Marital Issues

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ktnichols84

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Ive been married for almost 5 years & Im a bit lost lately as to a bad pattern my Husband & I have fallen in. We have a 19 month old son that is absolutely amazing & a blessing. After our son was born my husband felt neglected & I understand his feelings & it seemed warranted but his actions said other wise. He is very verbally abusive & has alot of issue with the concept of control, power, money etc. I have had the great blessing of being able to work at home & take care of our son. Due to the Lord my company has done quite well lately & it seems to have added more strain to our marriage. My husband constantly says things like, “why do you need me, you can do it all”. Lately his verbal abuse has reached a new high with sayings like, “If I were any other man I would ring your *** **** neck”. He justifies this by saying I was standing in front of him (I was standing by our 19 mth old son across the kitchen counter) & due to my actions it made him say those things. He cusses & says these ugly things in front of our son, it really bothers me. My Mother & Father were Catholic Marriage counselors back in the 90’s and they often try to give advice, they have even confronted him about it. He hates me telling them, and I wish I wouldnt but he mocks me when I say can we pray or when I use God in anyway when we are arguing. He says, “you think you are so much better then me, dont you” “stop using God”. At my request to speak to a Father, “I dont need a Father, you need a shrink”.

Im starting to become numb to his words & it does not effect me as it once did. I no longer cry & feel that horrible hurt feeling. I just brush it off, ignore him & keep going about my life. Lately when we argue Im so fed up that I use my sarcasm & ability to speak to ward him off, but it irritates him more. I feel like I have to use something or Ill go crazy.

I love him dearly, we have known each other since we were kids, he is an amazing person but gets heated quickly & says rash things in the heat of the moment.

Advice is much needed & prayers please. We can go weeks with out speaking & its not healthy for us, our marriage & our beautiful boy.
 
St. Benedict pray for us
Saint Michael protect us
St. Uriel protect us
St. Gabriel protect us
St. Raphael protect us

Our Father,
Who art in heaven,
hallowed be Thy name;
Thy kingdom come;
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

St. Michael the archangel, defend us in battle,
be our protection against the snares and
wickedness of the devil. May God rebuke him,
we humbly pray, o prince of heavenly host, by
the power of God, cast into hell Satan and all
the evil spirits who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

Hail Mary full of Grace the Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the
Fruit of thy womb Jesus.
Holy Mary mother of God pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death amen.

Please seek the help of a priest, even if only you go.
 
If he is threatening to wring your neck, (strangle you!) then you need to leave him NOW, and take your son away from a man who thinks it’s ok to verbally abuse and threaten his wife and the mother of his child.
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

For Help in Trials

Most holy apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the name of the traitor who delivered your beloved Master into the hands of His enemies has caused you to be forgotten by many. But the Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of hopeless cases–of things despaired of. Pray for me who feels so hopeless. Make use, I implore you, of that particular privilege accorded to you of bringing visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need, that I may receive the consolations and succor of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, in particular ktnichols84 and her husband, and that I may bless God with you and all the elect throughout eternity. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, and I will never cease to honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to do all in my power to encourage devotion to you. Amen.
 
St. Michael the Archangel defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and
snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we
humbly pray, and do thou O Prince of the
heavenly hosts, by the Power of God cast
into hell satan and all the evil spirits who
prowl throughout the world, seeking the
ruin of souls.
Amen

Our Father Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is
in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and
forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who
trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen

Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women, and Blessed is the
fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our deaths.
Amen

Pray for us O Holy Mother of God, that we may be made
worthy of the promises of Christ.
 
Catholic 1954,
You are over reacting. You absolutely should not recommend to anyone based on such limited information to leave anyone. That is absolutely wrong and absurd.

As far as the young married couple,take heart. Marriage is a long and sometimes difficult road. But, love him. He sounds stressed. Be merciful. I don’t know all the details of your circumstance, but speaking from experience, be patient and try to be understanding. If possible, try to help him and maybe you get out of this rut.

God Bless
 
St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen.
 
Thank you all for your prayers it is very much appreciated! Thankfully I have such amazing parents that continue to guide me in my marriage. I have sought out our priest many times but to no avail. things havent changed.

Prayers are welcomed! I know Satan tempts us in the smallest ways possible but with God we can over come anything.
 
ktnichols84 said:
Ive been married for almost 5 years & Im a bit lost lately as to a bad pattern my Husband & I have fallen in. We have a 19 month old son that is absolutely amazing & a blessing. After our son was born my husband felt neglected & I understand his feelings & it seemed warranted but his actions said other wise. He is very verbally abusive & has alot of issue with the concept of control, power, money etc. I have had the great blessing of being able to work at home & take care of our son. Due to the Lord my company has done quite well lately & it seems to have added more strain to our marriage. My husband constantly says things like, “why do you need me, you can do it all”. Lately his verbal abuse has reached a new high with sayings like, “If I were any other man I would ring your *** **** neck”. He justifies this by saying I was standing in front of him (I was standing by our 19 mth old son across the kitchen counter) & due to my actions it made him say those things. He cusses & says these ugly things in front of our son, it really bothers me. My Mother & Father were Catholic Marriage counselors back in the 90’s and they often try to give advice, they have even confronted him about it. He hates me telling them, and I wish I wouldnt but he mocks me when I say can we pray or when I use God in anyway when we are arguing. He says, “you think you are so much better then me, dont you” “stop using God”. At my request to speak to a Father, “I dont need a Father, you need a shrink”.

