Manhood and Working:

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AttackfromtheJWs

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Is it the duty of Catholic men to support their family (If they have one)? What if they lack skills no matter how hard they try?
 
It’s the duty of any family man to support his family. It doesn’t matter what religion the man believes in.

A man can support his family in many different ways, not just bringing in money for the family. Many men bring home an adequate paycheck but they don’t support their family in other more important ways.

It’s not necessary for a man to bring home a paycheck if circumstances are such that it is not possible, or another alternative works better. That said, again, there are many different ways in which a man supports his family. For example: keeping everyone safe, making sure the family is in good standing with their community, raising loving children, taking care of the emotional needs of the family, solving problems with wisdom and respect for others…an exhaustive list could go on and on.

It’s up to everyone to do the best they can with what God has given them, including men with families.
 
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Opinion only, so you get what you pay for…

I think it’s every able adult’s responsibility to self-support and build the skills required to be independent. These days, unable seems to be very liberally interpreted.
 
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You could support your family by staying home, keeping house, planning and preparing the family meals, and most importantly, caring for the children–while your wife works outside the home and brings home a paycheck that will meet the expenses of the family.

Is this what you had in mind when you asked the question? Do you have those skills, especially the ability to provide good care for a baby/child?

If not–what exactly did you have in mind? Surely you weren’t thinking of getting married and informing your wife that you have no skills and can’t work, so if she needs money to buy food, pay rent, etc., she will have to get a job. 🤔
 
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AttackfromtheJWs said:
What if they lack skills no matter how hard they try?
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I tend to think that if a man doesn’t have the skills necessary to get and hold down a decent job, he’s probably not ready for marriage and family life - there’s a lot of overlap there.

(I would say the same for a woman.)
 
Yeah. I was wondering if a man is allowed to do such things. I’m not Catholic yet but was wondering about doctrine regarding this. I ask because I get easily distracted by movement in school despite trying not to get distracted and then my grades drop which leads to my self-esteem getting ruined further. Then I get depressed and things get dark real quick. So I fail school easily. I’ve been really depressed lately and realized I have no skills even the ones I thought I had I am terrible at. I also can’t gain muscle or weight; I’m 15 and 6’3"/117 LBS and can’t left weight. Maybe there are some low-skill jobs that don’t pay insignificant wages for families. Sorry I get really stressed about my future because I have none.
 
Being a stay at home man/woman should not be a solution for being not qualified.
Really, there are jobs for almost everyone. Not always paid great, but jobs.
 
You need to seek out help from professionals concerning your disabilities–and that’s what they are.

Being easily distracted, failing in school, getting depressed–these have medical or psychological causes, and you can be helped! Lots of children and teens struggle with these problems and assume that it’s just the way they were born (“born this way”), but that’s just not true! You may have some form of attention-deficit disorder, or perhaps a sensory-perception disorder. Nothing to be ashamed of!

Don’t be afraid. I don’t know if your parents are kind and helpful, or if they think you’re a flake–either way, seek out help yourself. Start with your school counselor–that’s free, and I’m pretty certain that your parents won’t be informed if you ask the counselor to keep your visit confidential. The counselor will be able to refer you, if necessary, to people who can help you overcome your difficulties and live a life that you are happier with.

Good luck to you!
 
Can you identify the skills you do have. You are humble , you are intelligent, you question and research. What else.
 
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I think it’s the duty of a Catholic man to do what is required of him to support his family. And to be prepared to sacrifice his personal comfort for his family.

That could take many forms, and has taken many forms throughout history.

For me personally, it was to study for the past four years and now to work as a teacher so that my wife can stay home and mind the kids when they hopefully start to arrive.
 
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I agree with other posters. If a person doesn’t have the skills necessary to support themselves and their family, then it IS their duty to gain those skills.
 
I don’t agree with some of the replies, some people have mental illness, lack of education, learning disabilities etc there are other ways to provide not just money wise. There are tons of married couples where the women make more then the men.
 
Allegra, I can’t remember who it was–maybe you remember.

There was a delightful CAF member who was a stay-at-home dad, mainly because his wife had a job that paid much more than he could make with his skills set.

He always posted uplifting things and was very committed to the Lord Jesus and His Catholic Church. I had the impression from his posts that he and his wife loved the arrangement, and he loved staying home and keeping house and raising his children (I believe he had five ?? children, but I may be thinking of other CAF posters.)

Do you remember who that was? Is he still around CAF? I always felt like he should write a book about being a 'househusband." His comments were really great.

I can’t see any reason that a couple can’t make the choice that Mom will work outside the home while Dad stays home with the children and the house. It depends on what works best for the family.

But…as I mentioned earlier, there is a set of skills that is necessary to be able to keep a house and raise children, and those skills are many and varied, and not everyone can do them!
 
Thanks! Is he still around? I’m sure he would have wise comments for the OP of this thread.
 
I haven’t seen him around myself but I haven’t been around much either.
 
Please OP, do not despair. You have a good many years ahead of you before you get married and have to support a family. It’s nice to think ahead and dream a bit, but don’t dwell on it. Do your best in school, get a tutor, or help from your teachers before or after school. Talk to your guidance counselor. Develope your interests. Speak to your PE teacher about a workout program to gain muscle, but many young men don’t gain weight until they are out of their teens.

Relax. 🙂 You don’t have to have it all figured out right this minute.
 
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