Marriage and seperation

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lisa_xo

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I was married for about 12 years…My husband left us…the children and I 3 times during…we were married because I was going to have his baby and my parents said it was what was best…My husband filed for a divorce and the anullment was quick after that. I wanted a family…a whole family and met a man and we were married…this man was nice and was such a good friend of mine and did so much with the boys…after we were married and all of us started living under the same roof…he started complaining about the children… my children…he wouldn’t hardley want me sexually after the first month…and pretty well stopped spending time with me and the children…he would not even want to hold hands or kiss…I have tried so much to get him to talk or for us to get help…he turned to his doctor for pills…which I found out he was on befor we were married…only becoming worse after the marrige…he seemed to have shut down…he was then angry around the house so much…and became very depressed…I talked to his doctor about this and the pill abuse…but the doctor just gave him more… 😦 …He was so depressed and not the same man…even kcked me once…so we took time apart…he moved in with a girl that very weekend…I have not heard from him for over a year…I tried to get in touch but even his father would not help me…finally I did a few months ago…I used the excuse of need info on health care…anyway I was informed by him that He would be taking me off next month because he had met another girl whom he is now living with and she is five months pregnent…it hurt alot…I guess I was hopeing that some day he would change…he called a week later and asked to talk to me in person…so we did…he said he wasn’t really with her and was staying with his mom at her house and had said he really loves me and the kids and he wants to come back…and wanted to sleep with me soon…I said there is alot he has to work on first…I will help him out…was even getting excited to meet the baby when the baby comes…he was happy I was not mad…then week later I found out he was not truthful…and had not been staying with his mother but was still living with his girlfriend and when I asked him what was going on he said he wants to try to work it out with his girlfriend and sorry for the lies and don’t tell anyone we were talking…anyway this feels so yucky…but I am fine being on my own with my children…I am a family wih out a man around…we have a good family!! I always wanted to be a wife, to have a best friend to sleep with at the end of the day…and to have someone there when the children leave…I think I can go forever with out that…I know I will for as long as the children are home…but in about 5 to 6 years I will be on my own…I will probably be fine on my own…but sometimes I do think it would be nice to have a marriage to someone who would be a best friend to share the rest of my time with…if God’s will I live so long…I am not in a rush at all like I was before…I am so happy learning who I am and knowing that I am alright …that I do not NEED a man…but someday it would be nice to share…am I alowed to stop waiting and go talk to a priest about an annulment…there just seems like no hope and I do not trust him…he was younger then me too…they say age does not matter…well guess what girls…it does!! I can still wait I am not in a rush at all…it just all feels awful! still going to confession and communion… 🙂 thanks…wow that was long…sorry xo:blush:
 
It may be that you have grounds for applying for an annulment if your husband was under the influence of drugs, mentally ill, or emotionally unstable at the time you got married or if he didn’t intend the marriage to be permanent. However, in my diocese at least, you must be divorced before you apply for an annulment. From what you wrote, you are still legally married.

You have a lot of healing to do but with God’s help everything is possible. May God bless you and your children.
 
If you’re in a state of grace, you can certainly recieve the Eucharist. 🙂

In my diocese, and I think every diocese in the US, you must be legally divorced and produce documentation before you can petition for nullity. Talk to your priest about that.

I have a lawyer friend who helps people in your situation with divorces (abandonment, missing spouse, etc). There are some filings to make and some hoops to jump through, but you can probably file for divorce even if the spouse cannot be found. Check with a good lawyer about the laws in your state.

Divorcees may recieve the Eucharist if they’re in a state of grace! There’s lots of confusion out there about this issue. Some people stay away from the sacraments and even the Church as a whole because of divorce and it’s NOT necessary. A good priest is your best resource.

Praying for you.
 
thank you! I am still going to communion…and if ever I get a divorce I know I am still married in God’s eyes…so I know that after the divorce I still have to live as though I am a wife, because I still will be and that is fine also…I was worried about aksing for a second annulment…I know am not good at spelling!! 😊 thank you again:)
 
lisa_xo said:
thank you! I am still going to communion…and if ever I get a divorce I know I am still married in God’s eyes…so I know that after the divorce I still have to live as though I am a wife, because I still will be and that is fine also…I was worried about aksing for a second annulment…I know am not good at spelling!! 😊 thank you again:)
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No “rules” about a second petition, don’t worry.
 
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