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johndale
Guest
Is a man allowed to masturbate in order to be able to perform the sex act???
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pumpkinbeast
Guest
I’m not a man, but my guess is most guys don’t need to masturbate to have sex with their wives. If they do, perhaps they should look into viagra or something. Sounds like they would have a legitimate use there. Masturbation is always, always wrong.
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ThuribleGuy45
Guest
I would think that masturbation as usually understood would, if taken to completion, either be in place of the sex act or render the man unable to “perform” the act for a time. Is your question really whether the man can stimulate himself just enough to be able to achieve intercourse with his wife?
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jrnami
Guest
First post here?
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steve_green_2
Guest
As long as it is intended to perform the sexual act it is perfectly fine.
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xmydreamsfadex
Guest
on the same note:
can a wife masturbate her spouse? say as if she is into that sort of thing…
can a wife masturbate her spouse? say as if she is into that sort of thing…
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steve_green_2
Guest
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Mirror_Mirror
Guest
Both are okay within the marital embrace as long as the act ends in the husband ejaculating inside his wife’s vagina.
If either party were to masturbate to climax outside of the marital embrace it would be a mortal sin.
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chevalier
Guest
It seems to be okay for spouses to masturbate each other within the context of the marital act, preserving the unitive and procreative purpose of it, respecting each other’s dignity. By “okay” I mean “not necessarily/not normally sinful”.
However, there is always the problem whether masturbation is normal or healthy. I believe that any kind of autoerotic behaviour is wrong no matter the context and that it always focuses on the masturbator’s desires - in so far as the masturbatory activity is performed by self on self.
Let’s look at masturbation by spouse: while an argument from natural law could be construed against such a use of genital organs (the propriety and naturality of it), at least the arousal is derived from the spouse’s action.
But let’s now take a look at masturbation “within the context of the act” but by oneself. The material agent is the own hand or whatever such object. So then what is the stimulus? In short, what is the person thinking about? Our sexual pleasures are supposed to be coming from a procreative and unitive act with the spouse. Modern theologians say it’s okay for the wife to masturbate herself within some level of connection with the act, if the spouse doesn’t satisfy her. Some probably even omit the latter condition and say it’s simply fine for the wife to masturbate herself so long as there is the marital act. But is such masturbation really within the act or does it exist beside - and besides the act? How can an autoerotic activity be self-donative or unitive? Let alone any link to procreation? Additionally:
However, there is always the problem whether masturbation is normal or healthy. I believe that any kind of autoerotic behaviour is wrong no matter the context and that it always focuses on the masturbator’s desires - in so far as the masturbatory activity is performed by self on self.
Let’s look at masturbation by spouse: while an argument from natural law could be construed against such a use of genital organs (the propriety and naturality of it), at least the arousal is derived from the spouse’s action.
But let’s now take a look at masturbation “within the context of the act” but by oneself. The material agent is the own hand or whatever such object. So then what is the stimulus? In short, what is the person thinking about? Our sexual pleasures are supposed to be coming from a procreative and unitive act with the spouse. Modern theologians say it’s okay for the wife to masturbate herself within some level of connection with the act, if the spouse doesn’t satisfy her. Some probably even omit the latter condition and say it’s simply fine for the wife to masturbate herself so long as there is the marital act. But is such masturbation really within the act or does it exist beside - and besides the act? How can an autoerotic activity be self-donative or unitive? Let alone any link to procreation? Additionally:
- Fantasising about other people sexually is not allowed. Fantasising about anyone or anything other than spouse is adultery in heart. “Whoever looks at a woman to lust after her…”
- Fantasising about spouse is not allowed, either. It must be either the actual marital act or nothing.
- In case of masturbation by self, the link with the marital act is proximity of vaginal intercourse with ejaculation as well as a certain degree of sexual stimulation by spouse. However, the climax received thereby is a direct result of stimulation with one’s own hand or object. That is still an activity which in no way technically requires the presence of the other spouse - and indeed I think some theologians would even say the husband may well be sleeping already at that point. I may be wrong on some other premises and missing some points, but the beginning and the end of it seems to be the acquisition of own climax.
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setter
Guest
I would question the need for either spouse to self-stimulate for the sake of sexual arousal during foreplay …but, if taken in the context of love making, then okay.
Note: Self-stimulation versus self-pleasure, i.e., masturbation.
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thomasf
Guest
Here’s a fresh look at the question. What if the man doesn’t last very long, or even has premature ejaculations? I’ve often heard sex therapists recommending masturbation before intercourse as the answer to the problem. If a man doesn’t last long enough to bring pleasure for his wife, or for either of them to enjoy it, what is the solution?
And two, what about a woman who can’t orgasm during intercourse? According to many sexual therapists, many women never achieve orgasm during intercourse. Is it okay for her to self stimulate, or for her husband to do so prior to intercourse?
And two, what about a woman who can’t orgasm during intercourse? According to many sexual therapists, many women never achieve orgasm during intercourse. Is it okay for her to self stimulate, or for her husband to do so prior to intercourse?
