Hi. After looking around the site I figured this was the most appropriate place to ask this question.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for nearly two and a half years. We’re both practicing Catholics (quite a rarity among us college students
). Her basic goal in life is more or less “get married ASAP, have children, raise them to be good Catholics, and go to heaven,” which I think is very noble. I have never had a problem with her wanting to be a housewife–in fact, I think it’s a good choice, since I intend to be the breadwinner, so someone has to stay with the kids, right? Our basic plan has been to get married right after graduating college (I currently have a part time job, saving up for the future).
Anyway, she’s recently been kinda moody, and has been making several indications that she is not completely satisfied with waiting till graduation to marry. Her main argument is that marriage does not require romantic love. In fact, she says, marrying solely for money and in complete absence of romantic feelings is the most effective way to run a marriage, especially since divorce in Catholic marriage would be forbidden except in extreme cases (she uses this as a hypothetical reason for her to drop out of college and marry someone with money). I argue that love is not per se necessary, but should be present, as marriage is a sacrament, and defiling the sacrament in the name of earthly wealth is not in keeping with CCC s. 1661: “The sacrament of Matrimony signifies the union of Christ and the Church. It gives spouses the grace to love each other with the love with which Christ has loved his Church; the grace of the sacrament thus perfects the human love of the spouses, strengthens their indissoluble unity, and sanctifies them on the way to eternal life (cf. Council of Trent: DS 1799).” While I agree that pragmatism and financial security are important parts of secular marriage, it seems wrong to just enter into a sacrament with no feelings other than greed; kind of like going to confession only because you’ll get a clean soul at the end, and not really feeling guilty for your sins. Am I just reading the Catechism wrong? Am I looking at it the wrong way? After all, Christ did not conjoin with the Church because it would benefit Him, nor did the Church solely because there was a benefit in the end.
Any opinions on these opinions would help. (It doesn’t help this is the same person who believes that having children starting at age 22 is too old).
