Marriage after 13 year courtship

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slyon

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Finally doing it!! Exactly 13 years ago and 3 children later, we are going to get married. Feeling uneasy about the whole wedding plans and making it valid in God’s eyes. After 13 years don’t know what is/can be expected. My church is going to marry us and very happy and pleased.
 
Aw, congratulations! 😃 That is wonderful, and having been together so long through so much already, I’m sure it will be so much fun.

Mirdath and I did all our own wedding planning too, so hm…what to expect? Well, for one thing, I’d make sure someone takes care of the kids during and after the service, because once the whole thing is underway, you will be overwhelmed. And you will need at least the night afterwards, not for the romance, but because you will likely both be about to fall on your faces from exhaustion. 😉

Can the two of you get away for a little while afterwards? I definitely recommend it, since you will need some r&r and time to get going with the next Big Project. Not to mention, you both deserve it!
 
Congratulations after your long and winding road.🙂

What do you want to do? How long do you have to plan it? How much is in your budget to do it? What will your parish allow? These are the same question that a couple would ask if they’d been simply going about together for six months to a year.
 
I guess what I feel strange about is how big is appropriate after being together so long. A friend told me that it is my wedding, my only wedding so I should plan as if we got married in a year of our dating. That’s what I totally feel, but I guess I wonder what people will think.:confused:
 
Why, of course it is appropriate, and anyone mean-spirited enough to disagree is not worth your worry, slyon! After 13 years together, and 3 children, you don’t need anyone else’s approval, and those who don’t want to celebrate, hey, more champagne for those who do! I am delighted, and I don’t know anything about you besides these two posts. When, approximately, is the happy day? I will raise a toast to you just on the strength of those posts! 😃

And your friend is right! Totally make a big deal over it! Your family is together because you clearly work together well, and that alone is worth a huge celebration. Yay!
 
Woo hoo!! U just made me feel so good about this. I joined this forum to get some guidance…and I found it. Thank you.👍

I will keep u posted on the date. I kinda wanted it March 14th (my dad’s 20 year anniversary). But it does fall during Lent, so we may have to change it. Our budget is tight, but the internet is great. I have found websites with good ideas on how to cut corners. Oh yeah, definently getting the childcare during the time is a must!! 1 girl…6 and 2 boys…4 and 2!! Talk about a handful!! A blessing I would never give up.😃

Thank you for taking time to answer me.
 
And thank YOU for such happy news, it completely made my morning! 🙂 Early spring is so beautiful, but sure, if there are any issues with Lent and stuff just ask the priest or pastor - it is most definitely their job to help you out here.

And sure, there’s no need to spend overmuch. Just getting everyone together, dressing up nice, signing the license and everyone in the party meeting up at a restaurant or a house for dinner and music, maybe, should be just fine. We didn’t spend much at all, really, and wound up having a pretty spectacular marriage, far more than we thought our small budget would buy. We didn’t need a planner or anything, and yes, used the internet to find all kinds of neat ideas and suppliers. And again, I don’t doubt that the people at your church will help you find what you need!

Hee, we did all that planning and were flipping out, but ready to go…when we realized we’d forgotten to get rings. 😉 So we wound up spending a little more for those, since there was no time to shop around, but it was completely worth it!
 
slyon said:
I guess what I feel strange about is how big is appropriate after being together so long. A friend told me that it is my wedding, my only wedding so I should plan as if we got married in a year of our dating. That’s what I totally feel, but I guess I wonder what people will think.:confused:
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Well yeh! The thing is, how soon would you like to be married, how much money do you have to spend on it, and how does your intended feel about it?

Don’t think you have to slunk off to a dark cavern and be married in a dundgeon…Unless you are into that sort of thing…:rolleyes:

I am sure you can come up with something nice, and yes, celebrate it!!! This is coming from a middle-aged person, so if you’re thinking it’s just young Nepenthe who thinks you should celebrate, think again. If anything, after 13 years, you should celebrate all the more!
 
My bday is March 14th. That is cool. BTW, my DH and I had a fairly large wedding for the times and certain people on this post said we shouldn’t have a big wedding bc his parents weren’t involved. Tough. There were plenty of people who love us and support us who wanted to be there and were. We had a lot of fun. It was beautiful, symbolic, and most importantly sacramental. One of the most fundamental aspects of Catholicism is the communion of saints. Saint in the old definition of the word was any practicing Christian. Why would you not want to commune with any Saints that you could for the only vocational sacrament you will have? It doesn’t make sense. Best of luck and God bless you and your husband. Besides anyone who says your wedding is wrong does not believe in the true promise or ideal of the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

God bless,
 
slyon said:
Woo hoo!! U just made me feel so good about this. I joined this forum to get some guidance…and I found it. Thank you.👍

I will keep u posted on the date. I kinda wanted it March 14th (my dad’s 20 year anniversary). But it does fall during Lent, so we may have to change it. Our budget is tight, but the internet is great. I have found websites with good ideas on how to cut corners. Oh yeah, definently getting the childcare during the time is a must!! 1 girl…6 and 2 boys…4 and 2!! Talk about a handful!! A blessing I would never give up.😃

Thank you for taking time to answer me.
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Well you can get married during Lent. I had a few friends do it because of spring break schuedles. It might actaully work out well for you if you are on a budget. The church doesn’t want lots of decorations so only a few flowers and such.

Good luck and Congrats!
 
I got married during Lent. It did not mean we couldn’t celebrate.

It did mean the church was not elaborately decorated. That was fine with us.
 
Congratulations! Hope you have a lovely wedding and a blessed marriage. I’m sure the people who have loved you these past years will be thrilled to celebrate with you.
 
beckers said:
Well you can get married during Lent. I had a few friends do it because of spring break schuedles. It might actaully work out well for you if you are on a budget. The church doesn’t want lots of decorations so only a few flowers and such.

Good luck and Congrats!
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This depends diocese. We cannot make a general statement on this.

Our diocese does not allow weddings during Lent. Period.

Others do allow it, but have policies regarding the tone, music, flowers, etc.

The bishop determines this for his diocese and in some cases even allows the individual pastors to set policy for their parishes.
 
Congratulations to the OP.

My suggestion is to look up the book Bridal Bargains, and the authors’ website. I got a lot out of that book.
 
For lots of stories about what not to do at and for big weddings, visit here. Don’t let the name throw you off. (I spent 3 whole days on the 'puter, reading and laughing!)

Congratulations!

God bless you,

Ruthie
 
There are lots of old posts here about ways to save money on weddings… look them up… congrats BTW… I got married 3.5 yrs ago and my 3 and his one were our attendants… if kids are old enough they should participate somehow to make it a special FAMILY occassion… seriously. look up the threads… here is one I did… feel free to ask me about it. forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=3945151&highlight=Wedding#post3945151

but this one has a breakdown of costs:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=3691306&highlight=Wedding#post3691306
 
Thank you for all the encouragment and advice. I only get to be online here at work. I do the ‘lovely’ night shift as a labor and delivery nurse.

I feel by me joining this forum has been such a blessing! The push I was looking for…I found here. Okay so looks like we are gonna push this till June 20th. The more I got excited about the details…well I think I will need a bigger budget to work with.

My thought is: I am only doing this once in my lifetime. So I am gonna do it right. And yes, the way I dreamed of since I was a little girl.

Thank you for the great advice and websites. It will all come in handy.

Blessings to everybody in this new year!😃
 
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