Marital debt duty to have sex

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TULIPed said:
I wonder how husbands might love their wives as “Christ loved the church”?
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On the one hand, it means that a husband would lay down his life for his wife.

It also means that it wouldn’t kill him to fold and put away a load of laundry . . .
 
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chasingcars said:
When a husband initiates marital relations with his wife, he is not sacrifing anything but he’s demanding his wife to make a sacrifice (=taking the risk of getting pregnant).
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Well for whatever it’s worth, I think you make a valid and reasonable point, and I’ve got your back on this one. 😉

Speaking the truth about the risks and sacrifices of reproduction (pregnancy and birth) in no way devalues it. And yes, I’m very much pro-life.
 
How that works out for the man…Hmm.

My wife is the primary wage earner in our marriage. I work part time, she is full time and sometimes, overtime. She is Choir director at our church (volunteer at this time) and care taker for her mother.

When I married her four years ago (we just celebrated our anniversary, congratulate us) I sold my house and moved in with her. I do the laundry (usually all of it), the dishes, the house repairs, take care of her music ( a library of which need to be seen to be believed), and do the shopping for us and my mother-in-law. I also do chores for my mother-in-law because I am around and my wife is not. The mother-in-law part was inherent and understood by both of us when I asked her to marry me and she said yes.

This is sometimes a chore as competing priorities can run together, but I do it willingly because I love her and her mother.

And yes, as much as I like sex, there are times when my wife gets romantic and I go to sleep from exhaustion.
😀:cry:
Patrick
AMDG
 
There are more consequences of sex for women than there are for men. Pregnancy also comes with a host of health risks not to mention an extremely painful labor.

Acknowledging this does not mean devaluing pregnancy and children.

It just means women bear the brunt of the consequences of sex.
 
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That is of course true but it is both God’s design for us as women and an inevitability part of marriage.
 
A healthy marriage should be built first and foremost with Christ at the center and reproduction as a base to spread the sacrificial love of Christ. Pregnancy is not a side-effect of sex, that would be to say babies created in God’s image are side-effects. Actually quite disrespectful to God to think that way.

I suggest reading up on Theology of the Body
 
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If you are responding to me, I have never even mentioned the words side effect. I mentioned the word consequence.

Two very different words.
 
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I think bringing Ephesians 5:22 into a discussion on the marriage debt is completely inappropriate. The Church teachings certainly include the marriage debt. The Church does not use that passage as part of it’s argument for that teaching.

Could lead to huge misunderstanding of the Church’s teaching with regards the debt
 
As long as the connotation can include good aspects of the word consequences. Pregnancy may be all of the things pointed out but it is first and foremost a privilege and an honor.
 
I am responding more generally to multiple different comments on this thread. Seems like quite a few people think pregnancy is like a “ah darn it, sex is ruined now” which is such an unhealthy view of sex.
 
blackforest said:
It also means that it wouldn’t kill him to fold and put away a load of laundry . . .
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No, perhaps not (but why risk it? 😜:roll_eyes:🤣).

However, I don’t think that my wife would kill me for touching her machines, but I am very strictly barred from them. I’m allowed to install, and to repair, but not to, well, use them . . .

Oh, and I’m “allowed” to pay for them, too

hawk, who keeps buying her high end machines that she’s afraid of him messing up
 
Loving a wife sacrifically and loving her as Christ loves His bride the Church means a husband can not demand sex whenever he pleases. That would not be sacrificial and would be the negation of Christ’s love for his bride the Church. And this marriage feast of Christ is exactly the same sacrificial love married couples are called to. To demand sex would be to view your spouse not as a daughter of Christ but as an object for gradification which is the trick the pornographic culture has spread. It’s very sad. Theology of the Body is a beautiful thing, everyone should read about it.

I say this all humbly as a 20YO with no experience of sex so feel free to correct me
 
I agree, I have explained the marital debt in this thread in a way that is inline with Church teaching early on in this thread. I consider it a very important Church teaching. I never used the word obey once in the explanatiin.
I have also, on other threads explained my thinking about Ephisians 5:22. I will not do so on this thread because I do not want to confuse the two topics and have anyone think I believe that Bible verse has bearing on the marital debt.

Sex is never about obeying. I too am rather appalled people put a like on that post.
 
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the marital duty is more about getting married without the intention to ever have sex, not some kind of rule that husbands can pull out of their pocket to use whenever they want to have sex with their wife.

also the duty to provide for your family is a traditional rule too. would be funny if there were more threads about that and more wives throwing that rule out against their husbands to get a better job and to stop spending their money foolishly.

bokbok
 
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