Marital Relations Before Mass

[St_John]

Hi Pug,
I think the real reason is probably that lack of sex makes men more aggressive and fit for battle. I read somewhere that Mohammed Ali went a year without sex to prepare for a big fight. I’m serious here, many Biblical edicts had a practical reason behind them.

 

[Orionthehunter]

Whoever wrote that was almost certainly single and childless for starters.

Relations with the spouse God has provided for you in order for you to co-participate with Him in the process of creation is nothing wrong or shameful, or incompatible with holiness or proper preparation to receive the Eucharist. If it were so we would be instructed to refrain from it as we are from food and drink.

The Church celebrates marriage as the creation of its own unique church and institution within the Church. There is nothing seemly with two love birds participating in the conjugal act on a Sunday morning. In fact it is its own prayer and can properly better prepare two people for the celebration of the Eucharist. Marriage is a sacrament and the conjugal act is itself a sacramental.

And practically, anyone who has had small kids and were exhausted every evening, weekend mornings are often the only times that husband and wife had the energy. In all liklihood, my last two children were probably concieved on a weekend morning.

According to the CCC 2362 “The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude.” Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure:

The Creator himself . . . established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.(Pius XII)

 

[LilyM]

Don’t you see the obvious flaw in your reasoning? Food and drink are not wrong or shameful or incompatible with holiness. Abstaining from them is partially about having a clean place to receive Christ, but considering that - ESPECIALLY with the one-hour “fast” that is today’s norm - we don’t come at all close to really emptying out our stomachs before reception the practice is much more about discipline. Overlooking the fact that despite its positive qualities sex can be an occasion to impurity even for the married, the real heart of the matter is using self-restraint, self-discipline, and self-denial to prepare interiorly to receive the Blessed Sacrament. Indulging in marital relations can be incompatible with this ideal.

Yes, sex can be sinful or tending to the sin of lust, even within marriage. And naturally we should refrain from all sin at all times, but be especially conscious of it when contemplating receiving the Eucharist.

For the most part, however, within mariage it is a wonderful, life-affirming, sacrament-of-marrige-reaffirming act, and certainly on the whole is fine even before Mass.

 

[G_S]

Which brings up something I’ve wondered about: How about married deacons in the Latin rite? Are they required to - or suggested to - abstain from relations when they are to be on the altar – at least as a pious practice?

We are not required to so abstain. I fast from midnight for a morning or midday Mass even though that is not required. I find it much less distracting to prayer and concentration if my body is not in the process of digesting food. For similar reasons, we abstain from relations before I am going to serve at Mass. If for some reason we failed to do so, however, it certainly wouldn’t be sinful.

 

[St_John]

From this webpage which I will provide a link for.

This holy time, at least 25 hours in length (some people extend the Sabbath longer), requires important physical, spiritual, and emotional preparation. The home is cleaned and people take particular care to wash and dress for the occasion and to prepare their spirit for the Sabbath. Special foods are prepared, friends are invited (the Sabbath is thought to be better if those who have nowhere else to go are welcomed), generosity and love are the root of all interactions. Emphasis is placed upon relations: with one another, family, friends, and God. Through joining together, singing, praying, eating together, and rejoicing in their relationships (sex between a married couple on Friday nights is considered a mitzvah, a good deed!), Jews who observe the Sabbath insist on creating and living in a special time that connects them to their identity as a covenant people.

sojo.net/index.cfm?action=magazine.article&issue=soj0505&article=050511

I like this article and this attitude towards the Sabbath.

 

[chicago]

I leave it to you to decide where sex just before Mass fits into this mindset.

The preparing leisurely part?

 

[Cranch]

The preparing leisurely part?

If I didn’t think you were trying to be funny, chicago, I might think you were advocating sex in church; since that is where “the preparing leisurely part” takes place in the excerpt I posted.
…and repair early to the church, to prepare leisurely for the happy moment.

 

[ElizabethAnne]

There is no rule regarding marital relations just before going to mass as there is for fasting for example, true?

What if a married person, like myself, attends daily Mass? To those who support abstinance before Mass, would my husband and I need to abstain permanently?

 

[wynd]

What if a married person, like myself, attends daily Mass? To those who support abstinance before Mass, would my husband and I need to abstain permanently?

I believe the fast is from the Eucharist. If you practiced this discipline, you could simply refrain from receiving Communion when necessary.

 

[ElizabethAnne]

I believe the fast is from the Eucharist. If you practiced this discipline, you could simply refrain from receiving Communion when necessary.

That seems very strange to me. I desire to receive Jesus every day. It would be weird to have my husband tell me of his desire for intimacy and know that sexual relations would mean I could not receive Jesus. I would feel torn between my love for my husband and my love for Jesus. I could be wrong but that doesn’t sound like something God would desire.

I’m just not sure why anyone would want to practice this discipline. Could someone kindly explain it? Thank you.

 

[Unfinished]

This whole thread seems rather silly to me.

The Church does not say that married couples must obstain from sexual relations before recieving the Eucharist.

If you, as a couple, decide to go on a “sexual fast” before Mass, that is your own business, and it is good and holy.

If another couple decides not to, they are just as holy. Marital relations is not a bad thing.

