Marriage and relations question

[BlestOne]

surf(name removed by moderator)ure:

This is exactly the point I was just about to make if nobody had made it first. The sin of “scandal” cannot be overlooked in this case. Cohabitation gives the appearance of evil and entices others to sin. If we cohabit before marriage, even if there is no sex involved, we are responsible for the sins of anyone who sees us do this and sins as a result. It is a grave offense.

I agree with you about the sin of “scandal” however I also know that at times it can’t be avoided. I had my fiance move into my home when my son was 14 and having some serious puberty problems. A couple days before I went into the hospital for back surgery he lost his temper and kicked me in the back. I fell to the floor and couldn’t get up. My fiance stopped by to pick me up for a date and found me on the floor crying in pain. Since that day he has lived at my house. What a difference it made for all my children. I did talk to my pastor about it because I felt like I was being selfish and hypocritical. I told him that we were not having sex and that it came about because my oldest was having trouble with his temper during this stage of life. My pastor was shocked, not that we were living together or that we were not having sex, but that my son was doing that…he is such a “good” kid, nobody saw it coming. He (my pastor) agreed that my fiance being there was better than my son beating me. We also have gone to our pastor together, my fiance and me that is…and discussed our belief about abstinence and setting a good example for the kids. Actually, this experience has been good for the kids in that we are very open about our relationship with the kids and my boys are now dating and they are very sure that they want to save sex for marriage. My daughter and his daughter are both very happy to have a mom figure, a dad figure and a sister in the household. I don’t advocate living together, in fact I am very against it, I didn’t see any other viable option being that I couldn’t afford counselling for them and this has worked out better teaching them by example.

 

[surfinpure]

BlestOne,

I only ask this because you’ve gone into such detail, and please, please do not take this as criticism. I simply want to know: In this case, why not get married and eliminate the question of scandal altogether? If you two are engaged, are you not going to get married at some point? Why wait?

BlestOne:

I agree with you about the sin of “scandal” however I also know that at times it can’t be avoided. I had my fiance move into my home when my son was 14 and having some serious puberty problems. A couple days before I went into the hospital for back surgery he lost his temper and kicked me in the back. I fell to the floor and couldn’t get up. My fiance stopped by to pick me up for a date and found me on the floor crying in pain. Since that day he has lived at my house. What a difference it made for all my children. I did talk to my pastor about it because I felt like I was being selfish and hypocritical. I told him that we were not having sex and that it came about because my oldest was having trouble with his temper during this stage of life. My pastor was shocked, not that we were living together or that we were not having sex, but that my son was doing that…he is such a “good” kid, nobody saw it coming. He (my pastor) agreed that my fiance being there was better than my son beating me. We also have gone to our pastor together, my fiance and me that is…and discussed our belief about abstinence and setting a good example for the kids. Actually, this experience has been good for the kids in that we are very open about our relationship with the kids and my boys are now dating and they are very sure that they want to save sex for marriage. My daughter and his daughter are both very happy to have a mom figure, a dad figure and a sister in the household. I don’t advocate living together, in fact I am very against it, I didn’t see any other viable option being that I couldn’t afford counselling for them and this has worked out better teaching them by example.

 

[ElizabethAnne]

DeniseR:

It doesn’t sound like a very fun honeymoon.

Haha. Of course, we’re going away for the honeymoon. I’m sleeping on my friend’s couch after the lease is up on my old apartment and my fiance will live in our new apartment. What I meant is that I won’t move into the new apartment until after the honeymoon.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

surf(name removed by moderator)ure:

BlestOne,

I only ask this because you’ve gone into such detail, and please, please do not take this as criticism. I simply want to know: In this case, why not get married and eliminate the question of scandal altogether? If you two are engaged, are you not going to get married at some point? Why wait?

I was going to ask the same question… thanks Surf(name removed by moderator)ure.