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setter
Guest
He should see a medical doctor, consult with an orthodox Catholic therapist who specilizes in sexual dysfunction if need be, and for sure fire that therapist who prescribes an intrinsically evil behavior (masturbation) as the “solution”.
Prior, during or post to climax is morally permissible.
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patientone
Guest
Recommended Book:
Good News About Sex and Marriage by Christopher West
Even better; attend one of his seminars. I recently did with my new bride. It was very enriching.
Good News About Sex and Marriage by Christopher West
Even better; attend one of his seminars. I recently did with my new bride. It was very enriching.
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Questionsabound
Guest
Very good questions. Wondered the same myself from time to time.
There’s a lot of strict conditions on how, when and where for the man, and not so many hard and fast rules for the woman.
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xmydreamsfadex
Guest
is this really so wrong? my wife works third shift and often when i go to bed i think about what we could be doing together. i don’t do anything with myself that i would have to go to reconcilliation about but i still think about it.
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StCsDavid
Guest
I suppose that as long as one is in the midst of performing said act with the spouse and the self-stimulation was used as a means to help get one ready for becoming one flesh with the spouse it would be fine. It seems like a reasonable part of foreplay that perhaps one’s wife could participate in, though one would not want to carry the self-stimulation to an untimely conclusion.
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Convert_in_99
Guest
NO. Masturbation is never allowed! :nope:
Um…I don’t know how to say this nicely, but if your wife can’t get you going…maybe you need to see a doctor. Even with older couples, wives can usually manage to get there husbands going. If not, then there is likely a medical problem needing attention.
Um…I don’t know how to say this nicely, but if your wife can’t get you going…maybe you need to see a doctor. Even with older couples, wives can usually manage to get there husbands going. If not, then there is likely a medical problem needing attention.
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Mirror_Mirror
Guest
I would be careful saying that. The reason that I say that is that masturbation by itself is not allowed. However, within the marital act as long as it is not masturbation to ejaculation for the husband, it is allowed. That is the thing that we as Catholics have to realize that there are few limitations within the marital embrace. As long as the act is unitive and procreative we are “allowed” to do a lot of things as foreplay. As long as the husband ejaculates inside his wife’s vagina. Also the acts must not be demeaning or degrading to either party.
Again, maybe not the most “ideal” form of foreplay, but it is not against the Church’s teachings within the marital embrace.
Masturbation by yourself is a sin.
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Convert_in_99
Guest
HUH?
Mutual manual stimulation, which is NOT masturbation, is fine (husband to wife, wife to husband) for foreplay. Oral stimulation is also acceptable for foreplay. Climax can only be reached by the wife during this manual/oral stimulation, not the husband. Husband must climax inside his wife. The wife may also be stimulated to climax directly following the marital act (it is considered still part of this one marital act.) After that, the act is over. No climax is to be reached by either husband or wife until next marital act.
Masturbation is a sin of self. Always. Where is it stated otherwise? I am not contradicting you, just very confused.
Why can’t the wife just stimulate her hubby to get him ready. He is surely allowed to map out what will get him going, but the wife should do the work. (And vice a versa.) If manual stimulation doesn’t work, oral stimulation is allowed. That surely should work, or, again, medical intervention may be needed.
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Mirror_Mirror
Guest
I am not arguing against you either in this situation, but I have been told and through my research have found that “anything is allowed between a husband and wife within the marital embrace as long as it is not demeaning to either party and ends with the husband’s climax inside his wife.” Within that would include masturbation, either masturbating each other or yourself. Now, I am not saying it is the most “ideal” situation to “play with yourself” in the marital act, but if it is part of that act then I believe it is allowed.HUH?
Mutual manual stimulation, which is NOT masturbation, is fine (husband to wife, wife to husband) for foreplay. Oral stimulation is also acceptable for foreplay. Climax can only be reached by the wife during this manual/oral stimulation, not the husband. Husband must climax inside his wife. The wife may also be stimulated to climax directly following the marital act (it is considered still part of this one marital act.) After that, the act is over. No climax is to be reached by either husband or wife until next marital act.
Masturbation is a sin of self. Always. Where is it stated otherwise? I am not contradicting you, just very confused.
Why can’t the wife just stimulate her hubby to get him ready. He is surely allowed to map out what will get him going, but the wife should do the work. (And vice a versa.) If manual stimulation doesn’t work, oral stimulation is allowed. That surely should work, or, again, medical intervention may be needed.
Again, we must look at the context of that act. By that I mean, we all know that after the husband is “finished” (in the proper manner) that he can bring his wife to climax. Now within that act the wife cannot then masturbate herself to climax while the husband watches…calling it within the marital embrace.
I also do not think that they can both lie in bed, masturbating themselves, and then right before the “moment” come together in the marital embrace with the husband inside his wife. Again that comes back to the intent of the act, that act has turned each of them toward themselves and has removed the unitive aspect of the marital embrace as it is not self giving.
Again, I see what you are saying, it would seem just as easy to stimulate each other as opposed to stimulating yourself. What if they couple is engaged in the marital embrace and the wife stimulates herself? Just curious, not trying to be too graphic here.
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