B
Burning
Guest
I posted awhile back about my husband’s unfaithfulness. I think my anger really has become hatred. but a priest told me I should pray for him. First let me make these points:
He was my first love. And I was entirely his. We were only married a year and half, and when I finally started to realize he didn’t love me, I stayed because I’d promised for better or worse, till death. No where in there did I add a clause that stated, “until or unless or so long as.” I promised to loved him unconditionally ie. no exceptions. I can’t say I still feel the same way. He has done what I once thought was impossible by making me lose all affectionate feelings for him. But I’ve always felt love was more of a choice and commitment than a feeling. And while when I think of him if I feel anything I feel…well, not loving emotions, I guess I think I should still love him in my heart. He was my husband, he is the father of my child…he wronged me, but whether its foolish or not I feel I should continue to love him. I dont ever wanna be with him again and I’m not in contact with him, but to pray for him. To want the best for him, for his soul, especially…?
But he seems to be without conscious. In fact, it almost seems as if hes a sociopath. I mean he fits the description to perfection. For God to change him/save him, he’s have to want it. And trust me when I tell you thats the last thing he wants. Hes really sick. For him to have a change of heart, even a deathbed conversion, is impossible. So I have to admit I haven’t prayed much because I feel like I would be wasting my time and energy. But I don’t want him to be lost. And God has done some pretty impossible things in my life…and in the world itself. So then I think surely he could do this?
If God would do anything for me, I would want him to save my soul, my son’s soul, and my husbands soul. But my faith depth is very shallow.
what do you think?
He was my first love. And I was entirely his. We were only married a year and half, and when I finally started to realize he didn’t love me, I stayed because I’d promised for better or worse, till death. No where in there did I add a clause that stated, “until or unless or so long as.” I promised to loved him unconditionally ie. no exceptions. I can’t say I still feel the same way. He has done what I once thought was impossible by making me lose all affectionate feelings for him. But I’ve always felt love was more of a choice and commitment than a feeling. And while when I think of him if I feel anything I feel…well, not loving emotions, I guess I think I should still love him in my heart. He was my husband, he is the father of my child…he wronged me, but whether its foolish or not I feel I should continue to love him. I dont ever wanna be with him again and I’m not in contact with him, but to pray for him. To want the best for him, for his soul, especially…?
But he seems to be without conscious. In fact, it almost seems as if hes a sociopath. I mean he fits the description to perfection. For God to change him/save him, he’s have to want it. And trust me when I tell you thats the last thing he wants. Hes really sick. For him to have a change of heart, even a deathbed conversion, is impossible. So I have to admit I haven’t prayed much because I feel like I would be wasting my time and energy. But I don’t want him to be lost. And God has done some pretty impossible things in my life…and in the world itself. So then I think surely he could do this?
If God would do anything for me, I would want him to save my soul, my son’s soul, and my husbands soul. But my faith depth is very shallow.
what do you think?