Marital intimacy question

[Crown_of_Stars]

If a husband and wife are staying as guests in someone else’s home for a few week’s time, would it be indecent of them, even though they are married, to be intimate at night in their guest bed, when everyone else in the house is asleep? Should a married couple only be intimate if they are in their own home, in their own bed? I know exceptions can be made in certain cases (maybe if they’re staying in a hotel), but to be guests in someone else’s home (family or friend), to me it would feel strange. I’m asking this for the benefit of someone. Thank you for any thoughts on such a delicate topic.

 

[1ke]

Why do you believe that this would be “indecent”?

 

[Ms_Manners]

Just don’t wake up the house.
I don’t think it’s indecent, but to me it seems more appropriate to keep it on the quiet side.

 

[fpt]

If a husband and wife are staying as guests in someone else’s home for a few week’s time, would it be indecent of them, even though they are married, to be intimate at night in their guest bed, when everyone else in the house is asleep? Should a married couple only be intimate if they are in their own home, in their own bed? I know exceptions can be made in certain cases (maybe if they’re staying in a hotel), but to be guests in someone else’s home (family or friend), to me it would feel strange. I’m asking this for the benefit of someone. Thank you for any thoughts on such a delicate topic.

What would be the moral problematic? In Catholicism, in this case, there is no moral issue. By definition, if friends invite a couple and offer him a bedroom, those friends know that this couple can making one flesh in the human fashion, with sexual cooperation. ***It is a truism, it is so logic and it is the deep liberty of this couple. ***Otherwise, those friends that invite are not respectful of the marriage of their friends. The exceptions for not practicing the marital act can exist, but they have to stay exceptions. The principle stays the principle.

Places of marital act. Where can a couple make love, morally speaking?

In the conjugal bed at home: Yes
In the conjugal bedroom at home: Yes
In the bathtub (bath): Yes
in the Shower: Yes
Under the shower: Yes
In the conjugal house: at home everywhere if the intimacy is respected: no children, no people in the house, of course, and no offense possible for third party: Yes (the notion of imprudence does not have to be very strict: not like during victorian time or during the puritan time, …etc). No prudish view.
In the Bedroom of hostel: Yes
In the Bedroom of motel: Yes
In a lost Island, on the beach of this lost Island, in the forest of this lost Island, everywhere of this island: Yes
In a bedroom of friends for couple during vacations, during week-end: Yes
In a bedroom of your parents in law (for instance in your wife’s bedroom before your wedding): Yes
In a Bedroom of your parents (for instance in your own bedroom before your wedding): Yes
Under the private tent for couple, in the Camping: Yes
Inside: Yes
Outside, everywhere if the intimacy is respected: no children, no people around, of course, and no offense possible for third party: Yes
Indoor: Yes
Outdoor, everywhere if the intimacy is respected: no children, no people around, of course, and no offense possible for third party: Yes (the notion of imprudence does not have to be very strict: not like during victorian time or during the puritan time, …etc). No prudish view.
In the private car: Yes if the intimacy is respected: no children, no people around, of course, and no offense possible for third party: Yes (the notion of imprudence does not have to be very strict: not like during victorian time or during the puritan time, …etc). No prudish view.

The principle is everywhere with no children, no people around and thus with no offense or scandal possible for third party. In an official sacred place, a catholic couple cannot and does not have to make one flesh, morally speaking. “See the classical theology”. The issue is the definition of the official sacred place!!! Many debates!!!

 

[fpt]

If a husband and wife are staying as guests in someone else’s home for a few week’s time, would it be indecent of them, even though they are married, to be intimate at night in their guest bed, when everyone else in the house is asleep? Should a married couple only be intimate if they are in their own home, in their own bed? I know exceptions can be made in certain cases (maybe if they’re staying in a hotel), but to be guests in someone else’s home (family or friend), to me it would feel strange. I’m asking this for the benefit of someone. Thank you for any thoughts on such a delicate topic.

