Marriage and Mental Illness

[annlouise]

I recently married a wonderful man, who as the marriage has progressed, become increasingly mentally unstable. He is seeing doctors and is taking meds, but our marriage is more or less a roommate situation. We were not young when we married for the first time (both in our late 50’s and brought together through a Catholic organization). There is no physical relationship and it’s as though we are just friends living together. It was not like this when we were dating or engaged and I’ve asked him is he knew this about himself all along, but he said it was never this bad, nor did he display any symptoms of illness prior to our marriage - what do I do? we are seeing a catholic marriage counselor, but everytime he suggests something, my husband says “yes” for appearances and when we get home, nothing has changed. We should still be newly weds!

 

[vocatio]

You should forgo this forum and seek counsel from your pastor…a priest no doubt. This kind of thing is far to complicated for seeking advice on the internet. You should seek spiritual advice and pray a lot. An unknown preexisting mental discorder may be grounds for an annulment. But unless you seek it, the Church will automatically consider your marriage valid if both of you were presumably open at the time and the forms were followed…in a Catholic church and by a cleric. people opt to struggle through things. It will be a heavey burden. And if he doesn’t follow through with what he says, one must wonder if he was ever open to marriage. But talk to your priest as you.