (I should just start showing up at all the weddings at my parish…), but what you are suggesting would be unusual to say the least.

You might want then to have a female groomsman too, then.

At the reception for a wedding I was at recently the bridesmaids and the groomsmen participated in the ‘second dance’ (right after the first dance by the newly wedded). You might want to avoid that.

 

[redrosetea]

I wouldn’t call a male a bridesmaid… rather a witness to the marriage

 

[KCT]

A friend of mine’s husband had a female attendant on his side of the wedding party.

 

[LilyM]

I say it’s fine as long as you don’t expect them to partner each other in the bridal waltz

 

[EasterJoy]

Unless the BridesMan is going to dress in drag (gonna draw straws for that?! ), you and your fiance will have a best man, a maid/matron of honor, and two groomsmen. There’s nothing wrong with that. The extra ushers will come in handy, actually. Assuming they dont’ stand where the laity should not, exactly where your attendants stand during your vows probably isn’t a liturgical question.

Ask the priest officiating at your wedding about your plans, though, and when you find what he finds agreeable, mention what you have planned to your attendants before the rehearsal. The night before your wedding is not the time for the drama of disagreements with officiant and/or your closest friends. It just isn’t necessary, and besides, it will please them that you think their opinions count for something…not about who your attendants will be, but the smaller issue of where they will be during the processional, ceremony, and recessional.

 

[puzzleannie]

Hello! My fiancee and I are planning our wedding, and we have a problem. I have three people I want to be groomsmen, but my fiancee only has one. Can she have male bridesmaid’s to make up the difference? We really have no other female relatives or friends, and she is very close to two of her male friends.

none of this has anything to do with a Catholic wedding, as attendants have no role in the liturgical rite, other than the two witnesses, who can be anyone. You can choose as many attendants (meaning people who have to spring for the cost of an expensive outfit and get to sit at a reserved table at the reception) as you wish, but there is no may anatomically a man can be a bridesmaid. He is an attendant.

 

[SMHW]

I agree with those who say this isn’t a Catholic issue.

But from a purely social point of view…

There is no reason that the number of bridesmaids has to be the same as the number of groomsmen/ushers. I have been to a few weddings where there were more of one group than the other.

 

[Katie1723]

Hello! My fiancee and I are planning our wedding, and we have a problem. I have three people I want to be groomsmen, but my fiancee only has one. Can she have male bridesmaid’s to make up the difference? We really have no other female relatives or friends, and she is very close to two of her male friends.

My future sister in law is having her brother as her “man of honor”. There is NOTHING wrong with that.
Kathy

 

[THurifer2]

Hello! My fiancee and I are planning our wedding, and we have a problem. I have three people I want to be groomsmen, but my fiancee only has one. Can she have male bridesmaid’s to make up the difference? We really have no other female relatives or friends, and she is very close to two of her male friends.

Go for it! under one condition. You attend Mass the next Sunday morning to fulfill your obligation and live a chaste married life in line with the teachings of the Catholic Church…which includes the openess to lie…ie to Artificial birth control…

let me be the first here to tell you. Using artificial Birth Control is an intrinsic evil and a mortal sin.

Soooooooo have a great marriage and FRUITFULL life.

 

[EasterJoy]

Go for it! under one condition. You attend Mass the next Sunday morning to fulfill your obligation and live a chaste married life in line with the teachings of the Catholic Church…which includes the openess to lie…ie to Artificial birth control…

let me be the first here to tell you. Using artificial Birth Control is an intrinsic evil and a mortal sin.

Soooooooo have a great marriage and FRUITFULL life.

a) Your conditions have nothing to do with their particular situation, excepting that they’re getting married, and for that reason are off-topic.

b) In spite of common misconceptions to the contrary, if they have a nuptial Mass on Sunday or late enough on Saturday to be an appropriate time for a Vigil Mass, it fulfills their Sunday obligation and that of every Catholic there, regardless of what readings they use. forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=20461

 

[LilyM]

My future sister in law is having her brother as her “man of honor”. There is NOTHING wrong with that.
Kathy

I like that title ‘man of honour’ - conjures up pictures of a knight in shining armour :knight1:

 

[Dicerning]

a) Your conditions have nothing to do with their particular situation, excepting that they’re getting married,.

Which makes Thurifers conditions pertinent to the topic.

b) …, if they have a nuptial Mass on Sunday or late enough on Saturday to be an appropriate time for a Vigil Mass,

which is extremely rare and downright impossible in most parishes…at least in my diocese because we have a policy that Saturday Nuptial Masses have to be complete at least 2 hours prior to the regular vigil Masses. Canon Law does not define at what “hour” the next day begins but throughout the US it is 4 P.M. I suppose in some places a nuptial Mass can being at 4 pm and it wouldn’t interfere with the regular vigil Mass…but prudence must be practiced on whether it would interfere with regular confession times.

Most of the time nuptial masses do not fall late enough to qualify as a sunday obligation. At least not around here.
z

 

[Sarabande]

[Edited] I see no problem with having a male attendant. Although it’s not common, I have seen it done a few times for the weddings I’ve been a musician for - mostly for non-
Catholic weddings, but also for a couple Catholic weddings. As others have said, though, it’s not really a Catholic issue, nor is it obligatory to have an equal number of attendants on both side. My husband and I didn’t. We just had one of his groomsmen walk my two bridesmaids down the aisle and during the introductions at the reception.

 

[Phemie]

none of this has anything to do with a Catholic wedding, as attendants have no role in the liturgical rite, other than the two witnesses, who can be anyone.

So true.

Reading the registers from the parishes around where I grew up show that the usual witnesses were the fathers of the bride and groom – or a male relative of either if the father was dead. This really didn’t start to change until the early 60s with the arrival of television in our neck of the woods. The typical ‘Hollywood’ wedding gave brides a different view of how a wedding ‘should be’.

We opted for just our two witnesses: my best friend from nursing school and DH’s brother. When my friend asked what I wanted her to wear I said “Look through your closet, I’m sure you’ll find something appropriate.” She did and it didn’t cost her anything. We couldn’t see spending a fortune for ‘stuff’. DH married in uniform and MIL made my gown (fabric $35). It was just as nice a wedding as it would have been if we’d spent thousands.

 

[ChemicalBean]

Sure…list them as “bride’s attendants” and “groom’s attendants” in the program, and have them stand at your side (if that’s what’s done) during the witnessing of the exchange of vows, and sit on your respective sides if that is also done.

 

[zagjames]

Q.Is there a type of wedding ceremony that’s groomsmen only (i.e. no bridesmaids)?

A.As a matter of fact there is, and it’s called a king’s wedding – both the bride and groom have male attendants (the bride’s are called bridesmen). This kind of ceremony reflects the days of marriage by capture, when the groom’s friends would escort the bride to her wedding to protect her from being whisked away by other suitors. If the bride has many brothers or male friends, this is a great idea. Don’t feel as though you can’t include any women in the ceremony, however: A female honor attendant or one bridesmaid among the bridesmen is absolutely fine!

from www.theknot.com

 

[joandarc2008]

I think you should do whatever it is that is going to make you two happy on YOUR wedding day. It is the biggest day of your life and the only time where you will actually share that actual sacramental moment with another person. I know that I am really looking forward to mine in less than two months: I personally believe that the witnesses, attendants, etc. should be the people that supported your relationship to help you grow to this point. We are truly lucky to have people like that in our lives and we should thank God for them every day.