Marraige-divorce-question

[kevin294]

hey… just got a question about marrital seperation!!..i heard that if you seperate from your wife,you must remain from having any sexual relationship with any women including cohabiting. so if you get a divorce…yea!!..you must stay by yourself all your life to remain a good and holy catholic??..i just wonder is that realistic in this world we live in today?? i was thinking maybe it is better not getting married because of the way life can go,and really maybe people just get caught in that mess…satans work!!! because if someone seperates…sometimes they get divorced so leads to people being left on there own, lonely and depressed.plus the gulit and shame of divorce.if anyone can answer this for me it would be really good,because it is playing on my mind recently because it makes no sense !!!

kevin.

 

[PennyinCanada]

Do you feel that single people can be excellent contributors to society? Can they love God and serve their neighbor? Can they be light and salt in the world? Can they remain chaste in this society and honor God by being obedient to his commandments? Of course to all of the above.
The same applies to someone who once was married, regardless if they are divorced, widowed or separated.

As for the ‘rest of your life’, you don’t know the day or hour that the Lord will call. It may be before the dawn of tomorrow.

 

[Ad_Altare_Dei_1]

Well, if you didn’t get married you still wouldn’t be allowed to have sex (fornication!). So you’d be in the same boat, so to speak.

Marriage is for a lifetime unless you get an anulment from the church or your spouse dies. Only then would you be free to marry, and have sex, again. With a divorce, which is a civil vacancy of the union, you are still considered married in the church and so would not be able to have intimate relations again or you’d commit adultery. This is why it is critical for people to be 100% certain they are willing to spend the rest of their lives together, until the death or one or the annulment of the marriage. Is this realistic in the world we live in today? Absolutely!!! My wife and I have been married 23 years and going strong! So are many other Catholic couples we know. Keep in mind, the times always change, but the Truth contained in faith and the teachings of the church and Holy Scripture never changes. We should change to agree with the Truth. The Truth should not be changed to agree with us.

So, in the eyes of the church and according to our faith:
Not getting married = no sex.
Getting married = lifetime commitment and sex.
Divorce = still married and no sex unless with your spouse.

I hope I understood your query properly and that this clarifies things for you.

Grace and peace in our Lord Jesus Christ!

 

[lutherlic]

Marriage is for a lifetime unless you get an anulment from the church or your spouse dies.

No caveat needed here. “Marriage is for a lifetime” period.

If you receive a declaration of nullity, the Church - upon thorough investigation - would have found that the elements necessary for marriage were not present when an attempt was made to enter into it. It does not (and can not) end a valid marriage.

Of course if your spouse dies, the marriage lasted for “a lifetime”.

Small nits, but we should always be clear that there is no such thing as “Catholic divorce.”

 

[puzzleannie]

don’t understand the question

if you are married, and leave your spouse to live with someone else, that is adultery plain and simply.

if your spouse leaves you, you are still married, and no you cannot enter into any type of relationship or have sex with anyone else because you are married.

the fact that you obtained a civil divorce during this time does nothing to change the fact that you are married

if you are single, you cannot have sex with anyone because you are not married to them

that is the teaching of Christ

that is the teaching of the Church.

it may surprise you to know that millions of people now and throughout history have let healthy, happy, loving fulfilled lives without ever engagin in sex, without ever marrying, or having the misfortune to have lost a spouse.

 

[Hboggs]

No caveat needed here. “Marriage is for a lifetime” period.

If you receive a declaration of nullity, the Church - upon thorough investigation - would have found that the elements necessary for marriage were not present when an attempt was made to enter into it. It does not (and can not) end a valid marriage.

Of course if your spouse dies, the marriage lasted for “a lifetime”.

Small nits, but we should always be clear that there is no such thing as “Catholic divorce.”

The whole annulment process of the Church is flawed and nothing can change that. I know of many cases where potential negative decisions are based on “absence of witnesses” and for valid reasons there are NO witnesses alive or known from the TIME of the marriage.

The Church should either say if EVER married, always married and no annulment; or, accept divorce and move on.

 

[manualman]

The Church should either say if EVER married, always married and no annulment; or, accept divorce and move on.

Of course, this begs the question: “What is it that seals a marriage?” It sounds like YOU are making the statement that anybody who dresses up, rents a church and says ‘I do’ is truly and sacramentally married. But is it really that shallow? Isn’t it more likely that the marriage is only truly marriage if both of the couple are mentally / emotionally capable of making the committment, willing to make the committment and eligible for marriage.

I’ll grant you the the nullity process is messy and open to abuse and mistakes, but it sure seems to beat your proposal. Humans are sinful brats, let’s face it. My sister is a great example. She married an immature jerk who I don’t believe for a second ever intended to be open to children. He only showed his cards a few years later (though he still claims he just "changed his mind). It’s not her fault that he’s stuck in his juvenile ‘party forever’ mentality and is closed to children. Arguably she should have discerned better. But the fact is that he never truly consented to what marriage really is, regardless of the pretty dress, nice tux, rented church and big party afterwards.

Jesus said “Let no man separate what God has joined.” That’s not the same as saying “Once the marriage license is signed, it’s final.” It becomes a duty of the Church to figure out if God ever really joined them via rational and principled investigation.

 

[thistle]

don’t understand the question

if you are married, and leave your spouse to live with someone else, that is adultery plain and simply.

if your spouse leaves you, you are still married, and no you cannot enter into any type of relationship or have sex with anyone else because you are married.

the fact that you obtained a civil divorce during this time does nothing to change the fact that you are married

if you are single, you cannot have sex with anyone because you are not married to them

that is the teaching of Christ

that is the teaching of the Church.

it may surprise you to know that millions of people now and throughout history have let healthy, happy, loving fulfilled lives without ever engagin in sex, without ever marrying, or having the misfortune to have lost a spouse.