Im starting to become numb to his words & it does not effect me as it once did. I no longer cry & feel that horrible hurt feeling. I just brush it off, ignore him & keep going about my life. Lately when we argue Im so fed up that I use my sarcasm & ability to speak to ward him off, but it irritates him more. I feel like I have to use something or Ill go crazy.

I love him dearly, we have known each other since we were kids, he is an amazing person but gets heated quickly & says rash things in the heat of the moment.

Advice is much needed & prayers please. We can go weeks with out speaking & its not healthy for us, our marriage & our beautiful boy.
Click to expand...
Wow! That’s really hurtful and abusive!
😦

I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of that!

:hug1:

I’m sorry your marriage has been so hard.

Really, in order for this to work, the first thing that would need to happen would be that the verbal abuse would need to STOP.

Well, if he is not willing to go to a secular marriage counselor, either, your options are a bit limited.

I was actually married, twice, myself, and have been through quite a bit, myself.

One thing I did in my second marriage was that when he didn’t want to go to marriage counseling, I began going by myself, and I think that was a VERY good thing.

I was suffering from depression, and eventually, I got on medications for depression to take the “edge” off.

You may well also be depressed due to the circumstances, as well, but this is NOT to condone your husband’s behavior. It is clearly abusive and wrong.

I went to a marriage counselor in my first marriage, and he advised that we say to eachother 5 positive things for each negative/criticism/complaint. He added that often, when having problems, we can have a kind of tunnel vision, only see the negative, not the positive.

Sounds like your husband is having that problem, now, but until he is willing to realize that if you are having marital problems, you are BOTH having them, I am not sure what else can really be done.

He’d need to come to a realization, first, that you are having marital problems and be willing to change, as well, not only expect you to do all the work in the relationship.

Anyway, I would encourage you to seek individual counseling so you at least have some kind of emotional support in the meantime and have an opportunity to vent, and talk about the issues, with some neutral person who is bound to keep all that confidential.
 
Lord our Father we ask that ktnichols84 is graced with Your Word to endure through these difficult times and continues to seek You for Help. We pray that the verbal and mental abuse she endures from her husband will cease. Please hear our prayers on her behalf so that she can focus on continuing her exceptional parental duties to her child.
My You also shed some peace in the heart of her husband whose anger is being mis-directed on his wife.
We humbly ask that You intercede directly on her behalf so she may feel comfort and safety within her family.
AMEN
 
Gracious and merciful Father, please come to their assistance.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end.
Amen.
 
You say you love him dearly but it doesn’t sound like he still loves you, or he is taking out his frustration with himself by abusing you. He is giving bad example to your child.

I would urge you to see a counselor as another poster suggested.
 
If you truly want advice, I would post in the Family section of the Catholic Living forum, as we can only pray for you here…God bless you! I’ll be praying!

Prayer to St. Rita, Patron Saint of Troubled Marriages

Holy Patroness of those in need, Saint Rita, you were humble, pure and patient. Your pleadings with your divine Spouse are irresistible, so please obtain for me from our risen Jesus the request I make of you: please help knichols84 discern Your will for her marital life… Be kind to me for the greater glory of God, and I shall honor you and sing your praises forever. Glorious Saint Rita, you miraculously participated in the sorrowful passion of our Lord Jesus Christ. Obtain for me now the grace to suffer with resignation the troubles of this life, and protect me in all my needs. Amen.
 
Our Father,
Who art in heaven,
hallowed be Thy name;
Thy kingdom come;
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

St. Michael the archangel, defend us in battle,
be our protection against the snares and
wickedness of the devil. May God rebuke him,
we humbly pray, o prince of heavenly host, by
the power of God, cast into hell Satan and all
the evil spirits who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
 
St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen.
 
God loves you, dear one. 🙂

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done on earth
as it is in heaven.
Give us this day
our daily bread, and
forgive us our trespasses as we
forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation, but
deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women, and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God,
pray for us sinners, now and at
the hour of our death. Amen.

Glory be to the Father, and
to the Son, and
to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning,
is now, and
ever shall be,
world without end. Amen.

Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle,
be our protection against the
wickedness and snares
of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou, O prince of the heavenly host,
by the power of God,
cast into hell Satan and
all the other evil spirits
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
 
St. Benedict pray for us
St. Jude pray for us

Our Father,
Who art in heaven,
hallowed be Thy name;
Thy kingdom come;
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

St. Michael the archangel, defend us in battle,
be our protection against the snares and
wickedness of the devil. May God rebuke him,
we humbly pray, o prince of heavenly host, by
the power of God, cast into hell Satan and all
the evil spirits who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

Hail Mary full of Grace the Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the
Fruit of thy womb Jesus.
Holy Mary mother of God pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death amen.
 
Our Father,
Who art in heaven,
hallowed be Thy name;
Thy kingdom come;
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

St. Michael the archangel, defend us in battle,
be our protection against the snares and
wickedness of the devil. May God rebuke him,
we humbly pray, o prince of heavenly host, by
the power of God, cast into hell Satan and all
the evil spirits who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

Hail Mary full of Grace the Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the
Fruit of thy womb Jesus.
Holy Mary mother of God pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death amen.

St. Benedict pray for us
 
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