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Sheilah921
Guest
I just asked him and he said his first child was just over a year when they got married 
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Catholic1954
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You and your family are ALWAYS welcome in the Catholic Church. Call and make an appointment with a priest at your parish to discuss your marriage situation. The father of your children will most likely have to file for an annulment and the priest will help you get the paperwork started (there will be a lot of it). Be prepared to follow his advice and instructions, even if you don’t want to, let the priest guide you through this, he is in the best position to help you. Keep going to Mass and let the Holy Spirit work in you.Hi everyone, i am new to this site. I am relly confused and need advice please.
My partner was married to a woman and has 3 kids with her. They had a divorce. I met him when i was 19 and I got pregnant. I now have 2 children with him and we are getting married in 4 months ( a civil ceremony). I decided to look up annulment as i was keen to see would this be possible. I seriously didnt realise until now how strict the catholic rules are and that we are classed as living in a lot of sin.
Will the church turn its back on me now? Im really confused and upset, I am only 25 and am bringing my children up catholic. I know ive made mistakes in the past but I have started attending mass again and want to sort my life out.
Now after looking this all up on the internet it seems like we arent welcome in the church anymore and i dont know where this leaves me and my religion
Id be truely grateful of any advice
thanks xxxx
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ebonykawai
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OK, that’s not a shotgun, but it still may be good cause. Don’t worry, the Church will figure it out! Just get the ball rolling and make your appointment with a priest.
I know that there seem like a lot of rules, but nothing worth anything is ever easy. You’ll get through it, hang in there, honey!! :console:
I know that there seem like a lot of rules, but nothing worth anything is ever easy. You’ll get through it, hang in there, honey!! :console:
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EasterJoy
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Yes. See your pastor, OP. He will be happy to talk to you and help you to explore what your situation is. If he’s not, then keep looking until you find a priest who is. There are many out there.
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Leegal
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No one can give exact advice on a Catholic decree of nullity because that’s for the Tribunal to decide. And certainly others of other faiths may have an agenda which is to make you fear the Church so that you leave.Plus my friends from different religions (one from latter day saints and another a protestant) are trying to tell me all the flaws in my religion because of the problems I’m having. They keep saying that the catholic church contradicts itself and makes up its own rules.
Especially my friend whose a morman, she spent 2 hours today telling me all about her church.
Do not discuss these doubts with friends as they have the most imperfect understanding of the Catholic Church and the faith – and certainly are trying to create doubt in you.
A priest will welcome you; do not be afraid.
God Bless.
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Luvtosew
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Good luck Sheilah, be brave and call for an appointment, take the advice of the other posters. Sounds like your husband and first wife were young and he was kinda pushed into marriage, but best to see what the Priests tells you.I just asked him and he said his first child was just over a year when they got married
Also don’t be ashamed , we all have done stuff in our past and we are all sinners,so
please don’t let that stop you. God is with you.
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Listener
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I hope you can work things out, but I see a bit of a red flag here. You say he has 3 children by his ex-wife, but the children are with their granny. If they are his children, why aren’t they with him? If he ends up with them, are you prepared to raise a family with five children?
This guy seems like a bit of a loser to me, since he keeps getting women pregnant before he marries them.
I agree that you should definitely get some counseling by a priest before you marry him.
By all means, keep going to Mass and keep taking your children to Mass even if you can’t receive Communion. Except for receiving Communion, even atheists and non-Christians are welcome at Mass.
This guy seems like a bit of a loser to me, since he keeps getting women pregnant before he marries them.
I agree that you should definitely get some counseling by a priest before you marry him.
By all means, keep going to Mass and keep taking your children to Mass even if you can’t receive Communion. Except for receiving Communion, even atheists and non-Christians are welcome at Mass.
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Sheilah921
Guest
Hi, I don’t appreciate you calling my partner a loser when you don’t know him or my family! I came here for advive and guidance not to be insulted by a stranger! my partner has been through alot and who gives you the right to judge him!
