Mariatial Chastity

[chain]

Oh great, another one of those threads

Not to create too detailed of scenerio, but what levels of physical intimacy are considered by the members here to be morally acceptable when intercourse between the married couple is not possible.

Now I know that anything that ends with an orgasm is obviously not an option - nor is anything directly on that path a good idea either (no foreplay) - dance on the edge and you will always, eventually fall.

But how far back should that line be drawn? Is sharing a bed too much, if it can not be the marriage bed? Or does a certain level of physical intimacy need to be maintained for the sake of the marriage once physical relations are again possible?

 

[ishallbehealed]

Hello Chain

 Hmmm...this got me thinking about when I had a surgery that required abstinence until a certain time which was looong and even though I was feeling ok I knew it would not be a good idea. I instead turned to forums that were for couples practicing NFP and found that a lot of them actually looked forward to the time apart because they could work on other types of intimacy, such as: having conversations that were meaningful and not just about home, work, kids blah blah blah. They stressed the need for physical affection but that giving and receiving love is not about a destination and affection alone can be its own giving without turning into a moment of temptation. The one thing i found for myself is when we learned how to express love for one another without it leading to something (no foreplay) we also learned how to respect each other as partners and not just people who come together and make love.

Hugging and kissing is great especially when the pressures off the head in other directions. We joked that we felt like we had found the fountain of youth and could just innocently enjoy a loving kiss and embrace for the beauty that it is. I didn’t feel objectified and my husband didn’t feel that he had to respond in a way that would have usually led to making love. We had the blessing of being able to connect as friends and husband and wife. This period was about 3 months long and even now we don’t feel that every interaction has to lead to sexual union but when it does it is a lot deeper and because we have this other side to our love life it means that the pressure to only give and receive love through physical union is not there.

A marriage has many facets and you come to realize that you have many different relationships with your spouse within the same marriage. I learned that I could truly become more then just a giver or receiver of physical union and be intimate in other ways which makes everything feel fuller and emotionally closer and the respect grows deeper.

I know this is sounding a bit strange but I hope it was able to provide some insight.

MAM

 

[prstoessel]

Hello ChainI know this is sounding a bit strange but I hope it was able to provide some insight.

Nothing strange at all. Very thoughtful sharing. Excellent answer.