Marriage and dating

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beckie_clark

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is it ok for a husband to be dating around (presenting himself as single to the ladies who dont know hes married) even though hes claiming hes not “sleeping” with them has stayed the night at several of their houses and spends signigicant time texting, calling them and spends alot of time with them claiming they are “friends”
 
Of course it is not ok. What part of “forsaking all others” does the husband not understand?
 
hes claiming its ok because he comes home at what ever point
 
hes claiming its ok because he comes home at what ever point
He would be wrong.

*You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. * **Matthew 5:27-28 (NIV) **

There are a lot of things wrong with this behavior.
 
If this is your husband you have a problem. This guy is a player and way out of line. What he is doing is totally wrong.

He is playing his wife for a fool, whoever she is. Time for her to give him some ultimatums and quickly. If he keeps acting like this, time to look into a divorce.
 
its been going on for 16 1/2 years and been civily married for 10 1/2 if i dont stay im worried for his welll being there is also other things going on for now i cant file for divorce i also have spoke to several priests who say because of cercumstances that an anulment can be done is a marage of convienence and more of a living arangement
 
That’s not okay at all. A husband should only have eyes for his wife. He made a vow before God to be true to her.
 
its been going on for 16 1/2 years and been civily married for 10 1/2 if i dont stay im worried for his welll being there is also other things going on for now i cant file for divorce i also have spoke to several priests who say because of cercumstances that an anulment can be done is a marage of convienence and more of a living arangement
You have tolerated this too much and it is time to either split and get an annulment if he will not focus on his marriage. The advice given you by the priests has been good.
 
if i dont stay im worried for his welll being
What about your well being? He obviously doesn’t care about that. I really mean this in the most charitable way, but he has really harmed your self-esteem. Please see yourself for the valuable child of God you are and leave him
there is also other things going on for now i cant file for divorce
Not sure what could ever prevent a woman from divorcing a man who mistreats her
 
is it ok for a husband to be dating around (presenting himself as single to the ladies who dont know hes married) even though hes claiming hes not “sleeping” with them has stayed the night at several of their houses and spends signigicant time texting, calling them and spends alot of time with them claiming they are “friends”
The answer is no. IS there some reason you are asking thsi question? Do you think it might be ok?
 
This is an absolutely terrible situation and should be ended now. Given that you say it’s been going on for years, it should be obvious that this isn’t a temporary thing that will blow over. As for his well being - he’s an adult, he can survive. What he is doing now risks his immortal soul, which is somewhat more severe than any emotional or similar trauma he might go through. Allowing him to treat you like this is bad for you and for him, and every second you allow it to continue just makes things worse for both of you.
 
If you already talked to the priest, why are you still asking? Go! Get! Leave! Depart! Ain’t nobody got time for that!
 
Listen to the priests!

I would not take the husband’s word for it that he is not sleeping with these women. He thinks it’s fine to flirt around, to lie to other women about being single, to go home with them, to spend the night at their house, and to keep in touch with them, even though all of this is hurting his wife… So why would he see any problem with lying to his wife about it? Would the wife finally “wake up,” see that this is actually a problem, and leave if she found out he did sleep with another woman (or several)?

Even if he’s telling the truth, this is still NOT okay for a husband to be doing. This is NOT the behavior of a committed, loving husband–or even of a good man. It’s the behavior of a selfish, manipulative liar. And allowing him to continue this behavior with no consequences is not the loving thing for a wife to do. He needs to know that there are limits and consequences to his actions, or he will most likely simply continue to disrespect and dishonor himself, his wife, and his vows. He may do so anyway, despite the consequences, but she should not cooperate with him in it!

A husband isn’t JUST the man who “comes home to me,” he is also the man who vowed to forsake all others for my sake, who protects, honors, and loves me. This man is doing NONE of those things.

If I was this wife, I’d leave (or more likely, kick him out) as soon as it was realistically possible (protecting myself financially, emotionally, and physically). After all, if he can regularly spend the night with other women, then he doesn’t need to sleep in my bed or even under my roof! Also, if it was me, I’d also ask my doctor to run some tests for sexually transmitted diseases/infections, just to be on the safe side. 😦

Praying for this situation. :gopray2:
 
It is not ok. My wife pulled this same **** on me and blamed it all on me. i am separated and not even dating. the question is will he come to his senses? and will it be too late?
 
he says it is because he comes home to me
Not ok
and because hes not “sleeping with them”
Not ok
also i was taught no matter what he does i have to stay
😊
This is false and contrary to official Church teaching. If your marriage is valid you must always conduct yourself as a married woman, is not date other men etc, but there are many cir instance that allow you to move out from your husband and live separately from him, and even to divorce him civilly. So even if your marriage is valid, which is questionable, your situation clearly justifies moving out, as is indicated by the fact that your priest has advised you to do so.
 
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