T
that_name
Guest
Contact them. It would be good if you have a date (month and year)
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Phemie
Guest
It does sound as though he showed that he didn’t abide by Church law when he got married the first time so there was nothing preventing his marriage (convalidation) to his present wife. If he’s already done all that, it means there is nothing preventing your wife from marrying you in the Church.Should I contact the parish where they “allegedly” got blessed and see if they can help… i.e. would they have records of the blessing?
If you explain to the priest exactly what you are looking for, it might make things mighty easy for you.
T
Texas_Roofer
Guest
Are you attempting to marry in the Catholic Church?This is a bit painful for my wife, as I wrote earlier is that her ex ran off with another woman, and still to this day… 9 years later… does everything he can to make her life heck… and talking about the past brings up old wounds… so I want this to be as easy on my wife as possible. And since the ex evidently got it blessed, I don’t want to duplicate any work…
I guess you could ask but I would expect them to bock at your request for his recordsShould I contact the parish where they “allegedly” got blessed and see if they can help… i.e. would they have records of the blessing?
I am not sure, both the ex, Dave, and Dave’s wife are under obligation to disclose any impediments.It does sound as though he showed that he didn’t abide by Church law when he got married the first time so there was nothing preventing his marriage (convalidation) to his present wife. If he’s already done all that, it means there is nothing preventing your wife from marrying you in the Church.
If you explain to the priest exactly what you are looking for, it might make things mighty easy for you.
Dave
There maybe easier way first do you and the ex live in the same diocese? parish? If so maybe simply filing of the annulment paperwork which discloses his name may allow the advocate to straighten it out for you?
D
Dave_in_Dallas
Guest
Update
Ok I called the parish where the ex got blessed, and found out that the wife & ex’s marriage was ruled “Absence of Canonical Form”, and the monsignor at the parish is authorized to deal with those there at the parish level. So no annulment required, and never went to tribunal… so that explains it all.
So from this period forward it should be pretty easy…
Ok I called the parish where the ex got blessed, and found out that the wife & ex’s marriage was ruled “Absence of Canonical Form”, and the monsignor at the parish is authorized to deal with those there at the parish level. So no annulment required, and never went to tribunal… so that explains it all.
So from this period forward it should be pretty easy…
1
1ke
Guest
Awesome!Update
Ok I called the parish where the ex got blessed, and found out that the wife & ex’s marriage was ruled “Absence of Canonical Form”, and the monsignor at the parish is authorized to deal with those there at the parish level. So no annulment required, and never went to tribunal… so that explains it all.
So from this period forward it should be pretty easy…
T
tweetymom
Guest
Question please. If Jesus forbad divorce and Catholics still get them where in the world come up with this idea of annulments. Who thought it up.? It is not in the Bible
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Phemie
Guest
The Church was given the authority to bind and to loose.Question please. If Jesus forbad divorce and Catholics still get them where in the world come up with this idea of annulments. Who thought it up.? It is not in the Bible
When it comes to marriage she says certain things are necessary to contract a valid marriage. If those things aren’t present when you speak your vows the marriage is not valid. That may not come to light for many years but should the marriage break down to the point where a divorce is sought and obtained, the Church will examine the wedding (if asked to do so) to see if everything that was necessary for validy was in fact present. Sometimes that was not the case and the marriage is declared null based on what was happening before and during the wedding ceremony and perhaps after if it proves the presence of a defect.
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tweetymom
Guest
Well thank you I do diagree with annulments however. Most people want and annulment so they can remarry and be ok with the Church. I just wonder at some of the rules the CC has imposed and if Jesus is in agreement?The Church was given the authority to bind and to loose.
When it comes to marriage she says certain things are necessary to contract a valid marriage. If those things aren’t present when you speak your vows the marriage is not valid. That may not come to light for many years but should the marriage break down to the point where a divorce is sought and obtained, the Church will examine the wedding (if asked to do so) to see if everything that was necessary for validy was in fact present. Sometimes that was not the case and the marriage is declared null based on what was happening before and during the wedding ceremony and perhaps after if it proves the presence of a defect.
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Phemie
Guest
Some of the requirements for validity are:Well thank you I do diagree with annulments however. Most people want and annulment so they can remarry and be ok with the Church. I just wonder at some of the rules the CC has imposed and if Jesus is in agreement?
*]Marrying a Catholic
*]Marrying in the Church
*]Free will to marry
*]Open to children
*]intent that marriage will be ‘until death’.
*]Intent to be faithful
*]Maturity to understand what is involved in the duties of marriage.
1 & 2 can be dispensed by the Bishop (which is what did not happen in Dave’s wife’s first marriage) and the marriage would still be valid. The rest must be present.
So the couple who marry intending to divorce if things don’t work out are not contracting a valid marriage; neither are the ones who marry intending to never have children. Perhaps the couple who married because a baby was on the way wasn’t validly married because the pregnancy pressured them into getting married.
