Marriage and obeying parents

[HNA444]

I know someone who dated a guy for 7 years, without telling her parents, because they were strict about dating without getting engaged soon. So, she kept it a quiet from her parents. After 7 years of dating, he was ready to propose to her, so she had to tell her parents about it all. They ended up not liking him on the first meeting, and she told me that it was because he was not good looking to them. He also doesn’t have a lot of money and other shallow reasons they didn’t like him. No real valid reason, except for when they did ask him about his children in the future and church… and he told her dad that he wouldn’t make his kids go to church, but if they go than good. I didn’t like that, because they are kids!! they need someone to make them go. I guess they didn’t like that either. But, still… overall they had no good reason for not liking him. Plus, she was in love with him and wanted to marry him. Anyway, she ended up marrying him without their consent. Is that a sin, since she did not obey her parents? Should she have just ended the relationship, for sake of her parents wishes??? What do you all think?

 

[HyeDetroit]

Parents want what’s best for their children and grandchildren. It is best if the man has a good paying, decent job, treats the girl right, goes to church, and many other factors.

There are certain things you should not do on the first meeting of the parents. I think he violated a lot of them.
It was also wrong of her to hide the fact she was dating a guy for so long. Don’t you think the parents have a right to know what’s going on in their children’s lives?

Ultimately it is her decision to marry the man or not. It’s her life.
Gen 2:24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

 

[HNA444]

Parents want what’s best for their children and grandchildren. It is best if the man has a good paying, decent job, treats the girl right, goes to church, and many other factors.

There are certain things you should not do on the first meeting of the parents. I think he violated a lot of them.
It was also wrong of her to hide the fact she was dating a guy for so long. Don’t you think the parents have a right to know what’s going on in their children’s lives?

Ultimately it is her decision to marry the man or not. It’s her life.
Gen 2:24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

Yea, you are totally right. She was completely wrong for keeping her relationship with him a secret. But, wow I did not know that quote. That’s interesting, because I never knew that. I always thought that you have to listen to what your parents want.

 

[HyeDetroit]

Well…
Honor thy Father and Thy Mother is a commandment…

It depends on how old she is also. You should always treat your parents with love and respect, but once you reach a certain age you have to make your own decisions.

 

[kage_ar]

Until the young woman has left home and is supporting herself financially, she is under obedience to her parents (see bold added below):

From the Catechism:

scborromeo.org/ccc/para/2217.htm

**2217 **As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so.

As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its roots in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.