It’s tough to answer a question like that without specifics - and we do NOT want any specifics. This is an area where prudential judgement and communication with your partner would need to guide you here. As well, you may want to speak with your priest. Now, if you are not comfortable describing these acts to a priest, perhaps that is a sign you should take note of.
The primary and essential end of marital relations is the completion of the act within the woman in accord with natural law. I do not believe (but would love clarification) that the use of “toys” is intrinsically sinful. But, if those items are intended to replace the true sexual act, rather than increase foreplay, they would not be appropriate. As well, if the toys attack the dignity each of you has as children of God, their use would be unacceptable as well. I would say, if it is something you feel you wouldn’t want your parents, or children, to eventually know you had done, it most-likely is an afront to that dignity…
The same would hold true with fantasies. Role-playing, within the realms of dignity, could be acceptable, provided both parties are willing, and the actions are meant in fun, as a way to increase intimacy before intercourse.