These are all things that the Tribunal will look at to decide on the validity of a marriage. Of course couples want a decree of nullity so they can remarry and be right with the Church. Why shouldn’t they? If for some reason your marriage had been invalid, wouldn’t you want to know that so that you could move on with your life?
S
Spirithound
Guest
“annulments” do not exist. They are “decrees of nullity”. They do not remove something that was there, they declare that there was nothing there in the first place.Well thank you I do diagree with annulments however. Most people want and annulment so they can remarry and be ok with the Church. I just wonder at some of the rules the CC has imposed and if Jesus is in agreement?
T
Texas_Roofer
Guest
Annulments go way back and are not divorces. Annulments signify the “marriage” did not occur even if there was a wedding or ceremony. In scripture it takes about marriage in several places, and is specific the two become one." *“Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.(Mt 19:6. )”*So when the two do not become one are they married? The Church teaches they enjoy the “favor of Law”. In the annulment the proof is the to show the “Favor of Law” should be waived off and the sacrament struck from the record.Question please. If Jesus forbad divorce and Catholics still get them where in the world come up with this idea of annulments. Who thought it up.? It is not in the Bible
Can. 1060 Marriage possesses the favor of law; therefore, in a case of doubt, the validity of a marriage must be upheld until the contrary is proven.
It is not as bad as it sounds, the reason so many are upset is far to many catholics claim to have more authority than the church has. If one restricts the issues properly I think you will be okay with what the Church and tribunals are doing.Well thank you I do diagree with annulments however. Most people want and annulment so they can remarry and be ok with the Church. I just wonder at some of the rules the CC has imposed and if Jesus is in agreement?
Can. 1059 Even if only one party is Catholic, the marriage of Catholics is governed not only by divine law but also by canon law, without prejudice to the competence of civil authority concerning the merely civil effects of the same marriage.
hope that helps
D
Dave_in_Dallas
Guest
So I have the convalidation set up for about a month from now.
- one thing the deacon didn’t mention was:
if we stop haveing “relations” and I go to confession, can i then take the eucharist?
or
are we supposed to give up “relations” anyways and still not get eucharist?
S
Spencerian
Guest
Hi.Question please. If Jesus forbad divorce and Catholics still get them where in the world come up with this idea of annulments. Who thought it up.? It is not in the Bible
To clarify on an earlier answer to your question, an annulment is not “Catholic divorce.”
Divorces are civil law dissolutions. The Catholic Church restricts a person to one valid and sacramental marriage, which cannot be dissolved on Earth (even by the Church) if it was done correctly. We follow Christ’s rule about marriage very seriously. Re-marriage is not something offered glibly.
The Church does have the authority to investigate and determine if two people were improperly disposed to marriage before the wedding ever occurred. If a tribunal finds a fault, a declaration of nullity is then given–a marriage never officially took place and a person who had divorced is free to remarry.
Unlike a divorce, which defines a permanent separation based on what happened during a marriage, an annulment tries to determine if the two parties had followed the proper canon law governing the ability to marry in the Church–before the actual wedding ever takes place.
For instance, two Catholics are married but then one learns that one of the party never intended to have children and refuses to. Under canon law, this marriage could be deemed invalid since the open intention of having children is part of valid marriage.
Annulments are for Catholics only. The Church sees anyone who has been properly baptized as having a valid marriage. Annulments are used only if a divorced party (Catholic or not) wishes to re-marry in the Church to another Catholic.
More about annulments and special exceptions that dissolve non-sacramental marriages can be found here.
R
revert_jen
Guest
I think if you stop and go to confession, you should be able to receive the eucharist, as long as you intend to stay stopped until the ceremony. But you can ask your confessor when you go to confession to be absolutely sure.So I have the convalidation set up for about a month from now.
- one thing the deacon didn’t mention was:
if we stop haveing “relations” and I go to confession, can i then take the eucharist?
or
are we supposed to give up “relations” anyways and still not get eucharist?
Congratulations on your upcoming sacramental marriage!
–Jen
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revert_jen
Guest
This is just nit-picking, but the statement above is not strictly accurate. Sacramental marriages are dissolved on earth by the death of one of the spouses. I know that’s not what you were talking about, but for completeness it should be included.Divorces are civil law dissolutions. The Catholic Church restricts a person to one valid and sacramental marriage, which cannot be dissolved on Earth (even by the Church) if it was done correctly. We follow Christ’s rule about marriage very seriously. Re-marriage is not something offered glibly.
–Jen
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Spencerian
Guest
That’s right, Jen. I oversimplified my statement. Thanks.This is just nit-picking, but the statement above is not strictly accurate. Sacramental marriages are dissolved on earth by the death of one of the spouses. I know that’s not what you were talking about, but for completeness it should be included.
–Jen
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