M
ManofGod1
Guest
Is the following article in line with the Catholic View on sex? (The paragraphs below)
What do you do when your spouse won’t have sex with you? Husbands and wives are puzzled, hurt, and frustrated because their spouse either refuses sex or will have sex only on rare occasions. If you have worked hard to be understanding, kind, clean, attractive, affectionate, patient, an initiator, etc., and your spouse still won’t have sex with you, this blog is for you.
Scripture is clear that it is wrong to consistently deprive your spouse of sex:
“The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (NLT)
The Message paraphrases (and illuminates) 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 as:
“Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.”
I do not interpret this Scripture to mean that you should never turn your spouse down when s/he asks you for sex because sometimes we have legitimate reasons for not wanting physical intimacy at a particular time. I do interpret this Scripture to mean that you should not turn your spouse down frequently and certainly not for months or years (I’m not talking about situations where a spouse is verbally/physically abusive or demands sexual activity that feels wrong or is physically painful).
Despite this clear biblical teaching, many Christian wives and husbands avoid or refuse sex. Why? Because of selfishness.
It’s human nature to avoid pain. If we think something will be unpleasant, we tend to avoid it, even if avoiding that thing will cause someone else pain or unpleasantness. For example, kids typically don’t want to do chores. They seem like unpleasant tasks, so kids avoid chores even if that means that their parents will be upset or left to pick up the slack. It takes years to train children to see past their selfish impulses to the bigger picture of “we all live in this house so we must all cooperate to keep it running well.”
What do you do when your spouse won’t have sex with you? Husbands and wives are puzzled, hurt, and frustrated because their spouse either refuses sex or will have sex only on rare occasions. If you have worked hard to be understanding, kind, clean, attractive, affectionate, patient, an initiator, etc., and your spouse still won’t have sex with you, this blog is for you.
Scripture is clear that it is wrong to consistently deprive your spouse of sex:
“The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (NLT)
The Message paraphrases (and illuminates) 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 as:
“Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.”
I do not interpret this Scripture to mean that you should never turn your spouse down when s/he asks you for sex because sometimes we have legitimate reasons for not wanting physical intimacy at a particular time. I do interpret this Scripture to mean that you should not turn your spouse down frequently and certainly not for months or years (I’m not talking about situations where a spouse is verbally/physically abusive or demands sexual activity that feels wrong or is physically painful).
Despite this clear biblical teaching, many Christian wives and husbands avoid or refuse sex. Why? Because of selfishness.
It’s human nature to avoid pain. If we think something will be unpleasant, we tend to avoid it, even if avoiding that thing will cause someone else pain or unpleasantness. For example, kids typically don’t want to do chores. They seem like unpleasant tasks, so kids avoid chores even if that means that their parents will be upset or left to pick up the slack. It takes years to train children to see past their selfish impulses to the bigger picture of “we all live in this house so we must all cooperate to keep it running well.”