It is a very complicated situation, my partners xwife twisted the children against us. Shes a very nasty person. For example when the kids lived with her she wouldn’t let him buy them anything, if he gave them a birthday present she’d put it in the bin and tell them they couldn’t have anything that their dad give them. When our first son was born he was 2 months premature and we gave his kids a picture of their half brother. They were sent back down to our house with the picture of my son ripped up in an envelope! I can’t describe how nasty this woman is and how she’s warped the kids against us. Because of this he finds it very hard to have a good relationship with them. She lies to them all the time, she even got her child to lie and tell the doctor that I had a car accident and they now have a claim against me and my car insurance has tripled. I can’t risk taking his kids in my car anymore because of this. The stress this has all put on me is enormous, please don’t judge us
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Castello
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Talk to your pastor. Priests are always happy to have someone come home!
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joanofarc2008
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- Please talk to your priest.
- Please do not get married in a civil ceremony. You are robbing yourself, your SO, and your children the chances of this marriage starting out right. You will also be robbing yourself of the grace of being able to receive the Eucharist while sorting out the previous marriage situation of your SO.
- On top of all the things listed you will also be robbing yourself the chance of sitting down with your priest and properly discerning marriage with your SO including the definition of what a Catholic marriage entails.
- You can at this point still be reconciled to the Church - but please speak to your priest and please be willing to bear this Cross for a bit and wait it out while you listen for God’s will in this.
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Sheilah921
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And as sad as it is, the times we live in I have not known one person who didn’t have sex before marriage! I can’t believe this because all the people I know are catholics but it seems the norm that most people I know have kids before marriage and def have sex. Also everyone I know uses contraception! This is all new to me in the last week when I’ve started looking into my religion. I’ve always used contraception since my kids were born. Maybe I don’t live in a very holy place or something or maybe its the times we are living in but I can’t believe that I’m only realising this all now!
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joanofarc2008
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It is the society we live in. It is hard to be a faithful Catholic and still live in the world. This is why we are called to be countercultural. Sometimes by our actions we teach about Catholicism. This does not mean that we do not tell people the message but it means that sometimes we live by example as well.And as sad as it is, the times we live in I have not known one person who didn’t have sex before marriage! I can’t believe this because all the people I know are catholics but it seems the norm that most people I know have kids before marriage and def have sex. Also everyone I know uses contraception! This is all new to me in the last week when I’ve started looking into my religion. I’ve always used contraception since my kids were born. Maybe I don’t live in a very holy place or something or maybe its the times we are living in but I can’t believe that I’m only realising this all now!
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ebonykawai
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I agree and it’s a very vexing problem. So much so to me that I am going to seminary for a Masters in Pastoral Ministry and want to work with women and families, teaching NFP and Theology of the Body. The Catholic Church needs to start working on these issues of WHY, so that people understand the reasoning behind it. It’s all based on the natural world, natural law, and makes complete sense. It’s also well documented in sociological research. I simply cannot wait to get my degree and get out into the field. There would be a LOT more healthy women, physically, mentally, and spiritually, and stronger families if only they understood and followed the Church’s teachings.And as sad as it is, the times we live in I have not known one person who didn’t have sex before marriage! I can’t believe this because all the people I know are catholics but it seems the norm that most people I know have kids before marriage and def have sex. Also everyone I know uses contraception! This is all new to me in the last week when I’ve started looking into my religion. I’ve always used contraception since my kids were born. Maybe I don’t live in a very holy place or something or maybe its the times we are living in but I can’t believe that I’m only realising this all now!
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Sheilah921
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That’s a great thing to do! I think there’s not enough information out there or support for people to learn the right thing to do. Can I also ask which bible I should get? I want to start reading it and trying to understand it but don’t know which version I’m should read? (I’m a roman catholic from northern ireland if that makes any difference?) I was looking at the shop on this site and there’s books to help you understand the bible aswell, I was thinking one of them might help me also.
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ebonykawai
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Probably the best Catholic bible is the NRSV (new revised standard version), the second edition is excellent and all the books are there (Protestant versions are missing quite a few).
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