With your own words, you seem to reverse the things. The principle is the exception, and the exception is the principle. Indeed by these following sentences ----* " Should a married couple only be intimate if they are in their own home, in their own bed? I know exceptions can be made in certain cases (maybe if they’re staying in a hotel), but to be guests in someone else’s home (family or friend), to me it would feel strange "* ----, you seem to explain that the principle is in their own *home, while the principle is everywhere, at least that a possible offence toward the other be possible, realistically speaking, not in the puritan or victorian way and other heresies. *

 

[CatholicSheila]

If I invited a married couple into my home and gave them a room and a bed I don’t care what they do in it so long as they don’t wake me up. I certainly wouldn’t expect them to refrain from relations.

I probably wouldn’t even think about it either way. If I did I’d figure it’s none of my business and I don’t want to know.

 

[pensmama87]

I agree with previous posters who say that there’s nothing wrong with it, and wish to add one piece of practical advice: strip the bed yourself at the end of your stay so the sheets can be washed. Your host will appreciate it, and won’t have to be confronted with any evidence that is left behind.

 

[MJJean]

If I invited a married couple into my home and gave them a room and a bed I don’t care what they do in it so long as they don’t wake me up. I certainly wouldn’t expect them to refrain from relations.

I probably wouldn’t even think about it either way. If I did I’d figure it’s none of my business and I don’t want to know.

It never crossed my mind that a married couple staying at family/friends home wouldn’t be intimate. I have married friends coming to stay for 5 days this week. As long as they don’t wake the kids I don’t want to think about it and I don’t want to know about it.

I agree with previous posters who say that there’s nothing wrong with it, and wish to add one piece of practical advice: strip the bed yourself at the end of your stay so the sheets can be washed. Your host will appreciate it, and won’t have to be confronted with any evidence that is left behind.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Keep it respectful. Don’t broadcast it. By why would it be indecent? It is a holy action.

 

[Crown_of_Stars]

Thanks for your thoughts. Your replies have justified that this would not be “indecent.” What I meant was, it seemed as though it might be, how they say it, “kinky”, because I myself would feel strange and uncomfortable being intimate even with my own husband in another bed. But that’s just my own feeling on it. Then again, I can’t say I would know how I would feel at the time, in a situation where we would have to be in another bed. What I was originally meaning, I suppose, was that a hotel room bed doesn’t seem as personal as a bed of a family member or a friend. I still think it would feel a little odd to me, but that’s just me. I realize there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just what each person/ couple would be comfortable with, I guess.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Thanks for your thoughts. Your replies have justified that this would not be “indecent.” What I meant was, it seemed as though it might be, how they say it, “kinky”, because I myself would feel strange and uncomfortable being intimate even with my own husband in another bed. But that’s just my own feeling on it. Then again, I can’t say I would know how I would feel at the time, in a situation where we would have to be in another bed. What I was originally meaning, I suppose, was that a hotel room bed doesn’t seem as personal as a bed of a family member or a friend. I still think it would feel a little odd to me, but that’s just me. I realize there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just what each person/ couple would be comfortable with, I guess.

hmmm. I don’t understand that thought process. Happily, my intimacy is not limited to my physical bed with my wife. I don’t think I would like that at all. And I think if one has a healthy and Holy understanding of what sex is that they would arrive at the same conclusion.

 

[MJJean]

I don’t think making love in another persons bed is kinky at all unless doing it is part of some kind of fetish. A bed is just a piece of furniture. You don’t feel odd when you sit on someone else’s couch, do you?

 

[His_helpmeet]

You might think about using a towel (preferably a dark one) on the bed to protect the sheets. DH and I have had the marital embrace in numerous different places, all without creating any issues or being observed that I know of.

 

[StSentry83]

hmmm. I don’t understand that thought process. Happily, my intimacy is not limited to my physical bed with my wife. I don’t think I would like that at all. And I think if one has a healthy and Holy understanding of what sex is that they would arrive at the same conclusion.

Would a healthy and Holy understanding of what sex is preclude one from having sex on the kitchen floor (one’s own kitchen, not that of another) or, say, in the shower?

I only ask because it’s not so often one gets to ask questions of someone with a healthy and Holy understanding of what sex is.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Would a healthy and Holy understanding of what sex is preclude one from having sex on the kitchen floor (one’s own kitchen, not that of another) or, say, in the shower?

I only ask because it’s not so often one gets to ask questions of someone with a healthy and Holy understanding of what sex is.

Well we don’t want to get too personal here. But no, it would not preclude that or any other situation you want to throw at it. We have been intimate and Holy while doing it in many a location.