 

[Mattapoisett64]

Yes, sex can be sinful or tending to the sin of lust, even within marriage. And naturally we should refrain from all sin at all times, but be especially conscious of it when contemplating receiving the Eucharist.

For the most part, however, within mariage it is a wonderful, life-affirming, sacrament-of-marrige-reaffirming act, and certainly on the whole is fine even before Mass.

What gives me pause, though, is that the Catechism calls us to a “chaste” marriage, “self mastery,” and “just moderation” in marital intimacy. A physical encounter, even within marriage, contains the potential for physical passion to overcome the self-mastery we’re called to, and with an overly passionate act, wrong touch, immodest glance, or losing oneself in carnal pleasure and forgetting God, violate the norms of chastity and lead to sin before Mass and the intention to receive the Eucharist.

The old pious practice, of abstaining from relations on Fridays in honor of the Passion, on Saturdays in honor of Christ’s stay in the tomb, and on Sundays in honor of the Resurrection (and in contemplation of Mass), may have a lot to recommend it. I frankly admire what was cited from the Jewish tradition as Sabbath marital relations being a mitzvah (a good deed.) Except our spirituality - as it was taught to me back in the day - has long held a different view of the body, and controlling physical passions has seemingly held a higher place within our tradition.

 

[Pug]

Hi Pug,
I think the real reason is probably that lack of sex makes men more aggressive and fit for battle. I read somewhere that Mohammed Ali went a year without sex to prepare for a big fight. I’m serious here, many Biblical edicts had a practical reason behind them.

It could indeed be the case that there is some folk wisdom to be found in the biblical ideas of clean and unclean. However, I suspect that the reason David’s army complied with the rules was in fact to keep everything clean or holy enough so that they’d win their wars and not all die. The ideas of holy or clean seemed to be viewed as dangerous or threatening enough to be taken quite seriously back then, although these days that is hard to grasp.

 

[Andreas_Hofer]

Marital relations is not a bad thing.

It’s amazing what people pull out of sentences. Not a single person entertaining the merit of abstinence from marital relations has ever implied it was a bad thing. There just happens to be enough of a traditional precedent and common-sense parallels to other practices to make it a viable option.

Meat is not a bad thing, yet we abstain from it on Fridays.
Food is not a bad thing, yet we fast for one hour before receiving communion.
Water is not a bad thing, but until Pius XII even this was out during the communion fast.
The word “Alleluia” is not bad, yet we don’t use it in the liturgy during Lent.
The Gloria is not bad, but we don’t use that during Lent or Advent.
Hopefully that establishes enough of a trend to debunk this odd “We only abstain from bad things” myth.

 

[chicago]

If I didn’t think you were trying to be funny, chicago, I might think you were advocating sex in church; since that is where “the preparing leisurely part” takes place in the excerpt I posted.
…and repair early to the church, to prepare leisurely for the happy moment.

Isn’t that what the broom closet at Church is for? Or the pillars one can conveniently hide behind? When the Spirit moves you…

 

[JKirkLVNV]

Isn’t that what the broom closet at Church is for? Or the pillars one can conveniently hide behind? When the Spirit moves you…

I was going to say,“I think they would frown on relations in the church parking lot just before Mass, but other than that…,” but you beat me to it.

 

[Unfinished]

It’s amazing what people pull out of sentences. Not a single person entertaining the merit of abstinence from marital relations has ever implied it was a bad thing. There just happens to be enough of a traditional precedent and common-sense parallels to other practices to make it a viable option.

Meat is not a bad thing, yet we abstain from it on Fridays.
Food is not a bad thing, yet we fast for one hour before receiving communion.
Water is not a bad thing, but until Pius XII even this was out during the communion fast.
The word “Alleluia” is not bad, yet we don’t use it in the liturgy during Lent.
The Gloria is not bad, but we don’t use that during Lent or Advent.
Hopefully that establishes enough of a trend to debunk this odd “We only abstain from bad things” myth.

You’re right - it is amazing. Please quote the rest of what I said.

If you, as a couple, decide to go on a “sexual fast” before Mass, that is your own business, and it is good and holy.

If another couple decides not to, they are just as holy.

The OP asked if there was a rule. The simple answer is “no.”

 

[chicago]

I was going to say,“I think they would frown on relations in the church parking lot just before Mass, but other than that…,” but you beat me to it.

Sr. Mary Key P.N.U. Enline knocks on the window with her rosary and scolds, “Hey, you kids, what’re ya doing back there?”

 

[G_S]

In our house we also never turn on the television or radio before Mass or read the paper, etc. It just seems sensible to refrain from any activity that might lead to distraction during the Mass. It’s not sinful to watch the news before Mass but is filling one’s head with all the latest on sectarian violence in Iraq good for recollection?

 

[Pug]

In our house we also never turn on the television or radio before Mass or read the paper, etc. It just seems sensible to refrain from any activity that might lead to distraction during the Mass. It’s not sinful to watch the news before Mass but is filling one’s head with all the latest on sectarian violence in Iraq good for recollection?

I agree with you that doing certain activities before mass leads to a muddled head. I’ve found that if I need a nap before mass, then I need to schedule enough time between waking up and actually going. Otherwise, I am in a fog. It seems to take time to transition between the world and the sacred, at least for the habitually unrecollected, like myself.

Though for some people, the marital relations will be a sacred moment anyway, so perhaps little transition is required.