Marriage/ annulment

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Elizabeth6510

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Hello,

This is my first post here thanks for the direction in advance! I have been catholic all my life I met a wonderful man 4 years ago and we decided to take steps toward marriage now years later we have welcomed a child after a long journey into our lives. Well now he is gone on a short deployment with the military and finally opened up to me and told me about some past homosexual experiences, I feel like they are continuing not only male but female encounters not necessarily physical but emotional for sure ( email-text-pictures ect.) I’m not sure if this is a cross I must bare myself and continue in love with this marriage… Divorce is the absolute last thing that I want but often I think he does things specifically so I will eventually leave and he is free again. Please and guidance anyone could give would be much appreciated!

Have a blessed day!
 
Make an appointment to talk to your pastor about your situation. This is far beyond what advice can be given on an internet forum.
 
i wish I could I go to a military church where the catholic priests rotate I’m not really sure how to contact them?
 
I would first ask the priest who does the Mass where you go, perhaps just ask him after Mass how to set up an appointment. If that isn’t possible, then is there a regular civilian Catholic Church nearby that you could go to? I’d give them a call.
 
You can also see your Chaplain on base. Your husband’s unit should have a chaplain. I am am military wife as well. Send me a message if you have anymore questions.
 
Elizabeth,

I am so sorry you are in this situation. My opinion is that you must protect yourself and your child, if he is still engaging in homosexual sex or even sex with other women for that matter – there is just too much disease out there.

I am not saying that this is how he is or that things will turn out this way; but it could be that he is gay, and that he is trying to convince himself (and show others) that he not: joining the military – especially a more demanding or “tougher” branch, getting married and having kids but still carrying on gay relationships. He may even come to the realization that he is gay and that it would be “unfair to you and your child to say married.”

As for contacting a Priest, if you are having a hard time getting in contact with one at the base, check your local community outside the base area. If none in the area, it may seem impersonal but go online get the phone number of one closest and call. They may be able to put you in contact with a Priest that can visit the church on base.

Again I am so sorry that this is happening to you.

I pray that God grants you strength and peace.

Winter
 
If you live on post, look up the chaplain’s office to see about contact with a Catholic chaplain. If that gets you nowhere, check out a Catholic Parish off post. And look into marriage counseling. If you are concerned about a sexually transmitted disease, go to the doctors onpost and ask to be tested. Or, go to the county health department off post. Someone, somewhere, should be able to put your mind to rest on these matters. We can offer some help, but mostly support. I was once in the Army, and when I got out, married to a man who was still on Active duty. I won’t go into details, but it was all wrong from the get go. Get counseling, both individual and couple’s. Get a full check up and I might come across as being wrong here, but insist that he be checked over as well when he comes back. I would insist on this before having sex with him. But that’s me.

You are in my prayers, and in my heart. Good luck, and God Bless. :hug3:
 
If you wish to PM me I will help you get in touch with the proper phone numbers for the Archdiocese of the Military Services as well as some other counseling services the military has to offer for spouses whose soldiers are on deployment.
 
Please speak with any of your local priests about this and also go get yourself tested for STDs. You need to make sure to take care of your health since you may have been exposed to something. Early detection is a key to being healthy even if his infidelity has resulted in a disease.

I sincerely hope it can all be resolved and you both can have a healthy marriage, but you may have grounds for an annulment if he entered into marriage without being honest about his past and his intent to keep his vows.

If you speak to any priest (even though military priests rotate) the priest will be able to put you in touch with the right people to help you.
 
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